Hey, you know that big kerfuffle happening right now between retailer Abercrombie & Fitch and MTV’s, son-of-Jimmy Durante, Jersey Shore Cash Cow, The Situation? No? Well, where have you been for the last eight hours? Anyway, MTV responds in the way only MTV can — with a high-school middle finger!
More sex on your teevee — well, you asked for it. The return of an SNL icon, or maybe just some guy who freezes under the spell of Kanye West. Johnny Depp won’t be eating beans by a fire, romantic comedies need more ice cream, what you won’t be watching next year, and action stars don’t age… they ripen. Mostly.
You love Hollywood dish more than your shoes.
We’re back with the cast of Jersey Shore! Still in Italy! Still lacking self-awareness! That’s fine. Means more incredulous observations for us!
Let’s watch and learn. Continue reading
It was a night full of wobbles and bobbles, and Katie Holmes’ emaciated arms! Are you excited? This is very nearly it. The end. Is it anybody’s game, or is there a clear frontrunner?
Let’s see what the night brought. Continue reading
The Whole Foods Mega Buckwheat and Soy Bean grocery chain has decided that the cons outweigh the pros of being a socially conscious entity by basically becoming the poster child for retreating political correctness. How, you say?
By deciding that the big, bad conservative blog community should lead their marketing endeavors.
Well, what do you know, someone’s found a use for Lifetime after all — you know, for their scripted series department. Also, Tyler Perry wants to ruin television, Bruce Willis gets Joed, and American Idol judge negotiators yell Mission Accomplished.
Hollywood dish is mostly best served cold.
I don’t know about you, but if you’re often photographed, or filmed, or witnessed looking like a complete loon in most every visual sense represented by modern technology…how can you really blame anyone for your lack of focus, your stunned appearance, or what looks to be a pained effort to read the words inside your head? Apparently, Conservatives believe that the liberal media wants to make Michelle Bachmann look crazy, and it’s not, uh, you know, Michele Bachmann just looking insane, because that’s kind of her thing.
Let’s see what the conservative brain trust thinks. Continue reading
I propose that they just make a movie called Reboot, which discusses the process of rebooting a movie. You know, how they decide which marginally successful 1980’s movie hasn’t been touched by the hand of Michael Bay or Brett Ratner (who’s producing this year’s Oscars by the way. We have been forsaken.) and then how they sell its earning potential to a studio. Can’t you just imagine the Weekend at Bernie’s pitch meeting, or the discussion of Killer Klowns from Outer Space over sushi? I’m not really sure how these things happen. Maybe it’s more like spinning a Price Is Right Wheel, but somehow these ideas make it to the big screen mostly to our utter confusion and despair.
Let’s take a look at what Hollywood has on tap for the coming future.
Well, two more kids will have to leave the stage just momentarily, not for forever, just for like ten minutes until the tour starts. But yeah, you know, we’ve gotta see who it’s going to be.
Let’s see who’s leaving the stage but still, uh, living in the house! Continue reading
Buon giorno! Ciao! And all other manner of Italian salutations! Yes, that’s right all our wonderful guido friends have now taken their tanned, poof-haired, staggering, falling, fighting, screaming selves to their homeland with the sole goal of smushing all over famous Italian sites. We fully expect the Polizia to come and arrest everyone, just everyone in the Jersey Shore in Italy house. Can it still be The Jersey Shore when you’re in Italy? Obviously MTV thinks so. Do we fully expect Snooki to fall off a Vespa? Yes. Will Pauly and Vinnie wear something sparkly with gargoyles and rhinestone swirls? Yes! Will J-WoWWW fall off a cliff and into her own cleavage? Yes! Will The Situation become the Continuing Annoying Faction? Definitely! What’s a Deena? We still don’t know! Will Sammy and Ron become great friends and never fight? Oh, hello. You must be new here…of course they’ll fight! It’s the Jersey Shore way!
Get your sausage, peppers and your Ron-Ron juice because yes, we’re in Italy Bitches! Continue reading