Jezzies. You love them. Their razor-sharp wit, their entirely excessive use of all permutations of the phrase “clutching my pearls,” their lentils or whatever. The articles might be the stars of the site, but the commenters are the mellifluous Greek chorus. Specifically the one in Electra.
The most innocuous part of Jezebel, the Dirtbag, was the site of the most Jezebellian comment thread ever yesterday.
IT BEGINS:
Let’s not get crazy asking questions. I just have three:
1) Is this somehow related to the Dirtbag? I just wanted to read about Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez making cupcakes.
2) Is there any other, less thoroughly insane way to “undo the damage,” like just checking Twitter or maybe emailing Gawker Media help? That’s a stupid question. Who would know how you felt then? Steve Climaco? Please.
3) Why is your husband updating your browsers? He obviously just forced you to connect to Jezebel, come to an article totally devoid of rape, and post a diatribe about how you need off of Jezebel NOW. Sounds like he took away your agency to me.
When some of the more lucid Jezzies ask why she must be banned instead of just regular shutting the hell up, she says it’s because she “need[s] the ban so that Gawker can’t access my Twitter info at all. Unless they delete my account, I’m going to be tied to these assholes forever.”
It is well-established that Gawker has never and will never delete an account, ever, no matter how much you hate Nick Denton, Anna North (the author of the rape article), Zooey Deschanel, or athletes’ sinewy thighs.
This goes on a long, loooong time. It’s worth reading the whole thing. Here’s just one more bite, because it’s really rich:
…[Y]ou all need therapy to help you deal with and conquer whatever fucking victim complex makes you want to keep coming back… Like a good victim, you are perpetuating the problem and passing it on to your feminist daughters by continuing to take part in the success of Jezebel….The level of ethics or feminism so many of you take pride in supposedly possessing is much MUCH lower than you seem to realize.
As it progresses, this commenter, the one that just hates this place so damn much, gets alternately more angry and more cordial (though it’s hard to be less cordial than telling all Jez commenters they are victims and they make her sick): “[A]lso, I miss you. I loved you so much. I’m sorry.” By my count her desire to stop commenting has led her to make 26 comments.
As of this writing, Schoolmarm has not yet been banned.
