Well, this latest installment was exhausting AND full of sexual harassment. What has gotten into these people? There were wanton kisses and buckness sightings–a real circus. We’d like to never see Nigel and Mary making out again. No, not ever. That was awful. Aside from all the tongue swabbing, there’s a lot of dancing to discuss.
Let’s get to it. Continue reading
Well, we knew it was coming. The dreaded double elimination. It just seems like yesterday the kids made it to the show from Vegas week. And now for four of them it will all be over; off to relative obscurity for you. It’s kind of like what happens, uh, well, when you win the show. So maybe it won’t be so bad! Obscurity can be awesome, right? Well, no. But at least drinking Gatorade can return to being a private experience again.
So who will we lose tonight?
We’d like to think that there’s no “Wayward Home for Abandoned Dancers” but if there ever had to be one, it quite possibly may be the Hollywood home of a movie icon. There at the WHFAD you’d receive three square meals, tutoring in a private ballroom, and stretch limo chauffeur service with your own personal driver, among other activities. Be sure to read the fine print, kids. Don’t you want to sponsor an Abandoned Dancer today? Call 1-800-REAL-LIFE-HANSEL-GRETEL
Wadi and five others are on the phone lines now. Please call.
It’s time for our first week of eliminations. Which performances weren’t quite up to snuff? This is going to be a hard decision since this year’s crop of dancers are some of the best we’ve seen. And this week, while some of the performances were a bit lukewarm, the talent of the dancers undoubtedly showed underneath.
We can already tell this season’s results shows will be painful. So let’s get started shall we? Bring the pain.
Continue reading
I’m thinking perhaps Nigel has been reading too much Stephenie Meyer. Why all the fascination with “beasts,” Nigel? Last night this was his go-to word to describe any and all female dancers performing. We get the impression that if these ladies don’t appear on stage growling and clawing at the moon, Nigel will be sorely disappointed. Those of us who were less concerned with dancing lycanthropy were excited for the return of one of the best competition shows on television.
Let’s dance, let’s shout, and shake our bodies down to the ground.
So it has come to this. Decisions will be made. Do you honor thy family, or do you complete your duty to the realm? These are the questions that haunt the men and women of Westeros and the outlying areas. There is much at stake, and one false move will topple all the pieces set in motion, and there is no going back. So what do you do?
Who is it that you are really living for? Continue reading
Remember how we left last week with all kinds of double crosses and betrayals happening… yes, well, that basically means that every Stark associate in residence at King’s Landing is fit for the killing, and we begin with exactly that. There is all kinds of bloody mayhem, and as Arya and Sansa go about their day oblivious to the murder amongst them, we are indeed fearful for their very lives. We watch as all is serene until Holy Slicing Ginsu! Stab, stab, stake, slash, kill, kill, dead, dead. Oh, yes, King’s Landing is no place for a Stark.
All right! This week was “A Very Special Episode” featuring The Worst Non-Teen Mom In The World! We’ve got our hip waders on for this Very Special septic tank, and I’ll pause a minute for you to do the same. It’s really long, so settle down with a mood-altering substance; you will need it. The theme of this episode: “What I Don’t Even.” Continue reading
This episode was torture, pure torture. The very idea of rewatching this episode so that I can write this recap made my heart cry. In a fit of procrastination, I tried to think of things I would rather do than watch this episode again and I came up with the following: 1. I’d rather watch a sex tape starring my grandparents; 2. I’d rather eat horse testicle soup; 3. I’d rather drink the water in Mexico; 4. I’d rather get lost in Chicago’s South Side in the daytime wearing heels, without my CTA card and cell phone; and 5. I’d rather get crabs. Continue reading
This week on Thrones we look more deeply into all that glitters. What is a gold crown really worth? Can it bring down a kingdom, or save it? Some certainly seem to think it has the answers many men seek.
And we’re inclined to agree. Let’s see how the golden crown works its magic.