politics

378 posts

John Kasich Suddenly Learns About ‘Compromise’

Pity poor John Kasich. After enjoying the rousing round of Republican victories in the 2010 elections that saw him win the governorship of Ohio without so much as a majority of Ohioans voting for him, Kasich had to watch last week as Republicans in Wisconsin lost two seats in the legislature there. Then, of all the indignities, the two Democrats up for recall there this week retained their seats.

Now, normally Wisconsin state politics have nothing to do with Ohio state politics.  However, when both states pass draconian anti-union laws within weeks of each other-laws that were eerily similar, they sort of do. Continue reading →

Today in Wingnuttery: Get on the (Canadian) Bus

The Patriots© at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze have uncovered a grave scandal in the Obama administration. Actually, they copied a story word for word from The New York Post, but taking the time to write up your own summary is socialism, so what the hell. Anyway, Nobama has once again proven to be a treacherous enemy of America by purchasing a tour bus that was made in socialist Canada!

Actually,  The Post story admits that only the shell of the bus was manufactured in Canada. The interior was customized and the bus was sold to Secret Service in 2010 by Hemphill Brothers Coach Company, which is located in freedom-loving Tennessee. A (presumably) annoyed spokesperson for the Secret Service points out that the buses meet specific requirements to protect candidates and may even be used to transport the 2012 Republican nominee.
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America’s Love Affair With Tim Pawlenty Comes To An End

Running for President isn’t easy.  You have to eat a lot of corn dogs. You have to go to every diner in New Hampshire and drink cup after cup of maple syrup with flinty, skeptical maple miners. You have to go to dusty Iowa fairs and feign admiration for a lot of prize hogs.

You have to raise a lot of money, make some spiffy ads, and get some college kid to make you one of those website gizmos.Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty did all these things. Back in January, his campaign kickoff ad, entitled Courage to Stand–no seriously, that was the name– was a work of genius, a trailer for a summer blockbuster starring superstar action hero Tim Pawlenty. The ad, skillfully edited so you don’t actually see much of Pawlenty, looks like it’s a preview for Transformers IV. You could taste the Pawmentum. Continue reading →

Conservatives Yell Foul at Newsweek for Hilarious Michele Bachmann Photo

I don’t know about you, but if you’re often photographed, or filmed, or witnessed looking like a complete loon in most every visual sense represented by modern technology…how can you really blame anyone for your lack of focus, your stunned appearance, or what looks to be a pained effort to read the words inside your head? Apparently, Conservatives believe that the liberal media wants to make Michelle Bachmann look crazy, and it’s not, uh, you know, Michele Bachmann just looking insane, because that’s kind of her thing.

Let’s see what the conservative brain trust thinks. Continue reading →

Monday Morning Headlines

Those riots in London are still being milked for front page stuff today, according to the BBC. What were they even rioting about? Okay, it seems as though the police have killed someone and a protest over said death got out of hand, that’s why. But I also  think that rioting has become sort of mainstream, it’s kind of just acceptable to riot sometimes now. Everyone’s doing it! It’s an internet sensation like planking except it has horrendously destructive and violent consequences in real life, which is pretty uncool so if you’re going to go crazy and burn something let it be the sweet Mary Jane brothers and sisters, amen. Gather round and get your headlines inside.  Continue reading →

Start Stretching: The Debt Ceiling Crisis Continues

Well, I was hoping we wouldn’t get this far, but here we are.

For those of you that recall my last article on the debt ceiling crisis, I said that my last article would be titled either “Tango Down: US Debt Ceiling Crisis Averted” or “Grab Your Ankles: US Defaults on National Debt”.

Based on my title, I’m sure you can figure out which way I’m leaning on this one.

Since my last article, we’ve watched negotiations between the Vice President and Congress collapse, the President and Congress collapse, and Congress and Congress collapse. What makes that last part worse is that it’s not like it’s failed once. No, it’s worse than that. The House can’t agree with the Senate. House Republicans can’t agree with Senate Republicans. Democrats can’t agree with Republicans. And the House Republicans can’t agree with each other. Continue reading →

Will Your ISP Be Forced to Spy On You?

While we’ve all been watching the Tea Party squeeze the government by the balls, a measure was passed by the House Judiciary Committee that could have a profound impact on our privacy should it be passed into law. Internet providers would be required to maintain records of customer activity for 12 months in the event it’s needed for legal investigations.

Data retention has been high on the Republican wish-list for a decade. It’s ostensibly intended to help law enforcement build cases against child pornography and internet predators. If that’s the case, they are throwing an awfully wide net: Continue reading →

Tuesday Morning Headlines

I am wearing pads of cottons over my baby blues, so damaged are my eyes from watching John Boehner in High Definition last night. That was my fault. I should not turned to a HD channel. I just didn’t think of it, you know? One minute I was chillin’ on the couch, playing with my new Droid3, the next minute this spectacular glow filled the living room, eclipsing the glow from my Yankee candles, exploding forward, washing over me, filling my brain like the juice of a radioactive orange. I shall heal. Worry you not about me. Continue reading →

Friday Morning Headlines

 

The above video sequence is dedicated to the people of Boston, our fashion choices, and boobookitty

Hello. It is extremely hot today. It is going to be approximately 3,000 degrees today in New York City. I am closing all my shades, cranking up the A/C, and building myself an igloo in a kiddie pool. I will sit here naked, watching a marathon of Arrested Development and writing headlines for you.   Continue reading →