Whether he’s filling his party bus with kosher yogurt (kosher yog) or naming his unborn child in honor of the little-known rabbi Menachem Menandel Schmerson (I hear he was based out of Philadelphia), New Girl‘s Schmidt is constantly coming up with Jewish one-liners funny enough to make you laugh until you’re verklempt. As Schmidt would say, “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience.” In honor of Chanukah, here’s a list of Schmidt’s 8 Greatest Jewish Quotes, one to make each night of Chanukah a unique experience.
Zooey Deschanel
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Having a positive outlook isn’t usually a deal breaker in a relationship or in life, even though sunshiny people make our left eyes twitch if we’re not caffeinated enough. But then there’s the twee personality, or the twee affect, or the shroud of perpetual happy that’s all consuming in a way that’s only supposed to surround Pixar animation or most everything found on Etsy.com. Continue reading
When I saw Apple was allowing people to view the pilot episode of Fox’s New Girl (starring forever girlchild, Zooey Deschanel) for free on iTunes, I figured I had nothing to lose by watching. I almost ended up backing out when iTunes used the word “adorkable” to describe Deschanel’s character. Adorkable? Really? Gross. Already this show is trying too hard.
New Girl is premiering later this month. Deschanel plays Jess, a woman in her late 20s who finds out her live-in boyfriend is cheating on her when she comes home early for some afternoon delight and catches the Other Woman in her home. Jess smartly decides to move out of the apartment she shares with her boyfriend and into some sort of bachelor pad with three mostly unattached guys. Continue reading
You know when you’re just minding your own business watching some perfectly good nonsense on television, or listening to much the same on the radio and then some gimmick-laden, shtick-y shtickster appears out of nowhere and involuntarily you’re overcome by a massive eyeroll, coupled with an active gag reflex, mixed with an inner scream – the kind that can only be caused by a thousand fire ants moving up your thigh?
Yeah, these are the people responsible for my current jackass allergy.