Mayor

3 posts

Bloomberg, King of New York, Thinks Hillary Clinton Would Make the Best Queen Ever

In a new article released by the New York Times, sources confirm that Michael Bloomberg didn’t want his reign over New York City to end with ushering in some regular schmoe politician. Oh, no siree. On the contrary, since being mayor of New York is akin to being an Egyptian Pharaoh, he wanted to find a successor worthy of the magnanimous role of presiding over the entire world of New York — and by extension apparently the boroughs of Atlantis, Valhalla, and Narnia — and that person would be soon to be retired Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

Bloomberg, who’s had a good relationship with Clinton, placed a call to the Secretary of State to encourage her entry into the 2013 mayor’s race. Continue reading

Mayor of Toronto Chases and Threatens Reporter

The Mayor of Toronto is a massive embarrassment to my city. Yesterday, one of the Toronto Star’s city hall politics reporters filed a story that Rob Ford wants to buy a slice of the park adjacent to his house so that he can build a bigger security fence. The reporter behind the story, Daniel Dale (and this is according to his own account, which differs from the mayor’s), went out to the park of which Ford wants to buy a piece and was taking pictures of the park and, it would seem likely, Ford’s fence, for the story. Continue reading