Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Note to Michele Bachmann…Endorsing Slavery Is Not the Way to Win the Presidency

You would think this is pretty much a no-brainer…well, you would be wrong. Michele Bachmann seems to think that the institution of slavery is just where she should rest her presidency-seeking laurels…endorsing it, creating make believe people who fought to end it, you know, just all around bastardizing American History and offending a large part of the nation with racist statements and all around stupidity. Yes, indeed, this is the way to win votes in this country. Let’s discuss the tenets of slavery…erroneously! Continue reading →

Geoducks Coming Soon to Red Lobster?

I’d like to think that I have a very middle-of-the road palate. And by middle-of-the-road I mean not eating a lot of outrageous stuff like Sardinian maggot cheese or various forms of Cheetos (bar-b-que, ranch, honey mustard et al). Yes, I like my gourmand stuff mixed in with more pedestrian offerings. Think goat cheese and pears with pasta in a balsamic reduction, or an awesome bacon, egg and cheese from the deli on 5th Avenue and 16th Street in NYC… things like this, you know, foodie-lite if you will. But every now and then you come across something that just baffles the mind, and like a kid, once again you can’t get beyond what something looks like, even if it tastes amazing.

I offer you the Geoduck. Continue reading →

Despite Best Efforts Palin Plays Coy Uselessly

Are we all naive enough to believe that Palin doesn’t think that she’ll be the Republican white night riding in at the last minute to save the day? I think we’re fairly certain that Sarah Palin believes that all these other jokers littering up the field are just there to be her opening act, and that once all the squabbling begins and the race just looks like a bunch of loons held together by Mittens Romneypants and Michele BachmannGooglyEyes (slavery endorser) the Zeus and Hera of all stupid things, this is when she’ll emerge like a Bumpit-haired buzzard dressed in a Starfleet jacket waiting to pick the bones of the GOP carcass. We do think this will happen despite her latest interview in Newsweek magazine don’t we?

Continue reading →

NBC Unveils The Fall Schedule You’ve All Been Waiting For

Oh, hello. What’s that? You were wondering what that fantastic network NBC has in store for you this fall? Well, I’m sure we’ve discussed what old, tired, whatever new shows they’ve got planned for our viewing pleasure. However, in news that’s just been released, we now know when exactly all these new shows will be shown on your ratty old floor model color television.

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SYTYCD Results Show Quick-Cap: Taking Center Stage

Okay, my lovelies. Yes, I think it’s okay to start talking like Cat Deeley if I’m discussing this show. Don’t like? Well, then that’s just bollocks! No? Okay, anyway, here we are at another elimination. It’s getting really hard, right? These kids are really starting to grow on us. Sure, we have our annoyances, but they all really want to be on the show so very much!

Let’s see who’s taking a bow tonight.

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A Year’s Worth of Makeup in One Day

Ever wondered what it would be like if you put a year’s worth of makeup on in one day? No? Well, whatever, this site wants to show you. For some odd reason the Nowness website (Get it? Things that are happening immediately hence the ness attached to now. Yes, we believe this is a “Fetch” situation) thinks that you should be in awe of what they can do with seven bottles of foundation and a myriad other things they list here.

Take a gander. Continue reading →

SYTYCD Recap: Kisses, Buckness, and other Silly Things

Well, this latest installment was exhausting AND full of sexual harassment. What has gotten into these people? There were wanton kisses and buckness sightings–a real circus. We’d like to never see Nigel and Mary making out again. No, not ever. That was awful. Aside from all the tongue swabbing, there’s a lot of dancing to discuss.

Let’s get to it. Continue reading →

Kentucky Fried Food Stamps?

Do you know what four things I never thought would go together? KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and Food Stamps. Somehow, I thought that when it came right down to what offerings we’d give to the poorest among us, fast food items just wouldn’t be on that list. Apparently I’d be wrong — so very wrong since Yum! Brands, the parent company of KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, is lobbying to allow their restaurants in Kentucky, America’s seventh most overweight state, to accept food stamps. Continue reading →