(William brushing the dirt off? Lulz) Oh, sure she is. There’s got to be some way to inject some Americanism into the news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a little monarch, right? There’s probably no better way than to submit that America’s little bundles of baby pseudo-monarchy are probably giving this whole Royal Baby nonsense the empirical side eye that it rightly deserves, yes? Yes. Continue reading
In a new article released by the New York Times, sources confirm that Michael Bloomberg didn’t want his reign over New York City to end with ushering in some regular schmoe politician. Oh, no siree. On the contrary, since being mayor of New York is akin to being an Egyptian Pharaoh, he wanted to find a successor worthy of the magnanimous role of presiding over the entire world of New York — and by extension apparently the boroughs of Atlantis, Valhalla, and Narnia — and that person would be soon to be retired Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.
Bloomberg, who’s had a good relationship with Clinton, placed a call to the Secretary of State to encourage her entry into the 2013 mayor’s race. Continue reading
So we reach the midseason finale of a show that has worked extremely hard to shake off the cobwebs of its second season which saw most everything drag to an abrupt halt where there was even a question of the show’s survival if it didn’t improve. What’s made the first half of the third season remarkable is the almost new found focus and energy the show’s found by sloughing off most of the trappings of the second season and putting forth a reinvigorated showing to add more balance to the middling product. Continue reading
No, NBC, you may not ruin The Sound of Music. But Haha! Who are we kidding? This is NBC we’re talking about. Today it was announced that NBC has cast country singer Carrie Underwood as Maria Von Trapp in their three-hour Sound of Music live broadcast. We assume this means Taylor Swift never made it to the top of their short list? Seems totally unlikely, we know. But maybe she was preoccupied house hunting for a place to live exactly seven inches away from her latest love interest. Continue reading
News outlets are reporting that on Tuesday a 15 year-old girl in Afghanistan was beheaded after her father turned down a marriage proposal. The perpetrators? Allegedly two relatives of the girl, one of whom, a cousin, who wanted to marry her. Reportedly, the father refused the proposal because she was too young. Continue reading
We wonder if those America jeans, or the gold shilling isn’t going so well? We wonder this because Glenn Beck, who’s never been known for being the sanest person to ever set foot out of Fox News, probably needs to stop consuming so many crazy biscuits like immediately. He’s nearing some sort of meltdown. And we imagine if or when it comes, it won’t be pretty. In fact it may require a litter box. Continue reading
Oh, good gracious. We imagine this will be like having lunch with the jerkoff from high school whose mom plays Bridge with your mom, so now you’re obligated to eat with this guy so you can hear all about his sensational plans to travel/go to cooking school/open up a hot dog stand at the baseball stadium or whatever, now that he’s unemployed. You can’t make anyone any promises, but sure, yeah, you’ll see if there are any openings at your company — perhaps in the research lab testing Styrofoam and pantyhose. No, not really, but what can you do? Continue reading
Now that we’ve heard that Lenny Kravitz will be taking on the role of Marvin Gaye in an upcoming biopic, the interwebz are abuzz about whether or not Lenny is “dark” enough to play the part. This blogger asks the question that if he were a veteran actor would all the talk about “colorism” recede from view? Perhaps. Continue reading
So, you find yourself surrounded by mason jars, corks, and I dunno, pipe cleaners and coat hangers, and you’ve decided to embark on a DIY project. If you’re like me, this will probably not happen, because 1) Where do you get all this stuff? 2) How does one ever really decide to make a reindeer lawn ornament out of mason jars, corks, pipe cleaners and coat hangers? No matter! This is what you’ve planned to do since all the Thanksgiving hullaballoo has died down and it’s right before the Christmas shopping craze gets into full swing. So, what’s a good DIY project? Continue reading
Sheesh. Nothing is sacred. Not anymore. Elmo as we know it is gone. Also, Kelsey Grammer will have to smile at his one Boss Golden Globe. He won’t be getting another. On the bright side, The Walking Dead may have just gotten more awesome if that’s possible. NBC despite its sweeps success is still a stupid network. Barbara Walters thinks potty mouth dogs are interesting. Oh, Paula Abdul, really? Really. And Downton Abbey we have a bone to pick with you! Hugh Laurie, we don’t mean crossbones. Continue reading