Hillary Rodham Clinton surprised the political world by announcing today that she is running for president in 2016. Her announcement was quietly low key, probably because her decision to run was such a surprising spur-of-the-moment thing, leaving her no time to plan the traditional flag-bedecked rally. Continue reading
Humor
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The number of official 2016 presidential candidates doubled Tuesday when Kentucky senator Rand Paul announced he will challenge Canadian Ted Cruz for the GOP nomination. At CornCon in Des Moines, Iowa, Paul drove his ethanol-powered sportscar, Goldbug, onto the floor of cavernous Hall D of the Polk County Civic Center, emerging to thunderous applause to the crowd of Star Trek cosplayers and hangers-on who were actually expecting George Takei and whatshisname from Star Trek: Voyager. Continue reading
House of Cards is perhaps the most popular reboot of an ancient failed TV show since the 2009 movie version of Star Trek. Let’s look back at the trippy oddball period piece that inspired the Netflix hit, the 1975 ABC series that was based on Rex Jackson’s novels about ruthless politician Frank Underwood. Continue reading
Eccentric Canadian citizen Rafael “Ted” Cruz announced he will run for the Presidency of the United States. Cruz, who was born in a foreign country and is as ineligible to hold the office of president as say, Fidel Castro or Mitt Romney’s dad, is much-beloved by as much as 4% of the GOP electorate, and is expected to be a serious contender for the GOP nomination until actual primaries begin and real votes are cast. Cruz, a Canadian, represents Texas, the place he lives now, not Canada, the foreign land of his birth, in the US senate. Continue reading
The 2016 presidential race has claimed it’s first casualty (if you don’t count Paul Ryan, which, of course, I’m not). Willard Jackassticus Lannister Romney, Lord of the Robo-men and professional collector of electoral defeats, erstwhile Lord Protector of the Olympics and governor of a state he will not name, has decided not to compete for Nixon Crown of Double Nomination and seek the 2016 GOP nomination.
On Friday, Romney emerged from the Hall of Audiences in Castle Romney, his mountain fastness hewn from the very living rock high in the Utah Alps. Surrounded by House Romney retainers, with a light snow dusting their aluminum battle armor, Romney addressed a small surprised crowd of freshman journalism majors from Utah Alps Community College who were there filming a documentary no one would watch for a class they all bitterly regretted taking. He mounted the rostrum where the father of his organic components, George Romney, had once announced that he would challenge thrice-damned dark mage Richard Nixon for the 1968 GOP nomination. “My friends!” he shouted, though truthfully, no one there was his friend. “I shall not be your president!” he cried, as though everyone had not already known this for several years. Continue reading
Sure, the corpses of the fallen in the 2014 election are scarce cold in their political graves, but hey, the Iowa caucuses are a mere 53 weeks away. 2016 is coming! On the Democratic side, it’s still not clear which obscure weirdo Hillary Clinton will blow her prohibitive lead to, but the Republican side is shaping up to be quite the busy clown orgy. Let’s gaze in dismay at this gabbling horror of potential GOP 2016 candidates! Continue reading
Face it, you end up doing something on New Year’s Eve. Some options are better than others. Here’s your not-at-all-official-made-up-on-the-fly ranking of New Year’s Eve activities. From best to worst. Continue reading
Eric Holder stunned the political world–or at least people who didn’t hear him last year say that he would leave this year–when he resigned Thursday. In a moving, tearful resignation speech, Holder thanked Obama, called Texas congressman Louie Gohmert an asshole, and announced he was leaving the law and returning to his first love: musical theater. Variety reports that Holder is in talks to play Det. Harris in the Broadway musical production of Barney Miller. President Obama wept openly, because he, too, loves Barney Miller so very much.
So now, Eric Holder belongs to the ages. Let’s look back at attorneys general throughout history, and see how Eric Holder stacks up. Continue reading
So, there’s a new season of Dr. Who, the decades-long BBC series aimed at delighting simple children and providing marginal employment to barely-employable minor Shakespearean character-actors. As surly Scottish grumpus Peter Capaldi takes over the role, let’s look back at some of the other unfortunates who have played this time-traveling weirdo. Continue reading
I knew it was going to happen.
The minute a lawyer passes the bar exam, she becomes, in the eyes of her family members, a veritable Walking Encyclopedia of The Law, ready and willing to answer all legal questions and come forth with Legal Knowledge™ at the drop of the hat.
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