Vermithrax Pejorative is an ancient and gigantic dragon. And yes, he can fly and breathe fire. When not terrorizing ignorant peasants, eating said peasants or burning things Vermithrax enjoys watching movies. Vermithrax also enjoys drinking. A lot. Given that dragons are exceptionally intelligent and wise Vermithrax has agreed to occasionally share his brilliant insights on movies with all the toothpicks (what he refers to humans as) out there.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, and Anthony Hopkins Directed by: Kenneth Branagh Written by: Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, and Don Payne. From a story by J. Michael Straczynski and Mark Protosevich. Based on the comic book Thor created by: Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby
Of all the comics that Marvel has brought to the screen over the last few years there is perhaps none that represented as bold a risk as that of Thor. It’s one thing to sell the public on a character with strong name recognition or that has a well known actor cast in the lead. Thor however was a different sort of gamble entirely. If people have heard of Thor at all it is more than likely to be in the context of Norse mythology. That he also has a long history as a character in the Marvel universe is something I feel most people are unfamiliar with. Continue reading →
The Beaver Starring: Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin &; Jennifer Lawrence Directed by: Jodie Foster Written by: Kyle Killen Few films of 2011 have thus far been I wouldn’t say anticipated, but more likely pondered over than The Beaver. The reason for that of course being that this is “Mad” Mel Gibson’s return to the big screen following the latest of his many shall we call them kindly “incidents.”
Much less in the spotlight but also of note is that it is Jodie Foster’s first directorial effort since 1995’s largely forgettable Home for the Holidays. Rightly or wrongly, The Beaver has sort of been viewed as a crossroads in Gibson’s career. Will it be enough to earn him back some good will in the eyes of the people after his series of very embarrassing and very public blunders? Or will it be but a blip on the continuing descent of this once shining star? To me the answer isn’t quite so clear cut. Continue reading →
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana & Cate Blanchett
Directed by: Joe Wright
Written by: Seth Lochhead and David Farr. Story by Seth Lochhead
Often times when you go into a movie you aren’t certain what you are going to get. Sure, you can see previews and read reviews but there’s always the possibility you’ll be surprised. This one of the great as well as awful things about spending money to go see a film. More often than not it seems that people are drawn into a bad film based on a clever trailer and leave disappointed. Sometimes though a film can end up being better than you expected.
Such was the fortunate case for me in seeing Hanna. Sure I like Joe Wright as a director, after all 2 out of his other 3 features (minus the abysmally reviewed/received “The Soloist”) have been quite good. And although Bana and Blanchett have more pluses than minuses in my book, their respective presences do not guarantee a film’s quality.
The biggest x factor of course was Saoirse Ronan herself. I have only seen the recently turned 17 year old actress in one other film to date, the exceptional 2007 Joe Wright directed film Atonement. However I was impressed with the gravitas and talent that she brought to the screen at the time. I have also heard she was great in the otherwise lackluster film adaptation of the The Lovely Bones. I am pleased to see not only did she not disappoint, but she helped make the film exceed my expectations.
Hanna (Ronan) has grown up in the wilds near the arctic circle. She has never known more than her relatively simple very low tech life. However despite their less than modern accommodations, her father Erik (Bana), a man with a mysterious past, has given her a very deep and varied education including a multitude of languages, sharp shooting and deadly hand to hand combat skills. Essentially he has trained her to be an assassin. When the time comes and Hanna decides she is ready she is able to send a signal notifying auhorities where they are. This alerts Marissa (Blanchett), a former colleague of her father’s, that Erik is in fact still alive and sets into motion events that will challenge Hanna’s ability to survive.
This film truly did impress me on a number of levels. There are a goodly number of high action sequences and I was very pleased with the skill in which Wright and cinematographer Alwin Kuchler were able to capture everything without relying on recent conventions of blurred movement and shaky cams which have been become staples of action sequences in recent years. Beyond that there were in fact a number of shots worked in that were fairly unique and did not detract from the viewing experience.
