The sun has set on wee Marco Rubio, part-time Florida senator. After a savage pummeling by cartoon-villain Donald Trump, wee Marco will not be president. Continue reading
GOP 2016
14 posts
Panic in Detroit! Enjoy the latest GOP debate hellfest! See America’s Most Hated Canadian pummel the Great Orange Monster with his soft little fists! Watch the wee Boy Senator make poopy face! Hear homespun bullshit from that other guy! Mourn the absence of the smooooth soft jazz stylings of Dr Ambien! Starts at 9:00 Eastern on Fox News. You can live stream it here. Continue reading
Behold, the final GOP debate before Super Tuesday, where young Marco Rubio is poised to win more participation trophies! See the Amazing Sweating Boy! Gawk at the World’s Most Despised Canadian! Despair at the jackass who will most likely be the nominee! Oh, and the governor of Ohio and some somnambulant doctor will also be there. It’s on CNN at 8:30 PM Eastern. You can livestream it here.
America doesn’t deserve another Bush presidency. Sad deflated balloon animal Jeb Bush is dropping out of the presidential race. Continue reading
New Jersey governor and gravitational phenomenon Chris Christie has taken the cannolis and left the presidential race after coming in a disappointing thirty-second place in the New Hampshire primary. Continue reading
Iowa has spoken! Ted Cruz has bathed in the sacred ethanol and been annointed by Iowa’s pig-men. Let’s commence with the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Continue reading
The magical process of presidential sausage making has begun! Let’s look at the results of the Iowa caucus. Continue reading
Here it is, the last GOP debate hellfest before the Iowa Over-pig anoints a caucus champion. Will grotesque claymation Christmas special-villain Donald Trump show up? See Ted Cruz, the world’s most despised Canadian! Chortle at JC Penney’s Boys’ Department empty suit Marco Rubio! Gaze in sorrow at sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush! Yell back at hateful yell-beast Chris Christie! You can watch it on Fox News at 9:00 PM with your crazy uncle or stream it here. Continue reading
The hucksters, has-beens, never-was-es, and other assorted homunculi who make up the GOP presidential primary circus are gathering tonight in Las Vegas for another debate. Which of the tiny people will dare assault towering front-runner/cartoon villain Donald Trump? Buttery-soft Canadian Ted Cruz? Empty JC Penney’s Boy’s Collection suit and part-time senator Marco Rubio? What about fading shell-of-a-man John Ellis Bush? Will he land any blows with his soft little aristocratic fists? Oh, and the fat dude, the crazy doctor, and the mean lady will also be there. Join as we gaze in wonder at the whackadoodle spewing from their pie holes! You can enjoy the horror show here at CNN at 8:30 PM.
Koch Industries Resource Extraction Specialist and part-time Wisconsin governor Scott Walker took the last train to Pawlentyville and exited the presidential race on Monday. Continue reading