I am a disillusioned newsperson. I am crumbled against the dumpster in the alley even as we speak, wearing my tattered fedora, pulling a flask of cheap gin from the pocket of my filthy trenchcoat. And yet: I give you the morning headlines. Because a newsgirl never gives up.
Karyn
133 posts
News! We’ve got news!
President Obama is sticking by his plan for Mideast peace, no matter how much it pisses off Israel and, quite possibly, European allies.
President Obama is hopping the pond. He will visit Ireland, and visit the town of his Irish ancestors. The town is mad with glee.
Oh my goodness, ya’ll! Just 24 hours until the end of the world!
In case you haven’t heard…tomorrow, Saturday, May 21st, is it. Finito. The End of The Line. Check-out time. So says Colorado minister Harold Camping, who believes all will end. You’ve probably seen his followers wandering about wearing sandwich boards to warn the rest of us, because nothing gets the word out about important things like sandwich boards. Continue reading
Sex! Drugs! Scandal! Steve Jobs!
It’s a busy Friday morning, kids. Here’s what’s happening.
Good morning! 56 degrees in midtown. We’re going up to 70 today. Full forecast and a check of the roads coming up. First — Here’s what’s happening. Continue reading
Underpants are important. Continue reading
I have been told I’m too literal minded. Continue reading
Well, cats, obviously.
I was always a cat girl. My first cat was a Siamese named Tiger, when I was two years old.
We went to the ASPCA and found another little girl when I was in first grade. I put my finger on the cage, and she wrapped her paw around my little finger. My father was not happy I called her Muffin. I thought it was a very classy name. Muffin was followed by Crystal: another name of pure class. Continue reading
Amid all those Oh-My-Wonderful-Sainted-Beautiful-Mother posts today, I thought I’d throw something together for the rest of us, who give out of obligation, not love.