mitt romney

53 posts

Even Joe Scarborough is Embarrassed by Romney’s Neediness

Mitt Romney is without a doubt the most painfully awkward man in the world.

Joe Scarborough, known Republican and morning political chat show host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, had a tough time yesterday sitting through the excruciatingly, awkwardly horrid Mitt Romney attempting not to be shown up by running mate, Paul Ryan, while at a recent campaign stop.

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To Be Filed Under: “I Can’t Even”

Mitt Romney has no idea how airplanes work

Speaking at a fundraiser Saturday night about the emergency landing that occurred while his wife was aboard.

“When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no – and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous.”

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Mitt Romney Will Finally Share His 2011 Tax Returns With You People

What’s the best way to mute ceaseless criticism that you are the “Plutocrat’s Plutocrat”?

Doubtless, it’s not releasing your 2011 tax returns showing an effective tax rate of 14.1%, but that’s about all Mitt Romney’s got. Reportedly, the returns include $2.25M of deductions for charitable contributions and about $14.7M of total income. Continue reading

What Republicans Should Learn From the Clint Eastwood Experiment

Well, last night at the RNC convention there was a barely contained feeling of excitement and anticipation as Mitt Romney was set to take the stage. Could he do it? And by it, we mean, make himself likeable, human, and alluring enough that not only the base could finally throw all their support behind the former governor and forever Olympics cheerleader, but for swing voters and independents to see the man behind his monotone words and connect with him on a real level? Continue reading

Welcome to Tampa: The GOP Convention Begins!

In a grimy rail yard outside Ybor City, a shoeless former senator hops off a freight car with practiced ease and makes his way through abandoned cigar factories to the grimy Interstate 4 overpass. “Screw you, Mitt Romney,” he mutters over and over again. “Screw you in the face.” It is his mantra now. At the bottle-strewn, urine soaked overpass,  he is greeted by an honor guard of Florida hobos in soiled SANTORUM 2016 t-shirts who  escort him to the hobo camp behind the convention center, where he is speaking on Tuesday night. Continue reading

When in Doubt Play To Your Base — Your Seething Ridiculous Base

Well, it’s been a tough week for Mitt Romney. Not only has the Obama administration not given up discussing his tax returns, some crazy man started talking about what happens in magical lady wombs which set off a bomb of atomic abortion proportions like he never could have imagined. Seriously. That shit hit the mega rape fan and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Continue reading