Best Crasstalk Memes of 2011

It’s the end of the year so of course everyone is rolling out their respective best of lists. Let’s be honest though. Do we really care about every list on the “best of list?” No! So how about we give a shout to the memes some new, some maybe a little older, that made Crasstalk a fun place to hang out. Sure, we could talk about the rest of the world, but really, the stuff that happens in the Crasstalk world is really just as much fun, or at least we probably think so. Navel grazer!

HA! Let’s do this, man.

Soon/Now

Well, we’re all being stalked by something, right? Whether it’s a cow, horse, or a cat, something is out there waiting to strike. That’s just a fact. It’s what you plan to do about it that’s the real question. Hide in your tub with the shotgun? Attack right back with an army of snowmen, or mice, or doughnuts? Whatever. All we know is it’s probably better to be on the Now end of the spectrum than the Soon end of it. The best offense is a good defense and all that. It probably doesn’t matter, though, because well…SOON!

All the Things

This year we DID ALL THE THINGS! We cleaned all the things. We did all the things at work, while we shopped, while we baked, while we watched TV. Apparently 2011 was the year of getting shit done. Not sure how any of that is possible since doing all the things also included talking and hobnobbing on Crasstalk, but maybe our measurement for “all the things” is different than most. Mostly people do “some of the things” or “most of the things” or perhaps, maybe “six of the things.” Not here though. Here? We’re superheroes which means tens of dozens or whole couples of things probably got done. That’s close to all, right? Woof!

Futurama Fry

Well, aren’t we crafty? We’re not so transparent after all, right? Our cats and cheese biscuits sometimes have layers. In some ways we are our own Inception movie. Ok. No. We’re nothing like an Inception movie. That thing was stupid! We’re mostly funny and snarky and much better actors than either Leo DiCaprio or that little Juno girl. Seriously. We’re the opposite of Inception we’re more like Introspection or Inspection. That could be a movie. You know about a bunch of people who discuss their life and the lives of others on a blog, and then Nic Cage shows up because there’s a code that must be deciphered, but only he knows how to do it despite our concerns, mostly because his hair is a bird so our arguments are invalid. I See What You Did There.

Strutting Leo

Speaking of Leo, he had a very good year, we suppose. How else can we explain this photo? It’s like there’s an abominable LMFAO song playing on constant repeat in his head here. Did he just land a great movie role? Did he ask some model to marry him? Heh. He’d never do that. Was his morning BM fantastic? No one actually knows. All we can tell from this photo is that Leo has probably never felt better in all his life. It’s not because of Inception, though, because that thing sucked. Can’t say that enough. We’re going to put our money on a belly full of rich people food, unfathomable wealth, the ability to vacation wherever you want, and the promise of sex any time day or night. Ok. We hate Leo DiCaprio, but he doesn’t care does he? No. Tra-la-LAAAA!

Pepper Spray Cop

Is it horrible that really terrible things can become memes? Yes. Does this stop anyone? No. We’ll just say that the pepper spray cop thing was just so insane and ludicrous that it almost seemed unreal that someone could actually be that much of a dick. If there were a dick alert system, and John Boehner was like a yellow, and Newt Gingrich was an orange, Pepper Spray Cop probably comes in at a fire engine, crazed-in-a-crap-hat, glowing red. So of course he should be memorialized forever spraying Godzilla, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, the Last Supper, Sponge Bob…good gracious! Just go to Google images. The man is practically a meme superstar. Dear Lord, he sprays the Brady Bunch and baby Jesus!

Business Cat

We never need an excuse to post a cat picture, but this one mixed our love of cats with frustration at our jobs. It’s so nice when a cat can form the exact words to describe just what you’re feeling, if well, you were another cat. What is it ultimately good for? Basically when this happens at work: “Hey, Todd? Why don’t we do a more robust evaluation? I think Greg’s input would be a true value add here. Let’s reach out to him and put some units in motion. And moving forward? Yeah, the metrics on those TPS reports should really be filed, “stock standard” or “great traction.” Let’s confab on Tuesday to iron out the logistics.” Sigh. We hate Bill, and Todd, Greg, and Susan. It’s so much easier to say, “It’s Caterday. I’m sleeping in.” Right? Right.

 

Hipster Edits

I know, right. The. World. So many problems, so few hoodies. It’s like the world is a big boxing match and everyone just got knocked out in round two. Seriously, man. We’re never going to get anywhere unless we get there together. Whole Foods has a sale on berry, bark, nut and yogurt mix. It’s like $17.50 for a two ounce bag. Score! What? Yeah, sure, well, I live in either Dumbo, East Verrazano Derbyshire New York, Bedford Stuyvesant Billy Joel Burg, or Union Square Park. Let’s go bowling and eat organic buffalo wings with a basil aioli drizzle on the bridge! Good times. Yep, good times.

