Humor – Page 2 – Crasstalk

Iowa Has Spoken! Your Iowa Caucus Results Part 2: The Republicans

The Over-Pig decides! Ted Cruz will receive the Corn Scepter!

Iowa has spoken! Ted Cruz has bathed in the sacred ethanol and been annointed by Iowa’s pig-men. Let’s commence with the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Continue reading →

Iowa Has Spoken! Your Iowa Caucus Results, Part 1: The Democrats

The magical process of presidential sausage making has begun! Let’s look at the results of the Iowa caucus. Continue reading →

GOP Debate Open Thread 2016

Here it is, the last GOP debate hellfest before the Iowa Over-pig anoints a caucus champion. Will grotesque claymation Christmas special-villain Donald Trump show up? See Ted Cruz, the world’s most despised Canadian! Chortle at JC Penney’s Boys’ Department empty suit Marco Rubio! Gaze in sorrow at sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush! Yell back at hateful yell-beast Chris Christie! You can watch it on Fox News at 9:00 PM with your crazy uncle or stream it here. Continue reading →

QOTD: What Was Your Worst Job?

Summer jobs are notorious for being horrid. This post is brought to you by ManchuCandidate who actually survived as a Kirby Vacuum cleaner door-to-door salesman for an entire month. Here is the story in all its horror: Continue reading →

Victorian Sarah Chrisman: 14 Reasons Her Husband Gabriel Should Be Launched into the Sun

I have so many things to say about Sarah Chrisman’s book, Victorian Secrets: What a Corset Taught Me about the Past, the Present, and Myself. I have serious, non-snarky things to say that concern Sarah and the corset. I worry about her body image and how she approaches the corset as a solution to a life-long struggle with what she perceives as a serious weight problem.

However, I cannot go further without addressing her husband Gabriel. Much like this writer, I have developed strong feelings about Gabriel and they are not positive. I must share them and get them out of my system. Continue reading →

Victorian Sarah Chrisman: Living La Vida Corset Part 1

You may remember Sarah Chrisman from her column on Vox last week about her quest to live an authentic Victorian lifestyle. Because I am attracted to all things bizarre, I immediately stalked her website and found out that she’s written three books. I checked out book “Victorian Secrets: What a Corset Taught Me about the Past, the Present and Myself.” Continue reading →

Farewell, Scott Walker

Koch Industries Resource Extraction Specialist and part-time Wisconsin governor Scott Walker took the last train to Pawlentyville and exited the presidential race on Monday. Continue reading →

GOP Debate/Under Card/Jon Stewart Live Blog

It’s all in one place tonight. Join is for for an evening of the kind of laughter that only the doomed truly understand. This is our future.

Here’s a link to the stream. Don’t download the spammy flash player from the pop up just click Close Ad at the bottom of the box. Continue reading →

Three More GOP Candidates Enter the Clown Car

Where once there was only Canadian man-monster Ted Cruz shrieking gibberish into the diners and tractor showrooms of Iowa, now there are dozens of deluded GOP has-beens and never-wills gabbling and honking across the Iowa countryside, demanding to be taken seriously as presidential candidates. Today, three more clowns entered the clown car. Carly Fiorina, who gained valuable executive experience driving HP into the ground, and not-right-in-the-head neurosurgeon Ben Carson announced that they, too, plan to waste a shitload of other people’s money in a pointless run for the presidency. Gravy-scented professional yokel Gov. Mike Huckabee announced he’s also going to run. Continue reading →

Special Relativity: Starts with a Bang (Almost!)

What do you do when you’re on the brink of destroying the universe and realize you’ve made the worst decision ever? Hold onto your hat, we’ll come back to that. Continue reading →