Well, it’s been a tough week for Mitt Romney. Not only has the Obama administration not given up discussing his tax returns, some crazy man started talking about what happens in magical lady wombs which set off a bomb of atomic abortion proportions like he never could have imagined. Seriously. That shit hit the mega rape fan and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
All of this has had Romney and his “ban abortions” VP pick Paul Ryan running all week. The media wanted to talk about nothing but Todd Akin’s colossal stupidity with regard to science, women, campaigning, Republicans and all other matters of importance AND that jackass still won’t drop out of the race after everyone, even Rush Limbaugh, Romney himself, and Paul Ryan in a fit of hypocrisy that is simply stunning, urged him to do so. And on top of all that, some goofball website has 950 pages of internal audits, financial statements, and private investor letters from his Bain Capital money-hiding and tax-dodging days. Not to mention there may be a (Thunderous God Rapture Judgment Day) hurricane heading straight for his little RNC Crazy, Nutbag Jamboree and Barbeque out there in Tampa.
Whew.
What the hell is a Mormon who’s given unknown dollars to his church who’s also not taking media questions about rapity, rape, rape abortions to do to wrap up one hellish (but hilarious if you’re a Democrat) week? Well, he could try changing the subject and talk about energy. Lol, whut? Who wants to talk about energy when you’ve got abortion platforms to mandate, yet refuse to discuss, while you plot to destroy women’s rights?
The only thing left is to…go racist. And go racist…hard. After all, when it’s said and done and you’ve gotten your ass handed to you in the media for five days straight it’s always good to go home to the fringe Tea Party whackadoos who also benefit from many of those socialist government programs they so hate, and have yourself a good old fashioned “Barry Husseeeiinnn Obama Ain’t From Here” chant with all the Thanksgiving trimmings. Sure, yes, roll out the birth certificate jokes, the weird nervous laughter, the pandering to the obsessive birther crowd. Yes, do all of that, you odd, odd robotic man whose great-grandfather jaunted on down to Mexico to avoid U.S. anti-polygamy laws, and whose son was born there, as was his son after that — George Romney — your father. Haha! Oh, Mitt. You’re such an asshole. Let’s bring up foreign births and the reasons behind them. We’ve been waiting to have the Mormon discussion. Do let’s bring it on! No way your beloved (evangelical) fringe fan club will judge you on any of these things.
Take a listen to Mitt’s comments this morning in Michigan.
