Good Lord, this is only the second one of these things. Can someone get me a ticket out of the country until this is all over? No? OK, well then let’s get to this. Continue reading
Election 2012
140 posts
Pity the poor American media. Forced to still cover six different ‘contenders’ for the Republican Presidential nomination, when they could be working to sharpen the alleged differences between a moderate-Republican-turned-frothing conservative-who-will-tack-back-to-the-middle as soon as he gets the nomination and an allegedly liberal-but-not-on-pretty-much-every-issue President, it was only a matter of time before the media would run out of patience for this whole exercise of ‘democracy’ and ‘primaries’.
Welcome back to hell gang. Tonight ‘s debate is on ABC and is co-sponsored by Yahoo News so look for some really scary questions from the online crowd. Why are we suffering through one of these tonight? I guess the GOP wants the terrorists to win. Continue reading
Apparently we’ve all been terribly wrong about Rick Santorum and his lack of love for black people in this country. You see, he cares so deeply about black people that he’d like to address them directly, you know, comfortingly, and supportively. This is just his way, you know, with other races. He looks them square in the eye and says exactly what he thinks. Everyone will soon thank him for it, just you wait.
On an Iowa stop Saturday, Santorum tested his theory. Continue reading
I came up with a very, very scientific poll to see how Crassers match up against Iowans.
Please note, I will not be able to match up who is putting down what so feel free to let your pinko flag fly and I will be unable to report you to Fox News.
I’ll post the results later tonight.
Also, I’d love it if someone would come up with a haiku about the Iowa Caucus. Continue reading
Well, it has been an exciting year in politics. From Tunis to Boston people took to the streets to demand change. Meanwhile, the world’s politicians continued with their usual asshattery, especially in the US, where another election promises more annoying declarations from the sad group of candidates who seek our votes. The Crasstalk News and Politics team has been here to hold your hand as we pass the horrific car accident that is our future, and we have picked out a few choice moments of the year for you to laugh at through the tears. Here are our picks for the best (and by best we mean lulzy) political moments of the year. Continue reading
CBS News’s 60 Minutes aired an interview with President Obama last night in which the President responded to Republican accusations that he is “fixated” on raising taxes on the wealthy. Continue reading
The Republican Presidential Campaign Clown Car makes a stop in Iowa tonight so the candidates can fling poo at loathsome frontrunner Newt Gingrich debate. This will, sadly, be a Herman Cain-less affair, since Cain dropped out of the race last week to get divorced spend more time with his family or whatever. On the plus side, though, they all get to bask in the glory of newly-minted frontrunner, disgraced former House Speaker and reptilian man-slug Newton Leroy Gingrich. How exciting that will be! Watch Rick Perry pester Gingrich with non-sensical drivel! See thousand-year-old mummy Ron Paul curse Gingrich with eldritch spells and rants about the Federal Reserve! Behold Rick Santorum do nothing at all! Oh, and Mitt Romney will be there as well.
Stunt candidate and presidential performing artist Herman Cain suspended his long-runnning performance piece, “Campaign 2012,” Saturday, November 3rd. Speaking before a packed house at Bucket-o-Laffs Improv Club in Atlanta, Cain donned his trademark clown shoes for the last time , and announced his retirement. He will no longer perform live, though webisodes of his more popular routines will continue to be posted on his comedy web site. Continue reading
One afternoon, Thunderclees and MonkeyBiz had a chat over GMail about writing an article on Rick Perry’s tax plan. This is that chat.
MonkeyBiz: Howdy
Thunderclees: So I’m Thunderclees—what’s your ID name?
MonkeyBiz: Monkeybiz.
MonkeyBiz: Which means this conversation is going to be very confusing for everyone, especially Bots
Continue reading