Oh, dear Lord. There’s a whole new word out there for Republicans who don’t believe today’s job numbers. Truthers. That’s not very creative. It would be much more impressive say they went with “Jobbers” or “Number Floggers” or “Grouchy Guys in Armchairs.” Well, whatever. They’re not the only ones. Some Democrats are saying it’s possible Mitt Romney, soul-sucking, underworld cretin, and candidate for the Presidency, may have cheated during the debate Wednesday night, Palin style!
Everyone’s walls are lined with foil today, folks.
First, let’s get to Jack Welch, General Electric CEO, and apparent overzealous Twitter user, who heard about today’s job numbers released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics which marked a gain of 114,000 new jobs with the unemployment rate plummeting to 7.8 percent from 8.1 percent last month. “Hogwash!” Elmer Fudd said. Apparently, old Jack Fudd thinks some shady dealings went on guided by Chicago’s number one gangster, Obama Capone.
“Unbelievable jobs numbers..these Chicago guys will do anything…can’t debate so change numbers,” tweeted Welch
Oh, ho. That’s hilarious. Of the two people on that debate stage Wednesday which one really could be more capable of hiding and/or manipulating a document to skew his way to meet a figure he promised he’d reach earlier in the campaign? Here’s a hint. (Cough. Tax Returns. Cough.) Anyway, before we start yet another TRUTHERISM conspiracy theory, Welch is not alone in his assertion, because Conservatives are sore losers at everything else even when they’ve already pocketed a win this week. Hey, boys, don’t get cocky, now! Your guy could still step in a cow puck just by opening his mouth and letting an avalanche of robo-gaffes fall out!
That means nothing when there’s conspiracy afoot.
Conn Carroll, of the Washington Examiner, tweeted, “I don’t think BLS cooked numbers. I think a bunch of Dems lied about getting jobs. That would have same effect.”
Rep. Allen West chimed in.
“I agree with former GE CEO Jack Welch, Chicago style politics is at work here. Somehow by manipulation of data we are all of a sudden below 8 percent unemployment, a month from the Presidential election. This is Orwellian to say the least and representative of Saul Alinsky tactics from the book “Rules for Radicals”- a must read for all who want to know how the left strategize.”
And finally, right-leaning Americans for Limited Government released a statement saying, “Either the Federal Reserve, which has its fingers on the pulse of every element of the economy, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics manufacturing survey report are grievously wrong or the number used to calculate the unemployment rate are wrong, or worse manipulated. Given that these numbers conveniently meet Obama’s campaign promises one month before the election, the conclusions are obvious.”
So, so, obvious. Because wanting the health and recovery of the economy with the result of Americans finding work is an odious thing. A dastardly plan put forth by Obama Capone and his Chicago cronies. You Conservatives have one goal, and that’s to thwart the plan for America’s success. Conservative Avengers Assemble! “Let’s Fight For America’s Lack of Prosperity!” Er, wait, what? Exactly.
And There’s the Cheat Sheet Idea
Did you guys see that when Mitt Romney came out on stage Wednesday night he had something in his hand? It looked a lot like a crib sheet that had copious zingers on it. Probably had a note to himself that said, “Ignore the various homes you have and the private plane you fly and all the loot you have hidden away in the Cayman Islands; say Obama is entitled to a big house and his own fancy, caviar plane! No one will get the irony.”
He very clearly threw something on the podium (and Fingies did notice that he went back for this something after the debate was over. Yep, before walking off stage with his family. HE WENT BACK FOR THE INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE OF HIS SARAH PALIN CHEATING!)
Apparently, there are no pre-written notes allowed in the debates. So doing what he did would be bad. Well, if he actually did it. Several sites went with the story including Daily Kos and Wonkette.
But, alas, the campaign has fired back and said that it was just a handkerchief for Romney’s sweat-slicked, oil swamp of a lying face, and you can see him using it later. So, no cheating, probably. It’s just that telling lies under hot television lamps makes one get a face full of perspiration and Pinocchio tears. Gotta mop it up with a Fib Towel. That’s all. Sorry, guys.
