Afghanistan

So The Markets are freaking out again. I feel like Markets should be capitalized because “the markets” has become this phrase you hear all the time now, some presumed entity with a will of its own. News anchors will say things like “let’s see what the markets are doing,” or “the markets are not responding well to this news,” like they’re talking about some unruly sentient being, a deranged stallion to which all our fates are tied.

• Homeland Security has announced a new deportation policy that will allow many illegal immigrants to stay in the US.
• An Egyptian border guard has been killed in an Israeli raid on militants.
• HP will no longer be making PCs and shitty laptops.
• British Council offices have been bombed in the Afghan capital.