Blunt Card/SomeeCards

Well, sometimes you just need to be a bitch, or a douche, or whatever word we’re now using for the premiere asshole who’d like you to very much shut up, pour them a drink, and basically stop annoying the world with your paltry concerns about #realworldissues or condiments, or #OWS, or whatever other thing you’re so into, and everyone else is like MEH! Just kidding. That kind of stuff doesn’t happen here on Crasstalk. We smother everyone with bunnies and kisses and the occasional meat cleaver to the chest plate. Mostly though, we like these passive aggressive ‘eff off cards because they’re fun!

Lt. Worf

Are we trekkies? Somehow, some way, the trek has infiltrated us. We are now constantly photo bombed by Lt. Worf. He is now everywhere. He sings Christmas carols, he has a dreidel of some sort. And he speaks a fascinating amount of Klingon only he and a few other commenters on this site can translate. I don’t know. My Worf verve is a little on the slight side. He was some sort of two-timing bastard was he not? Didn’t he sex up Counselor Troi and the chick from Deep Space Nine? Heh. There’s probably some sort of sex joke that involves Deep Space Nine…but only nerds will know it! So there’s that.

Blingee Madness

Like giving a baby cocaine. Crasstalkers went on a blingee rampage this year, and we decided to blingee everything imaginable. Got a birthday? Blingee. You start a fight? Blingeeed! Today is Thursday, December 29, 2011? Blinggeeeeee! Yes. This is like walking into Strawberry Shortcake’s S & M den. The blingee can just be so much. There’s all kind of vajazziling sparkles and rhinestones all in pink. What? Oh, no one is blingeeeing their va-jay-jay? This hasn’t happened yet? Sure, whatever. No, I understand. That would be very NSFW! BUT you never know what goes down during Crasstalk after dark.

Y U No…

Apparently, the Crasstalkers have a bit of a problem with the grammar as well as a penchant for textspeak, because we’re all twelve year old girls. So with that in mind, we’ve been Y U No-ing for a while now. Can someone tell us what this guy is supposed to be? Is he a potato? The moon with fingers? An angry nectarine? Anyway, so this guy is upset seemingly all the time, or he needs one of those fantastic BMs Leo DiCaprio had this morning. Either way, that much rage could cause a stroke. Perhaps he should try yoga.

No Time to Explain…

When you commit as many crimes that we do here. Book Club crimes. Scream and Flounce crimes etc. You should probably have a good getaway plan. And we’re not talking some sort of Fast and Furious crap starring Vin Diesel and that other talking wood plank, Paul Walker. No siree, we’re talking in a llama. Yes, that’s right. If one of us told you to jump in the llama would you really ask questions? Probably not. Things must have really turned to shit if you’re riding a llama out of town. There are probably zombies all over the first five floors of your building, but whatever, Gooch, Madfall, and Cleter have the llama all ready to go, all you have to do is hitch up your pants and jump in.

Aubrey Plaza

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the one most hated, scurrilous Crasstalk meme of the entire year. Yack. Well, you see it there. There aren’t a lot of words to describe the intestinal bubbles of puke-pox this made us all feel, except for one very special person. One man out of many found beauty in the toxic face of boredom you see before you. And who knows, since that one person has disappeared from the face of the Earth, maybe he found a way to be with his one true beloved. He’s probably sitting outside her door right now, eating cheese biscuits, watching cats on YouTube and stroking an unwieldy amount of beard hair. This goes out to you know who.

A Night of Untz

You know how you get so drunk that you randomly leap into an active commenter thread, throw caution to the wind, and proclaim your love of lady parts, while also indicating that you’d enjoy a good rave party? A rave party in your pants perhaps? An Untz, Untz, Untz party? No? Really. So you don’t know of anyone at all who engaged in this type of activity? Hmm. That’s strange, so you’re saying this didn’t actually happen? Ok. Except, we’re all pretty sure it did. It probably wasn’t a dream. Nope. There’s probably actual proof of the particular bit of drunken, wanton, sexed up, virile, cocksure exclamations discussed above. How we haven’t extorted the guilty party and blackmailed him or her is a mind-boggler.

A Menagerie of Cats

Finally, a day in the life of Crasstalk just wouldn’t exist without the cats that make this place tick. It is the fuel that we run on. Too bad the owners of this site couldn’t charge us per cat picture. They’d be rich right now! Too bad, so sad, you lose. HA! Seriously, we love pics of furry things doing cool stuff. The more unique the better. It’s always a great way to break the ice and get all Ryan Gosling with us and say, “Hey, hey girl. We like to cuddle and be friends.” So if you’re lurking and reading this…stop by and say hello.

Those are the best Crasstalk memes of 2011. They’re all pretty genius, huh. Yup. If you want to check out a few more that are just fantabulous, and probably were showcased here somewhere too, check out BuzzFeed‘s list. Feel free to add any others in the comments!

I leave you with this, my personal favorite.

Paula Deen Riding Falkor

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