Eric Bana delivers a solid and believable performance as Hana’s well meaning father. Their relationship despite moments of violence between them is truly the emotional heart of the story. Regardless of how unconventional their lives are in the film you can’t help but think he did his damnedest to be a good father.
Equally skilled was the far more often great than not Cate Blanchett. Though she has been in a few films I consider duds (cough Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the cash grab sequel cough) she generally is one of the highlights of the films she chooses and has enormous range in her craft. As the decidedly vile Marissa she delivers yet again, bringing a believable foil and counterpoint to Erik.
But as I stated before the success of this film mainly rests on the shoulders of Saiorse Ronan. She is magnificent as the titular character. She conveys such intensity that she doesn’t just hold her own in the scenes she shares with the other leads, she owns them. I cannot say enough how impressed I was with her. Training for the role could not have been easy by a long shot and in the hands of a less capable actress the action scenes would not have been half as believable. The best thing I can think of to describe her character is the grit and determination of Sarah Conner or Ellen Ripley meeting the the skill and deadliness of Hit Girl. In other words, she may look sweet and innocent, but do not fuck with her.
In retrospect the story isn’t perfect. There are themes that are touched on but not fully explored or developed. There are other aspects that they just ask us to take for granted that seem fantastical. However a film like this requires a certain willing suspension of disbelief. It’s close enough to being plausible and that helps its cause. And the way in which the film comes full circle is both brutal to a degree and should be satisfying to the viewer.
2011 has thus far not been exactly spectacular on the film front. Granted there are a number of titles coming in the next weeks and months that fans of any number of styles can appreciate and enjoy. In the meantime however in my mind Hanna is the film that has most stood out to be noticed. The collaboration of Wright and Ronan has delivered another gem. I give it 6 beers.
Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel
Directed by: David Gordon Green
Written by: Danny McBride, Ben Best
What do you get when you mix some of the sensibilities of The Princess Bride, creatures that could belong in 80’s Jim Henson fantasy films, a dash of Pineapple Express stoner action and the humor of Eastbound & Down? That may be a rhetorical question because the answer is obvious; you get Your Highness.
The film has a pretty basic premise. When noble Prince Fabius (Franco) has his bride to be, Belladonna (Deschanel), kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) he sets out on a quest to rescue her accompanied by his lazy stoner brother Thadeous (McBride) and his brother’s manservant Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker). Along the way they encounter the fierce warrior maiden Isabel(Portman) who has a score to settle with Leezar herself.
I was sold on this concept from the very first moment I heard about it. Medieval fantasy? Check. Absurd premise? Check. Actors I enjoy? Check. Animatronic creatures? Check. Great director whose already proven himself with “stoner” films? Check. It seemed to me like it had so much potential. And Danny (Kenny Fuckin’ Powers) McBride not only stars in it but co wrote the feature as well. It brought to mind some of my favorite childhood films like Krull, Dragonslayer and Ladyhawke but with fouler language. I thought this is a sure thing.
However, it kind of misses the mark. It’s not as though the film isn’t funny, in fact it has a number of lines, scenes and sequences that I find downright hilarious. But I can’t help but feel it’s a bit restrained in spite of the R rating.
Which is rather unfortunate. First of all, I thought Franco and McBride were great. They were able to play off each other in a way that was effective without being overly cheesy (though this film did require a degree of cheesiness). Franco with his unwavering determination and charm and McBride with his crass humor and vulgarities in full swing.
Justin Theroux in my mind kind of stole every scene he was in. Leezar is a ridiculous character and Theroux brings a lot to the table with the scenes he does have. He also has some of the better lines in the film all told in my mind.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Rasmus Hardiker as Courtney. I had never seen him in anything before but I felt he had pretty excellent comic timing and added a lot to the film.
Writing women does not seem to be McBride and writing partner Ben Best’s strong suite however. Natalie Portman looked great (she always does) but her character was pretty one sided. She did have a few ridiculous lines delivered in the exact same tone as everything else she said. That was probably intended to help the humor, but to me it distracted from it. As for Zooey Deschanel she’s hardly in the movie at all and serves more as a plot device than a real character.
