Let’s not even check to see what Andrew Sullivan is doing. We have the feeling he’ll be watching the debate in airplane “kiss your ass goodbye” position and that’s helpful for no one. But what we can say is that according to all the pundits, everywhere, this debate could mean the difference between staying in your home come January or booking that one-way ticket to Costa Rica. Good God! Did Rush Limbaugh ever buy a home there?! Continue reading
mitt romney
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A week after Willard Romney overclocked his untruth modules and scampered energetically around the sleeping President during the debate in Denver, the two vice-presidential candidates met for a debate in the pleasantly whisky-scented auditorium at Yokelburg State College in Kentucky. Vice President Joe Biden’s goal was to stop weeping Democrats from jumping off of ledges. “Atlas Shrugs” cosplayer Paul Ryan wanted to show everybody he was all growed up. Continue reading
So Time magazine, which is becoming some sort of pre-debate wrench-thrower, (you’ll remember those awesome pics of Paul Ryan’s workout regimen released last week) has leaked the pre-debate agreement between Mitt Romney and President Obama. Continue reading
Debate bounce schmounce. All this guy needs to ever do is start talking and let his real feelings out about how he sees the poor. And isn’t that really what this whole thing is all about? Who will best work for and empathize with all of America? Well, as Romney sees it, people don’t have to worry about dying from a lack of health insurance — somebody will treat you and pick up the tab. Continue reading
Now that we can hopefully move on from Mitt Romney’s explosively devoid of truth debate performance where he conjured a look-a-like hopped up on aggressive position-shifting jujubes to great success, let’s all continue to focus on what has become the new face of the man. That face is still carved in an Etch-A-Sketch. The latest showing, his miraculous new position on abortion he laid out late Tuesday. Are we still going to call this a success? Continue reading
Do you know what happened yesterday? No? Jennifer Aniston purchased received the biggest engagement ring anyone has ever seen. No, seriously, that thing was bigger than a Pillsbury biscuit on her next-to-FU finger. Sure. Haha. No one cares about Jennifer Aniston’s diabolical plot to in-yer-face get married before Brad and Angelina. What we cared about in droves was the recent poll numbers that showed Barack Obama IS FARGING LOSING THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE! Foiled again, Aniston. Continue reading
Oh, dear Lord. There’s a whole new word out there for Republicans who don’t believe today’s job numbers. Truthers. That’s not very creative. It would be much more impressive say they went with “Jobbers” or “Number Floggers” or “Grouchy Guys in Armchairs.” Well, whatever. They’re not the only ones. Some Democrats are saying it’s possible Mitt Romney, soul-sucking, underworld cretin, and candidate for the Presidency, may have cheated during the debate Wednesday night, Palin style!
Everyone’s walls are lined with foil today, folks. Continue reading
The pundits and news sites, even MSNBC’s Chris Matthews and the Huffington Post, all seem to agree that Mitt Romney won the debate last night. If you’re a Liberal, the display was a bit hard to bear. But was the debate won on substance or style? Continue reading
With only five weeks until the election, the GOP’s point of no return zipped past in the rearview weeks ago. About the time Mitt Romney spent a muggy night in Tampa following up the weirdest public display by a senior citizen since Reagan’s second term with a bore-fest, the tide started turning against America’s favorite Mormon-Plutocratic-Android.
Tonight, that could all change. Mitt Romney could give the performance of a life time, the President could have a ‘Kill Whitey’ moment, and Ann Romney could spend Thursday morning planning for ways to keep ‘you people’ away from the Executive Mansion. Continue reading
Well, it’s one thing to be found less popular than the incumbent while you’re running to win the White House. It’s another thing entirely if you’re found to be less popular than his predecessor, especially if that person happens to be George W. Bush. Continue reading