25 posts

The 2021 Academy Awards and Red Carpet Open Thread

Welcome to your Crass open thread for, as they say, the TV show about movies. It’s the spring pandemic edition of Hollywood’s annual night of self-congratulation, listing off people you’ve never heard of, and virtue signaling. And this year you don’t have anything better to do.

Continue reading

The Hell Are They Wearing? 2013 Oscars

Ladies in silver, white, blue, and FLOTUS! lit up Hollywood in celebration of the year in film. The men looked hipster handsome, many accessorizing with vests and beards (the ones that go on your face). The couples sizzled: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, Naomi Watts and Liev Schrieber, George Clooney and his date for a second season, Stacey Kiebler, and Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner gave us hope that they actually enjoy each other in real life…they are the true thespians.

All in all, very good fashion show! It was full-on glitz and glamour with no notable disasters if you don’t count the anatomically correct darts in Anne Hathaway’s dress. Continue reading

85th Annual Academy Awards Liveblog!

Welcome to the television show about movies, featuring Seth MacFarlane as this year’s host! We’ve been promised a singing death match between Barbra Streisand and Adele. Anne Hathaway will decompose into burlap tatters while giving her acceptance speech for best supporting actress in the character of Fantine. Angelina’s leg make a return appearance, this time without that pesky body to drag around. Join us for all the excitement! Continue reading

What Can You Do With An Oscar Anyway?


We’re rapidly approaching Hollywood’s biggest night. The one that’s supposed to mark one’s career as really, really important in the movie industry, and with the pomp and circumstance leading up to Oscar night already beginning to churn and bets in full swing as the nominees begin the “For Your Consideration” parade — what’s an Oscar really worth in Hollywood capital these days?

At the big Oscar nominee luncheon a few days ago we got a little glimpse into what the nominees are thinking thus far. We gather now that Pre-Oscar-watching is a thing that we do in preparation for the live event, like any good award-rubbernecker, we’ve got to hear about what the nominees are thinking while they walk the red carpet to go eat goose liver salad or whatever they serve at an Oscar nominee luncheon. Ergo we have already placed value on the words of “to-be” Oscar winners. Things like: Continue reading

Joaquin Phoenix Rejoins Hollywood Just to Complain About Hollywood

Remember when Joaquin Phoenix was this inexplicable star on the rise? When he shocked us with his creepily stunning portrayal in Gladiator, and the soul-bearing performance he gave in Walk the Line, both of which he received Oscar nominations for? And then remember when he and Casey Affleck, who we haven’t seen recently despite his brother’s rise, did that little experimental project where Phoenix mumble-rapped as a hygienically-challenged crazed hobo? Yeah, well, Phoenix has decided to appear back in fighting Oscar contender form this year with the critically acclaimed The Master, but also not totally let go of that weirdo, stage-falling bearded nutter-bum of a persona. Continue reading

Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress Oscar Roundup

The never surprising Best Supporting Actor/Actress race! No, not really. This award has been given to surprise recipients Marisa Tomei, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kim Basinger, and Jennifer Hudson.  However, this does mean that you’d better be able to back this thing up with some stunning post-award greatness in order to ever land the top prize. This can happen!  If not, though, you may be associated with the following comment, “Oh, yeah, Catherine Zeta-Jones won an Oscar! I totally forgot about that.” Or “Hey, whatever happened to so and so, didn’t they win an Oscar? See how this works Supporting Actor/Actress nominees?

So who will it be this year? Continue reading