This is a very different style of film for director David Gordon Green. Sure he covered stoner territory in Pineapple Express, but this was a big budget medieval fantasy stoner film. I honestly don’t think the issue was his direction. And might I add that the cinematography was excellent (they shot in Northern Ireland, what a beautiful country).
I think what it comes down to is that they didn’t or perhaps couldn’t utilize fully what they had. There were hardly any stoner related jokes or gags and one would expect that to be prevalent. Although it was quite funny in parts it always felt like there was just a little something missing. Which is really too bad because I wanted to love this movie and just ended up liking it. I give it 3 and a half beers.
Starring: Emily Browning, Abbey Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino & Oscar Isaac
Directed by: Zach Snyder
Written by: Zach Snyder & Steve Shibuya based on a story by Zach Snyder
Zach Snyder is a director that is probably best known for his visual flair. His groundbreaking work in 300, his beautifully realized (whether you liked the actual film or not) version of Watchmen, these are what people have come to expect from Snyder. Even his earliest feature, the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead showed that he was a director with a vision.
However his greatest strength is also his biggest weakness. Snyder is so focused on the visual spectacle that the story gets muddled and lost on the way to its ultimate realization. In the past when he was doing a remake or working with someone else’s material this wasn’t as noticeable. And ultimately he still pulled it off. However Sucker Punch is an entirely original film written by Snyder. And in this case that lack of focus or attention to story, plot & characterization is glaring.
It’s really no mystery at this point what Sucker Punch is about. The studio promoted the hell out of this thing. With a price tag of around $82 million not including marketing costs they had to. So I don’t think I give anything away here by recapping briefly (though there may be some mild spoilers, you are forewarned). “Baby Doll”(Browning) is sent to a mental institution. In there she meets fellow in mates “Sweat Pea”(Cornish), “Rocket”(Malone), “Blondie”(Hudgens) & “Amber”(Chung). The hospital is run through a combination of Dr. Vera Gorski(Gugina) and head lackey/orderly Blue Jones(Isaac).
Baby Doll, who’s got a limited amount of time sort of conjures up in her mind a dreamworld where she gets a quest to free herself from the asylum. Like in the trailer we’re told she needs a map, fire, a knife, a key and some other mystery object.
The majority of the rest of the film as shown in the previews is about Baby Doll and gang trying to procure those items through her warped vision of reality. What’s actually going on back in the asylum is anyone’s guess because we don’t even see it again till the film is almost over. This is part of the problem.
I understand that films want to have “layers” of dreams or subconscious. I mean hell it worked for Inception(at least I thought it did) so why not here. We spend much more time in that “second layer” the first layer being reality. In the second layer none of them are in an insane asylum, but rather in some strange burlesque/prostitution club. It’s through this layer that we get to the third layer which in this case is all the stuff you saw in the preview with dragons and weird steampunk zombie Nazis(which is kind of funny only because I had watched Dead Snow the night before for the first time) etc.
It all looks quite frankly for the most part pretty awesome. The action sequences are fast paced adrenaline pumping scenes. You see some really cool stuff that is very visually impressive. And you only stop and scratch your head a little bit wondering why exactly these 5 women are fighting all these things scantily clad in school girl outfits and other garb better suited for a fetish video than the alleged ass kicking they are handing out.
And then it really hits you. Because while you’re distracted by all the visual fireworks you’re not really thinking. Then wham you get sucker punched. The movie doesn’t really make any fucking sense whatsoever.
I’m sure Snyder had the best of intentions going into this. He just didn’t think things through. The idea is that Baby Doll is supposed to be getting “empowered” when she sets herself free in her mind and through that she can somehow free herself from the physical prison she’s in. What? How the hell is hallucinating your way through a smorgasbord of fanboy wet dreams equal freeing yourself? Are we to believe that Baby Doll is empowering and freeing herself by imagining herself slicing things with a katana in a school girl outfit? The very idea of it is preposterous. .
