Oh my goodness, ya’ll! Just 24 hours until the end of the world!
In case you haven’t heard…tomorrow, Saturday, May 21st, is it. Finito. The End of The Line. Check-out time. So says Colorado minister Harold Camping, who believes all will end. You’ve probably seen his followers wandering about wearing sandwich boards to warn the rest of us, because nothing gets the word out about important things like sandwich boards.
For those of you who will be Left Behind, I have a few requests. I will still require a funeral. What I would like you do is throw my body off the Queensboro Bridge — and we’re talking the whole body, no cremation here — while someone holds up a giant boombox and plays “Video Killed The Radio Star”. You may then head to the Irish pub of your choice and get smashed. The playlist at said bar should be consist heavily of the Stones, The Beatles, Dylan, and The Who.
You are also hereby instructed to burn the seventeen boxes of journals I’ve amassed since my teen years. You are not allowed to read my angst.
After the booze and the boom box is paid for, my sad little estate is left to my cats, Amelia and Buster.
Thank you.
