Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth/Bipolar Disaster Dickhead show opened Saturday night in Detroit, and in an absolutely shocking turn of events, it completely sucked. Over at Entertainment Weekly, they live blogged the whole fiasco. Before the show, the reporter questioned some fans outside the theater, asking if they were worried about Charlie’s mental health. Answer? Hell no, they just thought he was funny. Yea, funny until the guy holds a knife to your throat, shoots you, or beats the shit out of you. But whatever.
The show started ten minutes late, which isn’t really terrible as far as shows goes. The opening act, a comedian that I can’t even find the name of, got booed off the stage with the crowd chanting for Charlie. In fact, it got so bad that Sheen came out, begging the crowd to give the dude a chance. No such luck, and the poor comedian was off the stage in 20 minutes.
After a confusing part where the lights came back on, Charlie’s set started with a video montage of his own movie clips. How narcissistic can one asshole be? The answer seems to be “limitlessly so” as Charlie came on stage and began rambling about trolls and warlocks, going into his typical (old, boring, dumb) routine, talking about napalm and “sweat eating whores,” which basically morphed into a typical whining screed about how everybody is so mean to poor Charlie.
After the crowd became restless, with many walking out and booing Sheen, he taunted the crowd by boasting “I already got your money, dude!” Charlie then made the wonderfully sensitive remark about how he should share some stories about crack, since Detroit seems like “good place to tell some crack stories.” Wonderful. Then there’s this great live blog update from EW:
9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.
Sheen continued to berate the crowd, basically making fun of them for wasting their money. Apparently, Snoop Dogg was supposed to show up (and Sheen and Snoop recorded a song together? WTF?). Snoop was a no show, and people continued to leave in droves as Charlie continued to offend everyone. The show ends with a video montage/music video, Charlie doesn’t bother to come back out, and the show is literally over by 10:20.
RadarOnline has some video of this catastrophe, if you have the stomach to bear this. It’s mostly him rambling about inane crap. I don’t think we’re (read: I know we’re not) really surprised by this utter shit show, and we shouldn’t per se feel sorry for the dumb schmucks that shelled out actual cash for this crap, but one could wonder about all the shows in the future. As previously reported, these shows aren’t really sold out, and rather, ticket scalpers/re-sellers bought mass amounts hoping to make a profit. Maybe Charlie Sheen will cancel future shows, refund everyone’s money (not likely), and go sit in the corner? April Fools!
Meet Fabrice Fabrice (the name’s so nice, you can say it… AGAIN). Fabrice Fabrice is the creation of Nick Kroll, a comedian who’s currently on the show “The League.” (Ask your boyfriend about it. He probably knows it well….)
So Kroll, who looks like a typical, married Accord-driving suburban dork from the accounting department, has created one of the most outrageous alter-egos I’ve ever seen. Here he is on John Oliver’s recent Comedy Central special:
Fabrice Fabrice isn’t actually a performer. He’s the craft services coordinator. Here he is explaining his work on the set of “That’s So Ravyn.” (I also love the way Fabrice Fabrice holds the microphone.)
This is the true story of five All-Stars, picked to cook on an island, work together, and have their lives taped. To find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being total culinary douchebags… you should probably keep reading.
It’s been such a long journey to the finale that we could just mise en plotz! But before we do, it’s time to crown Top Chef’s first ever “Best Chef of All the Chefs Who Proved Not to Be the Best in Other Seasons,” and before we do that, we need a little background on the season that was.
The season started with 18 chefs, but the combination of too much salt and too much crazy quickly whittled the contenders down to the five (it was supposed to be four, but apparently, no one sucked enough to get booted, which was super convenient considering how many episodes were left in the season!) who’d be going on to the finals in the Bahamas:
In this corner, we have the itch you can’t scratch, the rash that refuses to go away, the houseguest that won’t leave, Tiffany “I’m From Beaumont, Bitches” Derry!
In this corner, weighing in at five-foot-awesome with three ounces of pot, we have Antonia Lofaso, Purveyor of Perfect Food, Champion (well, 4th place) of Chi-Town, Tigress of the Toque! (And the toke, too!)
In this corner, hailing all the way from Fraggle Rock, the Selcouth of the South, the Chicken Pot Pie Perfecter, the Spectacle in Spectacles, Carla “Hootie Hoo” Hall!