Like all good morality tales(and this kind sorta tries to be one) there is a lesson to be learned here. That lesson is apparently that Zach Snyder needs to stick to directing other people’s material. Because when it’s his own material we get flat emotionless acting, horrible dialogue and of course to hammer the same nail again an essentially incomprehensible plot. Of course wrapped up really really nice. Oh and sorry folks Jon Hamm is in the film all of five minutes; if you were going to see him, don’t.
Sucker Punch is a beautiful mess. I can’t say I’m anything less than impressed with the visuals, they are stunning and if that’s enough for you than go see it. If you’re looking for anything more save your money and see something else. I give it two beers.
Hi all. Your neighborly cinephile dragon Vermithrax here. So I was thinking today and had an idea. What if I reviewed forth coming movies before they are released based solely on their movie posters? Sure it may have nothing to do with the actual movie themselves. But who cares! And then I’ll most likely see one of said movies the following weekend and report whether or not my foresight and insights proved to be accurate. Sound good? Oh, and I’m going to try to limit it to mostly major wide releases unless there is a particularly interesting looking poster I can’t resist commenting on.
So this upcoming weekend there are two major releases. They are Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrik Rules and Sucker Punch. Let’s start with the wimp shall we?
Judging by the title I’m going to assume this film is about a kid that is a wimp. Brilliant deduction I know. And I think it’s also safe to assume that the poor child has a diary where he sobbingly records the accounts of the bullying he faces at school. Heartbreaking. Now both of the kids on this poster have cartoon stick figure drawings growing out of there shadow. I think by this being present the only safe and logical assumption is that there is some point where the two kids get sucked into the pages of a comic book. Whilst there they are chased by strange men in helmets wielding wrenches and rescued by a European in a striped shirt. Much like the Aha video for “Take On Me”. What other possible reason could there be for the cartoon images?
I also see that the taller one is wearing a shirt that appears to say loded diper. I’m not sure what exactly that means. Maybe however it is implying that the poor lad in fact is wearing a loaded diaper and the shirt is his cry for help. As if being beaten by his peers at school isn’t bad enough no one will change his diaper. No sign as to who the devil this Rodrik fellow is though. Probably not important anyway. Now onto Suckerpunch.
Well there is certainly a lot going on here. Wait a second. There’s a dragon chasing a plane. Hold on a tick. There is dragon I see on there?!?! THERE IS! I don’t know who that is but I may have to seriously consider killing him… But I digress. Apparently Suckerpunch is a porn. Scratch that, I’m being told it is in fact a comic book movie and one may merely surmise that it is a porn. My mistake. One would think they intentional are using sex appeal to sell this movie to teenage boys and… Oh… Gotcha. However this film clearly has something to do with 5 attractive young women whom are mostly blonde and white. Some like dressing in sexy pseudo military garb, some in a “sexy school girl” outfit and some in well I don’t know what the hell they’re wearing but clearly it is the “sexy” version. One of them has a delightful little hat on too! There are also toting a variety of very dangerous weapons. As such I think it is safe to assume that this is not a movie about 5 female friends spending the day shopping at the mall. There goes my dream of a more updated version of Clueless…
There are a large number of people in the background rushing in their general direction. Given that the 5 women do seem attractive perhaps they have all those weapons to keep away their hordes of admirers? But why would they have the horde? Perhaps they are in fact a 5 piece pop band with a really clever getup arranged by a marketing team with the end goal of selling action figures to children? That seems the most probable. Now finally what exactly is that giant robot thing? And is that a bunny painted on it??? A very angry looking bunny too might I add. What exactly a pissed off bunny has to do with a giant metal machine is completely beyond me. One thing is certain though. The poster tells me I will be unprepared. Given how confused I am right now I think they hit that nail right on the head.
Well that’s it for now. Based on the options presented I can in good conscious only elect to see Suckerpunch. Sorry wimpy kid. Oh well at least the film isn’t called Donkeypunch. Now that would have been awkward… So look for my review of Suckerpunch sometime soon!
