Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

Jerk Alert: No, Your Toe Shoes Don’t Make You Important

Jerks. They exist. We see them everyday. They sit in the cubicle next to you. Perhaps they rub their butt on your hand while on the subway, or they ride on the stair directly behind you on an escalator and breathe garlic-onion dip on the back of your neck. COURTESY STAIR! COURTESY STAIR! You always provide one courtesy stair after the person in front of you. Sheesh. These guys, and many others like them litter our world with their collective jerkiness totally oblivious to their er, problem, while nonchalant in their affect, and mostly unrepentant.

Today we’ll start calling out jerks. Because, really, they need to know. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Jim Carrey Would Like to Date You…or Wear Your Skin. Both, Maybe?

Jim Carrey scares us with his honesty; What’s interesting about the 1890’s? We have no idea. Well, obviously they should have made a game out of Sorry; Remember Heathers? Well that guy will be on TV again, yay? Timothy Olyphant likes to wear jeans and we like it so much we could watch more; The Game of Thrones keeps getting awesomer!

Today’s Hollywood Dish needs a restraining order. Continue reading →

Let’s Be Honest About Target

Hello. Hi. You need a new tea kettle, duvet cover, pet bed, frozen pizza, DVD of the Birdcage, and a storage container thing you can put in your closet. Okay, well, you’re going to Target. Or to those who somehow believe we were loaned the enigmatic department store from France…Tar-zhay. Who are these people? We don’t know, but we bet they have a Shake Weight and a camping stove in their garages! Tar-zhay, who are they kidding? The French don’t like us. They’d never give us the secret to overpriced knickknacks and barbeque equipment!

Anyway, let’s dissect the discount retailer using our impressive evaluation goggles. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: For the First Time Ever…A Butter Beef!

Instead of fighting, just throw everything in a pan and sear with butter, we’ll do the rest, thanks; computers never know when you just want to play checkers or something; Kevin James should always be available for unfunny things; Sean Penn sulks in a corner; and people still host TV shows?

Today’s dish is covered in Cholesterol and we like it!

Continue reading →

At What Age Does Breast-Shaming Start?

The US will soon release a doll from Spain called “Breast Milk Baby.” The $89 toy will allow children to imitate the act of breast-feeding by using a special halter top that comes with the doll. Parents and critics are divided on the product, some claiming that the doll over-sexualizes young girls by forcing them to grow up too quickly, but supporters claim that the toy is a learning product meant to teach nurturing and provide valuable education on what is believed to be a healthy choice when it comes to parenting.

What’s the debate? Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Old Men Have a War…Sitting Down!

Two old guys hitch up their elastic waistband slacks and yell at their computers; some unfunny person tries to convince us that she’s funny based on the success record of the NBC network; Science Fiction to hopefully get a shot of adrenaline; Desperate Housewives is still on television; a superhero gets a part-time job, and the unemployment line is about to get royal.

This Hollywood Dish needs pudding and a nap.

Continue reading →

Is Searching for a Job the New First Day of High School?! Yikes!

The jobless rate in this country is abysmal. Currently stuck at 9 percent, many Americans who find themselves unemployed in an unstable economy are desperate for the types of work many wouldn’t consider in a flourishing financial landscape. For some, finding full-time work is a luxury, since many companies have downsized, laid off staff, or have fluctuated between hiring freezes, furloughs, and other personnel cutbacks.

It would seem finding a job has numerous roadblocks. What makes things harder?

Continue reading →

Christine O’Donnell: “I’m Here To Talk About My Book…So Let’s Not Talk About the Book!”


Hey, remember that anti-masturbation, pro-coven-witch Delaware Tea Party Candidate Christine O’Donnell? She ran for office and lost mostly because no one could figure out what she was talking about, and well, the whole coven witch thing? Basically she was some sort of Sarah Palin clone without the high-profile, but with all the requisite bubble-brained word mashing. Yeah well, she’s written a book about who knows…perhaps how to tend to a vegetable garden now that you’re a failed politician! She attempted to sit for an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan until he started asking questions in line with the book’s contents and then she imploded into a thousand stupid pieces.

Here’s what happened. Continue reading →

Anderson Cooper Conquered By Poo

The silver fox couldn’t keep a straight face last night during his Ridiculist segment as he launched into a series of puns describing actor Gerard Depardieu’s impatient urination on the floor of an airplane. After about ten such mentions of pee, poo, and all other manner of incontinence issues, the normally stoic Coop…Just Completely Loses It! And it’s probably the funniest and most heartwarming thing you’ll see all day.

Take a look. Continue reading →