It’s time for our first week of eliminations. Which performances weren’t quite up to snuff? This is going to be a hard decision since this year’s crop of dancers are some of the best we’ve seen. And this week, while some of the performances were a bit lukewarm, the talent of the dancers undoubtedly showed underneath.
We can already tell this season’s results shows will be painful. So let’s get started shall we? Bring the pain.
In the first official group performance of the season we’re introduced to M.I.A’s XR2, which I must admit is a hot song, I‘ve long thought so. Her infusion of Baltimore Club beats and down, dirty rhythms is a winning combination and more than suited the fierce-osity of the costumes, black garters, canes, and some other pantaloons stolen from the Matrix set. It was a little bit Gaga, a little bit Fosse, and very funky. It wasn’t Rammalamma spectacular, but it was engaging enough. Just who was the choreographer of All That Gaga? Sonya Tayeh. Okay, fine, yes, Sonya. I’d like to see more of this please and less “My Power is Thrust Upon You From My Balled Fists and Womanly Loins.”
After the M.I.A. explosion, out comes Cat who looks a bit like a Polly Pocket in her pastel pink frock. We’ve seen you in better, Cat. This is actually pretty plain for you. Saving the sparkly green Christmas tree skirt for the performance episodes, eh?
We find out that Mitchell is automatically in the bottom since he didn’t perform, and he along with three other couples will dance for their lives tonight. Wow, I kinda thought it would just be Mitchell and two other guys, not three others. Gangster, SYTYCD. We also get to check in with the judges who seem really excited about this National Dance Day and believe that everyone will go to the website and study those dance moves and perform flash mob assaults all around cities in your area. To that I say, “No, no one will do this, and stop trying to make random flash mobs a thing, Nigel.” Give money to support the arts in schools, folks, but flash mobs only sound like a good idea on television where people are marginally talented. Take your boom boxes and bad synchronization and beat it.
We also find out that Lady Gaga will more than likely be a guest judge later in the season, after we view a picture of La Gags rubbing her hatched egg palm on Nigel’s can a.k.a things we’d like to unsee.
On to the results:
But before we get to the results, I’d like to introduce a special new feature in the SYTYCD Results Show Recap. It’s called, What is Iveta Wearing Tonight?
Iveta, who we believe has an entire closet full of performance wear from the late 1970’s, looks like she’ll provide an excellent fashion education for us viewers at home. Tonight we’ve got a one piece cheetah print leotard and cheetah shoes with a rhinestone belt and matching wristlets. She’s like an animal printed Wonder Woman! Or a Bedazzled Lion Tamer! It’s either a cheetah nightmare or cheetah awesome!
In the next group we begin with Ashley and Chris who had the weakest performance of the night. The expectation is that one of these two, possibly Chris, will end up in the bottom, but they make it. Hip-hop resonates with a young demographic who tend to pick up the phones. Next up are Jordan and Tadd. Their Afro Jazz routine was pretty solid. There were no complaints, but they opened the show and could have been forgotten…and it looks like that may be the case. They’re in the bottom three.
Results Show Performances: Well, that’s interesting. SYTYCD discusses a past performance that didn’t go well and where they basically insulted an entire culture of dance. It was the GoPak that was danced by Philip and Janine in season five. Nigel says that it needed a lot of Vodka to go with it. HA! Let’s insult an entire nation why don’t we?! Hilarious. Okay, so now that we feel bad let’s bring on someone who can really GoPak the Pak out of that dance! And he does. In effectually a performance of “One Lord A Leaping” Gennadi Saveliev does his best to redeem the show. The other performance is given by a lip-synching while gyrating in a chain mail skort Keri Hilson. I’m going to say that I don’t get it. She’s not really moving much nor is she singing live…so this kind of defeats the purpose of appearing on a live dance show, yes? Not saying that she should be doing backflips, but color me unimpressed with this performance.
Solo Time!:
Did you hear? Lady Gaga will be on the show! Lady Gaga? Yes, Lady Gaga. Of the New York Gagas? Yes, that would be the one.
If you can’t tell, Spirit is over it. SYTYCD debuted Gags-a-Madge’s new video The Edge of Glory.
Yes, right. Most female performers from Blondie to Madonna, to Pat Benatar, and the lead singers of Berlin and Scandal should be looking for a royalty check, and that’s all I’m going to say about that, and then Fox cuts it off before it ends. Nice. They agree.
Who Goes Home Tonight?
Unprecedented happenings! The judges can’t make a decision…and they’re asking two of the guys to dance again. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. Everyone is shocked and flustered. Mitchell and Robert are going to dance again. In no time Cat takes control and directs people off the stage and makes sure there’s music. Robert goes first and redoes his Popping thing. And once again Mitchell, albeit sweat stains, was graceful and emotional in his dance, and it looks like he has good arm movement.
Nigel heaps praise on all the girls and you can tell he’s a bit distressed, but then he asks for all the guys to return to the stage and out from the bottom of a shot glass we hear Megan/Karen say it’s her fault. Of course it is, Karen. Even Cat is dying from the suspense and the quickly creeping clock that is nearing the 9:00 hour so very closely. All the guys take the stage again. Nigel says he doesn’t know why Jess is there, and is equally baffled by Tadd’s being in the bottom also. And then he says the unexpected (well, not totally) NO ONE IS GOING HOME THIS WEEK. And the kids go wild, there’s crying and cheering, the rest of the dancers rush the stage to hug their saved comrades, and their joy is infectious. They don’t even care that Nigel is saying that two will go home the following week…they’re just happy for a chance to dance again. Sniff. Cat is visibly choked up and we know that this is going to be an emotional season. Oh, I love this show.
Who Should Have Gone Home:
Judging from the solo, Robert had the weakest performance, but he was able to perform his Jive on Wednesday night, where Mitchell was not. Either way it’s a conundrum, so I agree with the judge’s decision to let them all dance again next week, even though I think Robert is probably already marked for elimination unless something major happens next week.
What do you think? Who should have gone home?