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kristen Wiig, Jason Batemen and Seth Rogan
Directed by: Greg Mottola
Written by: Nick Frost, Simon Pegg
First of all let me say hello to you toothpicks (that is my nickname for humans). My name is Vermithrax Pejorative and I am a dragon. I am also a fan of movies (particularly ones with dragons in them). Given that I am exceptionally intelligent (as all dragons are), I have decided to share with you my thoughts on the movies that I watch. Why should you care what I have to say? Simple, did I not mention that I am a fucking dragon? I can eat you. I can burn you to a crisp. Need I have any other reason beyond that? I thought not.
I am also a dragon that is very fond of alcohol. That is how I will rate the movies I watch. What does that mean exactly? Say I sit down with a six pack of beer. If a movie is truly awful I will only watch it long enough to finish one or no beers. Where as if the film is exceptional then I would likely finish the entire six pack before I get back to terrifying ignorant peasants. Simple no? So without further ado here is the review.
I am an unabashed fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. The British comedy duo introduced to most of us state side through the exceptional 2004 film Shaun of the Dead have never failed to deliver when their forces are combined. This is the duo’s third film collaboration which also includes the hilarious Hot Fuzz. However unlike the previous two which were directed by their long time friend Edgar Wright, Paul was directed by the new to them but equally talented Greg Mottola.
Paul is at its essence a science fiction movie. But much like in their previous two films it takes a conventional genre and puts a spin on it. The spin on this is that the story is set to the pacing of a road movie. And it works. Essentially Paul is the story of two friends from England that come to America on their dream vacation to attend San Diego Comic Con and then travel across the American southwest visiting sites related to aliens and UFOs. Then when they meet the titular Paul they are dragged into his adventure of trying to make it back home while being pursued by government forces. And of course problems and complications arise on the way.
Paul is a movie that gets the majority of things right. Pegg and Frost are very natural working together and have not only an excellent chemistry on screen but work off of each others comedic timing perfectly. Their characters friendship is the heart of the story.
Then of course there is Paul himself. When you have a live action movie that involves a CGI character as one of the main components it doesn’t always work particularly well. This is the area I was most concerned about going into the film. There are just so many ways to do this wrong. Fortunately between the script and Mottola’s direction they delivered something that was neither cliche or absurd. Paul does do some absurd things along the way, but he is a genuine character who possesses the sort of depth one would expect from a major character in a film. Paul is of course voiced by the always funny Seth Rogen and honestly that does make a difference.
In addition there is great supporting work. Kristen Wiig is really entertaining as the proverbial “bible thumper” who comes along for the ride. Jason Bateman also shines as a government agent who is tracking Paul. When freed from the shackles of having to be a romantic comedy lead Bateman is able to remind us that he can in fact be as funny now as he was in the days of Arrested Development. Bill Hader who has appeared in the most recent trio of Mottola’s films is always solid in a supporting role and this is no exception.
And Mottola himself to me delivers another solid film. Tackling very different territory than his last two features, Superbad & Adventureland, he shows that he is just as solid directing a more adult (and I use that term very loosely) cast and action oriented script.
All of that aside though the number one thing that I enjoyed about Paul is that it’s a love letter. In that I mean Pegg and Frost have used this platform to create a loving living tribute to the science fiction that they grew up on and helped form them into the dynamic geek duo that they are today. I won’t spoil any of it for you, but there are many references and shout outs to some of the best sci fi films of the past. And only fans would be able to spot most of them.
That very fact may seem to alienate a more mainstream audience at first glance. However Paul manages to keep the story and humor accessible enough that all the references and tributes just add an extra something without being distracting or unrelatable to an audience.
Paul is a film that deserves to have a wider audience than it likely will. But unfortunately this sort of film tends to be a hard sell. I only hope positive word of mouth will help keep it afloat. For anyone that is a fan of sci-fi, Pegg and Frost or a clever different comedy this one is a must see. I give it five and a half beers.
