Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Jersey Shore Recap: The Shameful HookUp That Just Wouldn’t Die

It seems like it’s been mere moments since we last heard the delicate as a baboon in distress wails of a beleaguered Snooki, or calculated the Situation’s Draconian birthdate to be in the 7th century BC; or watched Deena trip over her own underwear, witnessed Sammi and RAHN make the smush beast with two backs, enjoyed Vinny and Pauly’s Aykroyd and Belushi skit, or finally convinced ourselves that someone could in fact inject a “Castle Jump-Jump” into their sternum and tie string around it like a Christmas pork roast before calling it a “club outfit” as JWOWWW tends to do. The last time any of this happened the Guidos were in Italy stomping around their homeland, and mashing the pebbles in the Florence piazza like a zit that landed on Italy’s face. Continue reading →

Time To Say Farewell to Michele Bachmann

We’ve learned today that Michele Bachmann, our favorite Admiral in the fight for America’s freedom, hopefully wrestled away from the dirty Kenyan while using the Ronald Reagan sword of mercy and defiance, will be ending her campaign for the Republican presidential nomination. A crushing defeat in Iowa last night sealed her fate, and really made it rather ridiculous to continue, but the biggest loser here is us, those of us who will miss her contribution to the world of politics — and by extension comedy. Continue reading →

The Iowa Caucus Live: One of These People Will Have the Best Night Ever

Yes, so, it comes down to this. Are we excited about tonight’s outcome? Yes! Either Romney, or one of these people who’ve seen a surge in their popularity for the simple reason of not being Mitt Romney could walk away with the whole she-bang! What will they get at the end of the night? Nothing, really, because soon they’ll have to battle it out in New Hampshire. And let’s not forget that Mike Huckabee won this thing in 2008 and didn’t get the nomination, so really all that matters is who drops out of the race tomorrow, right? Right. Continue reading →

Updated: Hey! Rick Santorum Does Care About Black People!

Apparently we’ve all been terribly wrong about Rick Santorum and his lack of love for black people in this country. You see, he cares so deeply about black people that he’d like to address them directly, you know, comfortingly, and supportively. This is just his way, you know, with other races. He looks them square in the eye and says exactly what he thinks. Everyone will soon thank him for it, just you wait.

On an Iowa stop Saturday, Santorum tested his theory. Continue reading →

Things Twee People Do!

I don’t know if Things Twee People Do should be some sort of new series here on Crasstalk. Really, how many would fit into this category? There can’t be like whole legions of twees out there, right? Ok. Well, that’s probably not a fair assessment since there are probably more “twees” lurking in knit sweaters, overalls, huge glasses, and floppy hats and living under rainbows and in the knobs of trees than we’re aware of. What do they eat, puffy paint and scratch and sniff stickers? Anyway, I digress, this video of Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (King and Queen of Tweeland!) has been making the rounds. Continue reading →

Best Crasstalk Memes of 2011

It’s the end of the year so of course everyone is rolling out their respective best of lists. Let’s be honest though. Do we really care about every list on the “best of list?” No! So how about we give a shout to the memes some new, some maybe a little older, that made Crasstalk a fun place to hang out. Sure, we could talk about the rest of the world, but really, the stuff that happens in the Crasstalk world is really just as much fun, or at least we probably think so. Navel grazer!

HA! Let’s do this, man. Continue reading →

Abortion is the Biggest Loser in Tuesday’s GOP Pro-Life Teletown Hall

It’s a good thing there’s nothing out there called a Pro-Death Teletown Hall, because wouldn’t that be an interesting meeting full of nutjobs? Anyway, four of your favorite GOP Presidential Candidates, in preparation for the big Iowa Caucus Debutante Ball, met to discuss “personhood” the much debated terminology pro-lifers have recently adopted in efforts to create legislation as it pertains to abortion in this country. Continue reading →