Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Sandra Lee Makes the Most Disgusting Things for Christmas!

Thanks to fabulous Crasstalk Commenter, Gooch, I happened upon a YouTube well of insane and fell right in. Oh, yes, the things discovered here are of magnanimous, indescribable hilarity, mixed with a boozy, crazy disgusting filled topping. I give to you the Christmas-themed treats cooked up by Sandra Lee of the Food Network show, Semi-Homemade, which is some sort of cuisine purgatory where truly abhorrent canned goods and smallish amounts of homemade ingredients collide in a crap sack of inedible mania served with a smile and a straight face. Continue reading →

Coming Attractions: Sarah Palin Reports Her Body Stolen; Julianne Moore Wears it to a Few Parties in Game Change

Let’s switch it up shall we? Are you at all curious about what in hell’s doom led John McCain to pluck some Alaskan simpleton from relative obscurity, dress her up, feed her ego, and basically let her become the Zapf dingbats with a hair bump campaign grenade that she morphed into to his utter monstrous ball-shrinking detriment? Yes, well, Game Change would like you to witness the carnage. Continue reading →

Coming Attractions: Explaining the Unexplainable with The Expendables 2

Oh, good heavens. Why fight it? This thing looks insane, but nonetheless, Sylvester Stallone’s Social Security program just keeps happening. It’s literally like playing a game of This is Your Life as it pertains to movies. You’re really just wondering when they’ll roll out Rick Moranis or JoBeth Williams from Poltergeist. Evidently until that happens, Stallone will just keep force feeding us 80’s action stars dressed in combat gear and with whatever is keeping Dolph Lundgren’s face alive. Continue reading →

Golden Globe Nominations: Proving to the SAGs That They’re Not Prudes!

We’re really rolling now! Award nominations are flooding in. Yesterday it was the SAGs, today the Golden Globes. Things are shaping up rather nicely for a few movies that you just know are going to be on the big Oscar list, and there may be a couple of noms doled out by the Golden Globes that the SAGs obviously missed (Ryan Gosling), so take that Actors! The Globes are in your face!
Continue reading →

Coming Attractions: Tom Cruise Lets His Hair Down in Rock of Ages to Everyone’s Imminent Shame

Well, if hearing some of the songs by Journey and Foreigner weren’t already fraught with enough Glee induced pap that it’s like dousing your eardrums in battery acid — here’s Hollywood’s latest attempt at auditory suicide, Rock of Ages: The Musical, or The Depressing Thing Tom Cruise is Doing Now or Russell Brand Hasn’t Been Deported Yet! Continue reading →