politics

375 posts

Conservatives Yell Foul at Newsweek for Hilarious Michele Bachmann Photo

I don’t know about you, but if you’re often photographed, or filmed, or witnessed looking like a complete loon in most every visual sense represented by modern technology…how can you really blame anyone for your lack of focus, your stunned appearance, or what looks to be a pained effort to read the words inside your head? Apparently, Conservatives believe that the liberal media wants to make Michelle Bachmann look crazy, and it’s not, uh, you know, Michele Bachmann just looking insane, because that’s kind of her thing.

Let’s see what the conservative brain trust thinks. Continue reading →

Monday Morning Headlines

Those riots in London are still being milked for front page stuff today, according to the BBC. What were they even rioting about? Okay, it seems as though the police have killed someone and a protest over said death got out of hand, that’s why. But I also  think that rioting has become sort of mainstream, it’s kind of just acceptable to riot sometimes now. Everyone’s doing it! It’s an internet sensation like planking except it has horrendously destructive and violent consequences in real life, which is pretty uncool so if you’re going to go crazy and burn something let it be the sweet Mary Jane brothers and sisters, amen. Gather round and get your headlines inside.  Continue reading →

Start Stretching: The Debt Ceiling Crisis Continues

Well, I was hoping we wouldn’t get this far, but here we are.

For those of you that recall my last article on the debt ceiling crisis, I said that my last article would be titled either “Tango Down: US Debt Ceiling Crisis Averted” or “Grab Your Ankles: US Defaults on National Debt”.

Based on my title, I’m sure you can figure out which way I’m leaning on this one.

Since my last article, we’ve watched negotiations between the Vice President and Congress collapse, the President and Congress collapse, and Congress and Congress collapse. What makes that last part worse is that it’s not like it’s failed once. No, it’s worse than that. The House can’t agree with the Senate. House Republicans can’t agree with Senate Republicans. Democrats can’t agree with Republicans. And the House Republicans can’t agree with each other. Continue reading →

Will Your ISP Be Forced to Spy On You?

While we’ve all been watching the Tea Party squeeze the government by the balls, a measure was passed by the House Judiciary Committee that could have a profound impact on our privacy should it be passed into law. Internet providers would be required to maintain records of customer activity for 12 months in the event it’s needed for legal investigations.

Data retention has been high on the Republican wish-list for a decade. It’s ostensibly intended to help law enforcement build cases against child pornography and internet predators. If that’s the case, they are throwing an awfully wide net: Continue reading →

Tuesday Morning Headlines

I am wearing pads of cottons over my baby blues, so damaged are my eyes from watching John Boehner in High Definition last night. That was my fault. I should not turned to a HD channel. I just didn’t think of it, you know? One minute I was chillin’ on the couch, playing with my new Droid3, the next minute this spectacular glow filled the living room, eclipsing the glow from my Yankee candles, exploding forward, washing over me, filling my brain like the juice of a radioactive orange. I shall heal. Worry you not about me. Continue reading →

Friday Morning Headlines

 

The above video sequence is dedicated to the people of Boston, our fashion choices, and boobookitty

Hello. It is extremely hot today. It is going to be approximately 3,000 degrees today in New York City. I am closing all my shades, cranking up the A/C, and building myself an igloo in a kiddie pool. I will sit here naked, watching a marathon of Arrested Development and writing headlines for you.   Continue reading →

Note to Michele Bachmann…Endorsing Slavery Is Not the Way to Win the Presidency

You would think this is pretty much a no-brainer…well, you would be wrong. Michele Bachmann seems to think that the institution of slavery is just where she should rest her presidency-seeking laurels…endorsing it, creating make believe people who fought to end it, you know, just all around bastardizing American History and offending a large part of the nation with racist statements and all around stupidity. Yes, indeed, this is the way to win votes in this country. Let’s discuss the tenets of slavery…erroneously! Continue reading →

Despite Best Efforts Palin Plays Coy Uselessly

Are we all naive enough to believe that Palin doesn’t think that she’ll be the Republican white night riding in at the last minute to save the day? I think we’re fairly certain that Sarah Palin believes that all these other jokers littering up the field are just there to be her opening act, and that once all the squabbling begins and the race just looks like a bunch of loons held together by Mittens Romneypants and Michele BachmannGooglyEyes (slavery endorser) the Zeus and Hera of all stupid things, this is when she’ll emerge like a Bumpit-haired buzzard dressed in a Starfleet jacket waiting to pick the bones of the GOP carcass. We do think this will happen despite her latest interview in Newsweek magazine don’t we?

Continue reading →