48 posts
A sassy disaster. Follow me on Twitter: @missripleysmom Email me: [email protected]

Why I’m Running Away With the Cat Circus

ShadyCatsI’m thirty years old. I get blind drunk once a week because I’m too poor to do it more often. I frequently don’t wear real pants for weeks at a time. Some days the only conversation I have is with my dog.

I’m not just single but divorced and still fuming and sniveling inside about my last relationship. I keep reactivating my OkCupid account, trolling for some kind of unicorn-man to fix me, despite having no car, living with my father, and working fifteen hours a week tending bar at a pizza restaurant.

I like the Cobra Starship song “Hot Mess,” because I relate to it at a visceral level.

I am whatever the opposite is of having one’s shit together. Continue reading

I Know What It’s Like to be the Family Member of a Murderer


When something as horrific as the mass murder of children in Connecticut happens, we look at Adam Lanza and his family, and we demand to know why this happened. What led to that day? Why didn’t anyone step in? What could have been done differently? I know the answer: nothing. And everything. And it doesn’t matter because it’s too late to stop what’s already happened. I know all this because my own brother is a murderer, too. Continue reading

Found: The Most Jezebellian Comment on Jezebel

Jezzies. You love them. Their razor-sharp wit, their entirely excessive use of all permutations of the phrase “clutching my pearls,” their lentils or whatever. The articles might be the stars of the site, but the commenters are the mellifluous Greek chorus. Specifically the one in Electra.

The most innocuous part of Jezebel, the Dirtbag, was the site of the most Jezebellian comment thread ever yesterday. Continue reading