Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Did Home Schooling Contribute to the Murder of Christian Choate?

The answer seems to be pretty darn easy. After reading the horrible story about the death of Christian Choate, the thirteen year old who was beaten to death by his father and spent most of his time locked in a dog cage, I wondered just how easy it is to home-school a child.

Christian’s stepmother, Kimberly Kubina, took her stepson out of school reporting that he was to be home-schooled, but after what unfolded in the household, it seems quite evident that the real reason behind the move was to cover up ongoing abuse.

Speaking as a former teacher, one of the first bits of instruction you learn is how to identify potential abuse in the homes of your students. You’re told to look for obvious bruises especially around report card and parent teacher conference time. You’re also instructed to look for odd behavior, acting out, withdrawal, and copious sleeping in class amongst myriad other things, and if suspected, to tell your school’s response team immediately. However, this only works if you can witness and interact with students. There is some leeway for students who are enrolled, but suddenly go missing. You can then send a truancy officer to their address to find out what the story is, but when a student is home-schooled there are literally no options. Continue reading →

Whose Shtick Do You Hate?

You know when you’re just minding your own business watching some perfectly good nonsense on television, or listening to much the same on the radio and then some gimmick-laden, shtick-y shtickster appears out of nowhere and involuntarily you’re overcome by a massive eyeroll, coupled with an active gag reflex, mixed with an inner scream – the kind that can only be caused by a thousand fire ants moving up your thigh?

Yeah, these are the people responsible for my current jackass allergy.

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SYTYCD Results Show Recap: I Wanna Live Forever!

Well, we knew it was coming. The dreaded double elimination. It just seems like yesterday the kids made it to the show from Vegas week. And now for four of them it will all be over; off to relative obscurity for you. It’s kind of like what happens, uh, well, when you win the show. So maybe it won’t be so bad! Obscurity can be awesome, right? Well, no. But at least drinking Gatorade can return to being a private experience again.

So who will we lose tonight?

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SYTYCD Recap: A Little Birdy Named Debbie

We’d like to think that there’s no “Wayward Home for Abandoned Dancers” but if there ever had to be one, it quite possibly may be the Hollywood home of a movie icon. There at the WHFAD you’d receive three square meals, tutoring in a private ballroom, and stretch limo chauffeur service with your own personal driver, among other activities. Be sure to read the fine print, kids. Don’t you want to sponsor an Abandoned Dancer today? Call 1-800-REAL-LIFE-HANSEL-GRETEL

Wadi and five others are on the phone lines now. Please call.

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How Did Keith Olbermann Do?

Monday night was the much anticipated return of comically egotistical, liberal blowhard Keith Olbermann. After much ballyhoo earlier this year that left MSNBC’s shouting mouthpiece out of a job amid copious rumors about campaign donations and other Gestapo tactics from the prolific sportscaster — now that he’s returned to his original time slot, but with a new home sponsored by none other than internet and manbearpig founder, Al Gore — was his return everything you hoped for? Continue reading →

10 Cringeworthy Movies You Know You Love

So it’s a Sunday afternoon and nothing is on. Well, that’s not true. Something is on…and that something is shameful and awful, but you know secretly deep down in places you won’t talk about at parties, you’ll watch at least ten minutes if not the whole thing, perhaps in the dark, perhaps in your basement, perhaps when everyone else in your household is shopping at Target. You and your remote alone will know what awful shenanigans you’ve been up to.

It’s confession time. Continue reading →

Game of Thrones Recap: The Trouble With Mercy

So how do you end the first season of a show that is shaping up to be the next biggest thing in HBO history? Well, you have to do it justice. You also have to remind the audience that there is more than a little bit of magic and mayhem at play if you’re talking about the Game of Thrones. And with a show this jam packed with honor, family, death, and life you’d better just remember how the show started and to expect the unexpected.

The Game of Thrones: Endgame.

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SYTYCD Results Show Recap: Stayin’ Alive

It’s time for our first week of eliminations. Which performances weren’t quite up to snuff? This is going to be a hard decision since this year’s crop of dancers are some of the best we’ve seen. And this week, while some of the performances were a bit lukewarm, the talent of the dancers undoubtedly showed underneath.

We can already tell this season’s results shows will be painful. So let’s get started shall we? Bring the pain.
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SYTYCD Recap: Sexy Beasts and the Guys they Danced With

I’m thinking perhaps Nigel has been reading too much Stephenie Meyer. Why all the fascination with “beasts,” Nigel? Last night this was his go-to word to describe any and all female dancers performing. We get the impression that if these ladies don’t appear on stage growling and clawing at the moon, Nigel will be sorely disappointed. Those of us who were less concerned with dancing lycanthropy were excited for the return of one of the best competition shows on television.

Let’s dance, let’s shout, and shake our bodies down to the ground.

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