jackassery

Note: This article was put together by Lady_E for your reading pleasure. Show some appreciation.

Of the many themes emerging from the uprisings sweeping the Middle East, one of the most resonant and motivating have been complaints of nepotism. Before pledging to hold elections, lift onerous security laws or stop police brutality, dictator after dictator has rushed to state TV to pledge, first and foremost, that they will not foist their worthless, generally reviled and invariably criminal son onto their beleaguered country. “No, no! I was never going to do that! I promise!” they swear in a desperate attempt to appease their outraged populations. In fact, many commentators have suggested that the final straw in Egypt was the widespread belief that Hosni Mubarak was going to install his hated son, Gamel, as President in the next elections. Not surprisingly, the very first response to the protests from Mubarak was to promise that neither he nor his son would be a candidate in the elections.

This phenomenon is completely understandable. After all, nothing gets people’s hackles up like seeing some entitled douchebag sail through life smugly collecting that Ivy League degree, high paying job or important post without any acknowledgement of how underserved each of these things are. If there is one thing that unites people it is disdain for blatant nepotism and this is true the world over, from the streets of Cairo to the halls of Princeton.

So, in recognition of this powerfully unifying topic, you are all invited to submit your most outrageous example of nepotism. The rules for submission are simple. The parent doesn’t need to be a dad (how’s the autobiography going, Bristol?), nor do they have to be a dictator. But, the child must be completely unworthy of said advantages and privileges obtained by their accident of birth. After all, not all nepotism is bad. As my boyfriend points out, when the all-knowing and all-powerful God needed a job done, he did not pull out the angel org chart or call for candidates. He sent his son.

Choosing one will be difficult, I admit. To start you all off I will make my nomination for the most outrageous, undeserved on the merits and due wholly to his daddy example of nepotism. After much review and careful consideration, I submit to you Mr. Saadi Gaddafi, son of Moamar. As recounted in this excellent New York Times article, papa Gaddafi succeeded in securing for his son, Saadi, what I think is a truly remarkable feat of nepotistic influence- a spot on one of Italy’s most successful Series A soccer teams.

From the article:

Fiat is the owner of Italy’s oldest and most successful team, and the team with the most fans — Juventus. The Qaddafi family built up considerable holdings in Juventus, obtaining, according to some reports as much as seven percent of shares in the clubs in recent years. In 2002, the Italian Supercup final was played in Tripoli, the currently embattled Libyan capital, thanks to these links.

It is perhaps for this reason that Saadi Qaddafi thought that he might be able to play in Serie A, despite not being good enough. The strategy was simple — pay teams to have him in their squad, and train with the first team. He might even get a few minutes on the field, on rare occasions.

Saadi was “signed” by Luciano Gaucci, the volcanic owner of Perugia, in the 2003 off-season. Qaddafi had been hanging around Italian soccer for years. He even trained with Paul Gascoigne at Lazio in the 1990s. Although he had trained with Juve, nobody had ever imagined that the dictator’s son was anywhere near good enough to actually turn out in Serie A, except Gaucci.

Despite Gaucci’s best efforts, Perugia Manager Serse Cosmi obstinately refused to play the 30-year-old Libyan. Gaucci issued a statement, at the time, which is interesting in retrospect: “Berlusconi called me up and encouraged me. He told me that having Qaddafi in the team is helping us build a relationship with Libya. If he plays badly, he plays badly. So be it.”

A number of excuses were invented — he was injured, it was the wrong game. Gaucci pleaded publicly with Cosmi, asking if he would play Qaddafi for just one half … even if he is not very good. Cosmi held firm. Qaddafi sat on the bench once without coming on. The case was resolved in a spectacular manner. On the Oct. 5, 2003 (after his first game as nonplaying substitute) Qaddafi’s urine sample was found to contain traces of an illegal substance — Nandrolone. He was barred for three months, without ever having played for the first team.

The Qaddafi saga was not over, however.

Having served his ban, Saadi finally saw some action, for 15 minutes, in a key relegation game against Juventus in May as Perugia won, 1-0. A week later an attack of appendicitis conveniently put him out for the rest of the season.

Can you beat that? Submit your choice in the comments!