Election 2012

140 posts

Help Mitt Get Buzz

We all know by now that President Obama is an unAmerican communist, socialist, marxist, nazi, muslim, race baiting radical. An elitist who has shaken hands with, hugged, bowed to, and/or stood in the same room with every enemy of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that his corrupt, whore-chasing secret service guard can find for him. Born in Kenya, educated in Indonesia, indoctrinated by the liberal Illuminati who were grooming him for his eventual rise to power and the destruction of the American Way, his destiny was sealed as the ink dried on his fake birth certificate. Oh, and he has eaten dog. Continue reading →

Mitt Romney Needs a Running Mate

Few decisions are as important to a presidential candidacy than the choice of a running mate. A Vice President can make or break… okay, mostly break, (I’m looking, and laughing, at you, Sarah.), a campaign. There are several names starting to attach to the Romney campaign, but there are oh-so-many options. Let’s help!

Who do you think Romney should name and what would they bring to the Republican campaign? Continue reading →

Pick Mitt Romney’s Campaign Theme Song

Seeing as how the GOP nominating season is effectively over now that Rick Santorum is done talking about coal miner’s ovaries or whatever, the Romney campaign can now focus on important things. Important things like sending a bus to follow the President around at his appearances, or trying to make a thing of the fact that the President ate dog meat as a child.

Really, the campaign should focus on a much more important next step: picking a campaign theme song. A campaign theme song can tell voters so much about who you are as a candidate. Are you hip, down to earth, yet totally inspirational and leadershipfull? (Yes, I made that last one up) Continue reading →

America’s Love Affair with Rick Santorum Comes to an End

On Tuesday, at a rail yard hobo-camp near Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, not far from where old Zebulon Romney sold loads of defective beans to Union Army quarter-masters during the Civil War, news spread like cholera or wildfire or some other fast-spreading thing that Richard “Shoeless Dick” Santorum, the hobo senator, was ending his presidential campaign. The senator, wearing his trademark overalls and clutching a Big Gulp cup full of gin and Sprite, spoke before a small crowd of hobos, tramps, pimps, train-whores, steampunks, and blood plasma merchants. Tears and gin streaked his grimy face. Continue reading →

Rick Santorum Uses Profanity to Blast Reporter, Stands by It; Some Call It a Meltdown

Santorum, now in a contentious fight for the Republican nomination, has entered the playground taunts and mocking part of his campaign. You’ll remember his glee last week at equating rival, Mitt Romney with an Etch-A-Sketch symbolizing the former Massachusetts Governor’s penchant for flip-flopping on issues, at times within the same sentence. Continue reading →

Michigan and Arizona Primary Open Thread Hootenananny

Here we go! This one is actually going to be good. First we have Arizona, center of the wing-nut universe. Chief of Bat-Shit Crazy, Jan Brewer, has endorsed Mitt Romney and he is in the lead in the latest polls. Unless Rick Santorum can have him deported by a gay deputy, it looks like Mitt will take the delegates.

However, tonight’s main event is clearly the Michigan Primary. Rick is breathing down Mitt’s neck in the hopes of pulling an upset in Romney’s home state. A Santorum victory will rock the Republican establishment’s faith in Mittens and make a general clusterfuck out of the primary race. Please, please, please tell me this will happen. If Santorum pulls this off we can look forward to calls for a brokered convention and The Grand Inquisitor will be one step closer to her dream Palin/Trump Republican ticket. I am already hoarding images for my photoshop file. Bonus points:The Karl Rove hysteria during his Fox commentary tonight will be utterly epic. Continue reading →

Tuesday Political Sausage

As many of you know, there is a Crasstalk Politics Team that regularly discusses the issues of the day. One of our favorite pastimes is passing around links from the various sites we read on a regular basis. To encourage participation, I’m starting a new series called “Political Sausage” (so named because it’s made up of links, and seeing politics get made isn’t pretty), in which I will gather what I feel are the most entertaining or thought provoking links from around the web and share them with all of you. I encourage discussion, and hope all of you will post your own links as well. Continue reading →