And in this corner, weighing 145 pounds…more than he did last season, the Robber of Recipes, the Beast from the East, Mike “I’m with stunad” Isabella!
And, in the center of it all, stands the Lord of Liquid Nitrogen, Atlanta’s own Jimmy Neutron, the super-flammable Richard Blais!
From L to R: Tiffany, Richard, Mike, Antonia, and Carla
Of course, only two would remain standing for the finale, and after cooking for Bohemian royalty, rocking out with their conchs out, and cooking last suppers for some lusty chefs, MikeyNeck “Jersey Douche” Isabella and Richard “When did he become such a dick?” Blais emerged victorious. Let the games begin!
Gratuitous Padma Shot
The big challenge is essentially a mini-variation on Restaurant Wars: Cook the four-course meal of your life and put it on the menu of a pretend restaurant with a pretend name even though you’re serving it at a real restaurant with a real name. The two cheftestants immediately get to discussing which of the previously ousted chefs they would take on as sous chefs and writing slanderous comments about them in their Burn Book. After a few games of MASH and doing each other’s hair, they discuss their super secret strategies for the competition, because nothing screams “brilliant competitors” like discussing your plan with your opponent. (Although, to be fair, if they didn’t, Mike would’ve just stolen Blais’s from his notebook anyway.) Mike immediately declares that he would bang choose Jenn Carroll, because despite her crazy blowouts and monumental exit, she’s still hot a great chef. As it turns out, Blais too wants Jenn C, though not necessarily in a sexual way, as well as Angelo, also not necessarily in a sexual way.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who they think is awesome, because they’re forced to choose blind: each previously ousted chef’s amuse bouche is laid out before them, and they are to choose their teammates based on whose bouche amuses them the most. Mike is pretty blatant about simply attempting to pick out which one is Jenn’s (and which one isn’t Marcel’s) but the static generated by Blais’s hair interrupts their BFF connection and Mike ends up with three non-Jenn ladies, in the forms of Tiffani, Jamie, and Carla. (H/T to Psshwhatever for her brilliant and oh-so-telling tweet: “Funny that Mike always denigrates the female chefs and then just picked 3 of them, blind, based only on their food to help him.”) Blais gets a little closer to his original wishlist, successfully selecting Angelo in addition to Spike and Antonia. As Marcel leaves, everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief and toasts his departure with champagne and an impromptu dance party.
Now comes the important part: naming their restaurants. Blais, ever-the-whimsical (as he’ll be the first to tell you in a super serious voice as he comes close to tears and is clearly on the verge of vomiting), selects “Tongue & Cheek” as his restaurant’s name, which is both cute and kinda gross. Mike, in tribute to his youth, names his “Restaurant Iz,” after what we can only assume is his pre-op moniker.
Source: Videogum. Obviously.
On to the menus! Over on Team Iz, Mikey’s Angels’ suggestions are being roundly ignored by Captain Douche, who knows exactly what he wants: chocolate vinaigrette, plus some other stuff. Team Blais, on the other hand, is “ultra-collaborative” from the minute that tank of liquid nitrogen is opened. Blais’s plan is a protein explosion of sorts, to be capped off with a delicious Cap’n Crunch ice cream–wait, what’s that? I’m sorry, we’ve just gotten word from the godawful-decisions portion of Blais’s brain that he’ll be replacing Cap’n Crunch ice cream with foie gras ice cream instead. Fantastic. No chance that’ll turn out disgusting and lead all the judges to vomit on camera. None at all.
Enter Tom, who informs Mike that no one saw him getting into the finale. Like, nobody. His own mother is surprised that he has any skill. Shockingly, he has no such words for Blais, who’s pretty much been the favorite since before the cast was even announced. Now exit Tom, because it’s time for judging!
