SYTYCD Results Show Recap: Stayin’ Alive

It’s time for our first week of eliminations. Which performances weren’t quite up to snuff? This is going to be a hard decision since this year’s crop of dancers are some of the best we’ve seen. And this week, while some of the performances were a bit lukewarm, the talent of the dancers undoubtedly showed underneath.

We can already tell this season’s results shows will be painful. So let’s get started shall we? Bring the pain.

In the first official group performance of the season we’re introduced to M.I.A’s XR2, which I must admit is a hot song, I‘ve long thought so. Her infusion of Baltimore Club beats and down, dirty rhythms is a winning combination and more than suited the fierce-osity of the costumes, black garters, canes, and some other pantaloons stolen from the Matrix set. It was a little bit Gaga, a little bit Fosse, and very funky. It wasn’t Rammalamma spectacular, but it was engaging enough. Just who was the choreographer of All That Gaga? Sonya Tayeh. Okay, fine, yes, Sonya. I’d like to see more of this please and less “My Power is Thrust Upon You From My Balled Fists and Womanly Loins.”

After the M.I.A. explosion, out comes Cat who looks a bit like a Polly Pocket in her pastel pink frock. We’ve seen you in better, Cat. This is actually pretty plain for you. Saving the sparkly green Christmas tree skirt for the performance episodes, eh?

We find out that Mitchell is automatically in the bottom since he didn’t perform, and he along with three other couples will dance for their lives tonight. Wow, I kinda thought it would just be Mitchell and two other guys, not three others. Gangster, SYTYCD. We also get to check in with the judges who seem really excited about this National Dance Day and believe that everyone will go to the website and study those dance moves and perform flash mob assaults all around cities in your area. To that I say, “No, no one will do this, and stop trying to make random flash mobs a thing, Nigel.” Give money to support the arts in schools, folks, but flash mobs only sound like a good idea on television where people are marginally talented. Take your boom boxes and bad synchronization and beat it.

We also find out that Lady Gaga will more than likely be a guest judge later in the season, after we view a picture of La Gags rubbing her hatched egg palm on Nigel’s can a.k.a things we’d like to unsee.

On to the results:

But before we get to the results, I’d like to introduce a special new feature in the SYTYCD Results Show Recap. It’s called, What is Iveta Wearing Tonight?

Iveta, who we believe has an entire closet full of performance wear from the late 1970’s, looks like she’ll provide an excellent fashion education for us viewers at home. Tonight we’ve got a one piece cheetah print leotard and cheetah shoes with a rhinestone belt and matching wristlets. She’s like an animal printed Wonder Woman! Or a Bedazzled Lion Tamer! It’s either a cheetah nightmare or cheetah awesome!


Lastly, we’re down to Clarice and Jess, Caitlynn who’s up there alone since Mitchell is already in the bottom, Ryan and Ricky, Miranda and Robert, and Sasha and Alexander. For Clarice and Jess, Broadway is a bit tough for voters, but the performance was strong and entertaining. Despite a talented showing they land in the bottom. Caitlynn, perhaps because of the sympathy vote, is safe.  For Ryan and Ricky one wonders if that strange full smile and even stranger explanation turned off America? This time no, but perhaps Ryan learned a bit of a lesson about facial expressions. What about Sasha and Alexander? America’s crazy if these two, also choreographed by Travis Wall, end up in the bottom. They’re safe. So that leaves Miranda and Robert. Including some challenges in the technique department, for obvious reasons Robert is my choice for elimination, Woo-hoo. They land in the bottom also.

Results Show Performances: Well, that’s interesting. SYTYCD discusses a past performance that didn’t go well and where they basically insulted an entire culture of dance. It was the GoPak that was danced by Philip and Janine in season five. Nigel says that it needed a lot of Vodka to go with it. HA! Let’s insult an entire nation why don’t we?! Hilarious. Okay, so now that we feel bad let’s bring on someone who can really GoPak the Pak out of that dance! And he does. In effectually a performance of “One Lord A Leaping” Gennadi Saveliev does his best to redeem the show. The other performance is given by a lip-synching while gyrating in a chain mail skort Keri Hilson. I’m going to say that I don’t get it. She’s not really moving much nor is she singing live…so this kind of defeats the purpose of appearing on a live dance show, yes? Not saying that she should be doing backflips, but color me unimpressed with this performance.

Solo Time!:

Who Should Have Gone Home:

Judging from the solo, Robert had the weakest performance, but he was able to perform his Jive on Wednesday night, where Mitchell was not. Either way it’s a conundrum, so I agree with the judge’s decision to let them all dance again next week, even though I think Robert is probably already marked for elimination unless something major happens next week.

What do you think? Who should have gone home?

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