We all know what it’s like to be out someplace that requires a modicum of quiet and Todd (that jackass), just won’t shut up. Well, no longer will you have to helplessly listen to Todd’s diatribe extolling the virtues of Goji berry juice. You can do something about it. Continue reading
This is the only way to make sure Rick Santorum gets the nomination. Continue reading
Tim Burton will never ever cease doing that thing that he does in nearly every movie which casts Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp being Edward Scissorhands for the nine craptillionith time. And he’s done it again with his animated feature Frankenweenie. The movie tells a tale about a boy and his dog. Awww, right? No. We just told you…Tim Burton. Continue reading
Are we ready for the rise of Lohan? This is probably a complicated question. Continue reading
The Cutting Room will take a look at the strange, fantastic, and sometimes suck-filled moments that end up on screen (but may have been better served on the cutting room floor). Today: Christian Bale Defies Death in Equilibrium.
You know what happens on Sunday afternoons? Action movies. Yep, and if you’re lucky you may end up re-watching one that’s hugely entertaining that leads to a satisfying 90 minutes spent marveling at Steven Seagal’s shirts with inexplicable shoulder pads or listening reverently to Arnold’s thespian delivery of “Geh Doo-Dee Choppppahhh!” However, if not, you’ll end up watching 2002’s Equilibrium starring Christian Bale, Sean Bean (Ned Stark!), and Taye Diggs while laughing your face off at the wholly improbable, sensationally craptastic, overwhelmingly overwrought gunplay, swordplay, and every other play you could imagine. Continue reading
Thump, thump, tha-thump. Thump, thump, tha-thump. Yes, this is the way this episode opens, with the tenor of a heartbeat. We see both Rick and Shane scrambling to get away from another horde of zombies, but this time that Randall kid is with them. They’re where? At another school? Another deserted waylaid outpost? The zombies are catching up to Shane and he takes shelter in an abandoned school bus. Continue reading
The never surprising Best Supporting Actor/Actress race! No, not really. This award has been given to surprise recipients Marisa Tomei, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kim Basinger, and Jennifer Hudson. However, this does mean that you’d better be able to back this thing up with some stunning post-award greatness in order to ever land the top prize. This can happen! If not, though, you may be associated with the following comment, “Oh, yeah, Catherine Zeta-Jones won an Oscar! I totally forgot about that.” Or “Hey, whatever happened to so and so, didn’t they win an Oscar? See how this works Supporting Actor/Actress nominees?
So who will it be this year? Continue reading
Oh good. Google has decided that the world is ready for digital glasses. That’s right. It’s just about time that we all had facts and data broadcast mere inches away from our eyeballs. This won’t be infuriating in the least. Not one single person will become that guy who has the new fangled Web-Specs, and like a cyborg, will start rattling off all the fun! exciting! mind-numbingly inane things! he just looked up on Google from rolling his head to the side, blinking at lightning speed, and basically walking into traffic because Todd, just had to show off. This thing will be awesome. (The machines. They’ve been sent to kill us.) Continue reading
Twilight set the pace, now The Hunger Games is hoping to Eclipse it in movie sales; Sacha Baron Cohen, the unfunniest human, ever, wants to prank the Oscars; Ryan Phillippe would like to work from home; Community will continue to get awesomer; and “The Rock” has dibs on being “The Suck.” Continue reading
Yesterday, President Obama released the list of reelection co-chairs who will work to help him stay in the White House for another term. Rick Santorum calls them “Kenyan Muslin Enablers” or “Democrats.” Mitt Romney calls them “People poorer than me,” and Gingrich refers to them as “Hippie baby killers in relaxed fit jeans.” Yes, of course, Newt. It’s hard to rule over someone using Druidic sanctimony if their jeans are comfortable. Everyone knows that. “No, really, former Speaker, go on I’m listening. These jeans, though, they feel like Chenille. CHENILLE! Really, feel them!” Continue reading