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Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Golden Globes: Hollywood Will Try and Paint Glitz Over a Nation In Peril


The Golden Globes ceremony to be aired on Jan. 8th will be hosted by comedian Jimmy Fallon, who by that time will probably have a bunch of seriously unfunny jokes about the madman about to become president of our nation, whom he patted on the head like an errant puppy during their last interview. But before that, dresses! and baubles! and pretty ribbons that represent claiming Canada as a new home, will be splashed across our television screens while we check Twitter to find out just how much Alec Baldwin is taunting our would-be “Scooby Doo” villain who lives in a gold apartment in the Black Lagoon. Continue reading

Make No Mistake Donald Trump Represents the Sustained Trauma of Sexual Assault

old_artSomewhere in the mess that became the 2016 presidential election, Donald Trump went from scumbag, real estate mogul to a dinner table tall tale. He edged away from being held accountable for his bigoted, sexist, destructive talk in every way a presidential candidate should be. He managed to transcend the responsibility heaped onto every other candidate that ever ran for the office, and is, as he always has been, flying by the seat of his pants, uncontrollably, manically, and with complete abandon of social mores, God-given intellect, and human decency.

In effect, he is an abomination hurtling through space, knocking the tenets of Americanism asunder by plundering anything positive and laying waste to it with every decision he makes — and that was before the release of the infamous Access Hollywood tapes — or the accusations of sexual assault by several women from Trump’s past. Continue reading

The Hollywood Caller: The Trumpening Has Begun

the_trumpening A massive combover landed in Cleveland and threw itself into the eyeballs of the American people; HBO to forget about George R.R. Martin completely; the Pope asks if Hollywood really likes him; Adam Sandler is his own best friend; Michael Bay screams “Benghazi!” into a wind tunnel; True Detective “mehs” us to death; MSNBC is now a rehab clinic for unsuitable anchors; and Ryan Seacrest loses one of his forty-nine jobs.

So how did the Trumpening go last night? Basically it was like watching a bunch of ludicrous dancing laser lights being chased by one insane cat. That cat is Donald Trump, who just doesn’t give a fack. In the most not givingiest of a fack way possible. Continue reading

Here’s Why Starbucks’#RaceTogether Initiative is Misguided

When Starbucks announced their new race initiative, #RaceTogether, that would see baristas attempting to hold conversations with customers surrounding race issues, the Twitter backlash was swift and conclusive. Downgrading the importance of race relations — or patronizing the efforts of those who work tirelessly to discuss race in more fitting environments by suggesting it can be easily dissected while waiting in a Starbucks line — proved laughable to most and just short of offensive to others.

Were it not for our collective eye-roll when it comes to the gimmicky nature of the corporate sanitization of various issues affecting our society, the outcry in response could have been relegated to just Black Twitter. However, given the diversity of social media, a community of citizens that is an actual microcosm of the world over, many, regardless of race, were unified in their expression of distaste. And that should tell Starbucks something. Continue reading

What to Do When Your Congressman’s Downton Abbey Inspired Office Gets National Attention

Reveal that it’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever witnessed.

When you think about how your Congressperson’s office is decorated, if you think about it at all, don’t you kind of think there would be a lot of brass and flag centering, perhaps a few busts of the American Eagle or Ronald Reagan? Perhaps a candy dish with the Constitution emblazoned on it, or a letter opener made of steel and fired from George Washington’s very own musket metal? How about Downton Abbey? Do you think there should be inspiration from Downton Abbey? And by inspiration we mean down to the color of the walls and a chandelier? Well, Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock has done exactly that, but he doesn’t want you to know about it. Continue reading