Last night, the surviving GOP candidates met in New Hampshire, America’s quaint Christmas village, for the final debate before the doom-bringing of the New Hampshire primaries. The candidates included America’s most loathesome Canadian, Texas senator Rafael Theodosius Cruz, JC Penney’s Boys Department suit model and part-time junior varsity senator Marco Rubio, anger-spirit and claymation-Christmas-special villain Donald Trump, living Quaalude Ben Carson, and a trio of battered governors: son-of-a-mailman John Kasich, Harkonnen-on-the-Hudson Chris Christie, and sad deflated balloon animal Jeb! Bush. It was not the best of nights for the boy senator. Continue reading
GOP Primary
4 posts
To think, ’tis only May 1, and America’s favorite space-grifter and her most beloved hater of colleges have packed up and left the deranged playground that was the 2012 GOP presidential primary. Now that the least heinous most likable 1%er of the crop has been chosen, the side show collection of contenders will slowly slide back into the murky depths of K-street lobbying firms and Heritage Foundation-like ‘think-tanks’. Continue reading
The Florida GOP primary may be a distant and not-too-grand memory for Rick Santorum, but an important and much more widely followed Florida event has attracted ol’ Ricky’s attention today. If you happen across Santorum’s name emblazoned across a perpetually left-turning vehicle on the television today, it’s not your hangover. That’s right, the sometimes-leader in the GOP presidential primary death-match has purchased a sponsorship of a car in today’s Daytona 500. Continue reading
In the midst of a seemingly endless primary season, one of the more interesting subtexts of each state’s GOP primary is the fundraising boost the winner has received in the immediate aftermath of their victory. Moon Pilgrim Newt Gingrich saw it after his South Carolina victory in January, and, on the heels of a three state sweep on Tuesday, Rick Santorum felt the sweet embrace of conservative donors stuffing grubby singles into his sweater vest. Continue reading