end of the world

4 posts

Google and Skynet Team Up With New Android Robo-Eyewear!

Oh good. Google has decided that the world is ready for digital glasses. That’s right. It’s just about time that we all had facts and data broadcast mere inches away from our eyeballs. This won’t be infuriating in the least. Not one single person will become that guy who has the new fangled Web-Specs, and like a cyborg, will start rattling off all the fun! exciting! mind-numbingly inane things! he just looked up on Google from rolling his head to the side, blinking at lightning speed, and basically walking into traffic because Todd, just had to show off. This thing will be awesome. (The machines. They’ve been sent to kill us.) Continue reading →

The e-Reader Killed the Bookstore Star

I’m a murderer. Yup. I participated in killing off something that I love deeply by owning an e-reader. As Borders, the second largest book seller in the nation, prepares for the liquidation process of selling off its remaining assets this Friday, I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. If it wasn’t for my need for convenience, my desire to carry not just one book in my handbag but at least three, and the ease with which I can read said book on the subway…Borders might not be going out of business. Yes, I’ve sold my book soul for reading with one hand. Oh, the humanity. Continue reading →

Dressing for The Rapture

The dictionary defines “Rapture” as an English noun derived from the Latin verb rapio, with a literal meaning of “I catch up” or “I snatch.” I define “Rapture” as “Aw fuck, here we go.” Now, I don’t know about all of you, but I like to be prepared, whether it’s keeping an umbrella at work in case of rain or being ready for the day of the Lord’s wrath against the ungodly which is supposed to last about seven years. For those of you with the FastPass to Heaven, bless you*! It doesn’t matter what you wear, as soon as you fist bump (with explosion) St. Peter and stroll through those pearly gates, you’ll be halo’d up and good to go for eternity. For the rest of us poor unfortunate souls, your Sunday best isn’t going to help you now, so ditch the designer duds and check out this guide for the ultimate Rapture wear. Continue reading →

Armegeddon Outta Here

Oh my goodness, ya’ll! Just 24 hours until the end of the world!

In case you haven’t heard…tomorrow, Saturday, May 21st, is it. Finito. The End of The Line. Check-out time. So says Colorado minister Harold Camping, who believes all will end. You’ve probably seen his followers wandering about wearing sandwich boards to warn the rest of us, because nothing gets the word out about important things like sandwich boards. Continue reading →