All right my little cuddle butts, it’s been a few weeks since I last gave you an update on all the lovely, lovely, read: “holy crap!” movies Hollywood has planned, so prepare for a post chock full of Hollywood goodness. Don’t go screaming into the night or anything.
You were warned.
It’s that time of year again! The Cannes Film Festival is in full swing, and a few of your favorite Crassholes are here to give you the scoop on what’s hot and what’s not. Spirit Fingers, Capt_Badass and I will be reporting live from the red carpet outside the Palais des Festivals. Just kidding! It’s a bunch of fuchsia bathmats I lined up next to my television here in Queens. So! On to the big news that everyone’s talking about. Continue reading
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Both the book and its two movie counterparts have many perceived villains. But, when you think about it, none of them are actually villains in the first place. Slugworth, the obvious culprit, is actually just a moral test placed in the children’s way by Willy Wonka. You could also consider Willy Wonka a villain; but in the end he is just trying to find an heir to his empire. The true villain in the series is Grandpa Joe.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, and Anthony Hopkins
Directed by: Kenneth Branagh
Written by: Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, and Don Payne. From a story by J. Michael Straczynski and Mark Protosevich.
Based on the comic book Thor created by: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby
Of all the comics that Marvel has brought to the screen over the last few years there is perhaps none that represented as bold a risk as that of Thor. It’s one thing to sell the public on a character with strong name recognition or that has a well known actor cast in the lead. Thor however was a different sort of gamble entirely. If people have heard of Thor at all it is more than likely to be in the context of Norse mythology. That he also has a long history as a character in the Marvel universe is something I feel most people are unfamiliar with. Continue reading
Thor, the newest film in what I would like to call The Avengers franchise, certainly does a great job of introducing the Norse god and gets you more than excited about the upcoming Avengers movie. The film certainly dazzles thanks to the visual effects department but in terms of storytelling it seems to thunder through (see what I did there?) most of the important plot points. Continue reading
You know what we don’t get enough of? Movies that smash things. Sure, there are movies that blow things up, movies with car chases, or aliens who demolish cities in their attempts to take over the world, but movies that just out and out smash things with a hammer for nearly two hours… yeah, there’s just not enough of that. And as a society, apparently we clamor for that free feeling that most of us forget after toddler-hood…the ability to destroy with the swing of a hand.
Thor was sent to remind us.
Marvel is set to take over the world very soon. As if you didn’t already know. It is truly their universe now, we just kind of dwell here eating Cheetos and watching American Idol. But not this weekend. This weekend hordes of people will flood the theaters to see another blond man work a hammer that has nothing to do with extreme makeovers.
You can’t touch this.
The Beaver
Starring: Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin &; Jennifer Lawrence
Directed by: Jodie Foster
Written by: Kyle Killen
Few films of 2011 have thus far been I wouldn’t say anticipated, but more likely pondered over than The Beaver. The reason for that of course being that this is “Mad” Mel Gibson’s return to the big screen following the latest of his many shall we call them kindly “incidents.”
Much less in the spotlight but also of note is that it is Jodie Foster’s first directorial effort since 1995’s largely forgettable Home for the Holidays.
Rightly or wrongly, The Beaver has sort of been viewed as a crossroads in Gibson’s career. Will it be enough to earn him back some good will in the eyes of the people after his series of very embarrassing and very public blunders? Or will it be but a blip on the continuing descent of this once shining star? To me the answer isn’t quite so clear cut.
Continue reading
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan and Vera Farmiga
Directed by: Duncan Jones
Written by: Ben Ripley Continue reading
Oh yeah, I love your little art-house offbeat indie comedy starring Parker Posey and that guy with the strange nose from that one Wes Anderson movie. But sometimes you just need a big-ass, big-budget epic monster of a movie. How the fuck else are you supposed to waste all of Sunday afternoon on the couch?
So for today’s QOTD…
What’s your favorite epic movie?
