presidential race

4 posts

Presidential Debate Liveblog: Around the World in 90 Minutes

We live in a world where new threats constantly emerge, power structures are frequently in flux and diplomacy is increasingly important to those who hold power. As leader of the free world (in theory) the President of the United States must posses a nuanced and thoughtful world view.

The best way for candidates to display that worldview is in a series of soundbites spread out over 90 minutes to an audience of folks who would have a hard time finding the Middle East on a map. Fortunately, we’ll hear nothing of the President’s secret war, nor of Mitt Romney’s dis-interest in putting a stop to it. Nor will we hear about the vast powers to make war that the Executive branch has accumulated in the last 30 years, because acknowledging it might mean giving some of them back.

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How to Speak Like Rick Santorum

I assume you’ve been paying close attention to Rick Santorum’s rhetoric. If you’re not, then jeez, this must be a really boring political season for you. But if you are paying attention, then you know that Rick Santorum says things, and that the things he says, they mean things, other things, important things. Republicans seem to agree: Santorum is a good speaker, which is important in a President, unless that President is Barack Obama, in which case good speaking skills only prove what a strange, dangerous Other he is. Continue reading

Maine has spoken! Only 41 States to Go

Maine has spoken! Across the lobster-ravaged wastes of frozen Maine, residents donned their colorful voting costumes and emerged from their moose-fur yurts to vote in the Republican caucus. Unlikeable Massachusetts protocol droid Willard “10K” Romney eked out a narrow win over accursed 3000-year-old gold-wraith Ron Paul for the fickle loyalty of the crustacean-worshipping Maineacs. Hobo-busker “Shoeless Dick” Santorum, fresh off his triple victories in Missouri, Minnesota, and Colorado, came in third. Grumpy and irrelevant space-beast Newton Leroy Gingrich came in fourth. Continue reading

America’s Love Affair With Tim Pawlenty Comes To An End

Running for President isn’t easy.  You have to eat a lot of corn dogs. You have to go to every diner in New Hampshire and drink cup after cup of maple syrup with flinty, skeptical maple miners. You have to go to dusty Iowa fairs and feign admiration for a lot of prize hogs.

You have to raise a lot of money, make some spiffy ads, and get some college kid to make you one of those website gizmos.Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty did all these things. Back in January, his campaign kickoff ad, entitled Courage to Stand–no seriously, that was the name– was a work of genius, a trailer for a summer blockbuster starring superstar action hero Tim Pawlenty. The ad, skillfully edited so you don’t actually see much of Pawlenty, looks like it’s a preview for Transformers IV. You could taste the Pawmentum. Continue reading