The cheftestants are set up at two different restaurants, each one with its own panel of judges. (Don’t worry—they’ll switch when they’re done!) Padma is captain of the blue team, which consists of legendary chefs Lydia Bastianich and Hubert Keller plus another guy who just so happens to be the man behind all the ridiculously unsubtle wine product placement. They begin at Tongue & Cheek and are treated to Blais’s “surf ‘n turf” menu which consists of:
Raw oyster with crème fraiche pearls
Raw hamachi with fried veal sweetbreads, garlic mayonnaise, and pickled celery
Pork belly, black cod cutlet, bone marrow, beets, Brussels sprouts, and kumquat
Beef short ribs with mushrooms, red cabbage marmalade, and celery root horseradish puree
Foie gras ice cream with cornbread and whipped mango
The dining went well, and we saw the judges thoroughly enjoying the food. You know who else saw them enjoying the food? Top Chef’s own Spike “Mata Hari” Mendelssohn, aka Spy-ke, who eavesdropped on the judges comments with all the subtlety of Ke$ha while rocking one of his trademark Carmen Sandiego fedoras. However, his skills as a dick secret agent proved to be extremely useful, as he convinced Richard to fix up his revamped dessert to make it look a little more fit for a fancy feast instead of just looking like Fancy Feast.
At the same time, Tom and his crew—Gail Simmons, Art Smith, and host of the upcoming Top Chef Masters and all-around hot guy Curtis Stone are being served Mike’s Italian-influenced menu (did you know Mike was Italian? In other shocking news, Tiffany’s from Beaumont) of:
Spiced beets with mozzarella truffle and chocolate vinaigrette
Halibut with kumquat marmalade, cauliflower puree, and pancetta crumbs
Glazed pork shoulder with pepperoni sauce(!), roasted cabbage, and turnips
Rosemary caramel custard and pine nuts with citrus, celery, and apple
After catching their breath from multiple foodgasms, the judges took their place at the judgement table that totally hides the fact that they are wearing pajama pants. The judges had high praise for nearly all the food, which is especially meaningful for Mike because it is the first time he has actually pleased a woman. Gail admits to bathing in Mike’s pepperoni sauce because it makes her skin glow and rack huge. Tom can barely contain himself, exclaiming to Richard, “Hachi machi! That was some great hamachi!”
It’s time for the big announcement and friends and family gather around for the results. Noticeably absent was Richard’s wife who was only moments away from giving birth to a fauxhawk. Fortunately, Mike’s wife, who is 69 times more attractive than he should be able to get, could make it because she refuses to spawn with Mike as giving birth to a child who inherits his neck-size is not a risk she is willing to take. Channeling her inner-Seacrest, Padma pauses dramatically before revealing who will win the 200,000 Buitoni raviolis. The winner is… RICHARD BLAIS! Mikey rolls his eyes, Richard tears up, Antonia smiles with a blunt between her lips, Padma and Gail make out, Tom and Tre rub each others bald heads, and Carla runs around in a circle screaming “Beeeeeeeeef Tongue.”
And so, another season of Top Chef comes to an end. Blais can finally emerge from the padded cell where he’s spent the past two-and-a-half years in his rocking chair, contemplating his loss, and Mike and his wife can finally consummate their marriage, much to her chagrin. But, since only Blais leaves the show with a prize, we think it only fair that Mike at least get a musical sendoff, and so, from one New Jersey-ite to another… goodbye, JD. You truly did go down in a blais of glory.
DahlELama and The_Obvious both wanted Richard to win, but, more importantly, wanted Mike to lose. They hope that Carla will one day get her own show, preferably a variety hour featuring humorous skits, whimsical songs, and animal guests. They wish Antonia many happy snacks and choose never to think about Tiffany again.
Hi gang. Hope you have had a great day and are ready for a wonderful evening. Since we were talking about bad TV today I am going to share some of my favorite 70s cheese.
Last weekend we here at Crasstalk waged a mighty battle to find the worst that modern music has to offer. Unfortunately, we also discovered that many of us are big fans of these horrible songs, even if we will only admit it on the internet. I will not name the person who likes the Little River Band, but it was really that bad. So, after some discussion, it was decided that Crasstalk needed a regular column to celebrate bad taste. So I bring you Guilty Pleasures, a series for you to confess the darkest secrets of your cultural soul. This week we will discuss the very worst in television. There is plenty of bad TV to choose from, but don’t be bashful. Show us the absolute worst stuff you watch when you have the house to yourself. I’ll show mine first, just to make it fair.
A special thanks to LoremIpsumDolor, Mean_Ol_Liberal, and Daisy_Sage for coming up with this idea.
This is Jericho. Yes, I know it is terrible, but The Grand Inquisitor pretty much likes any show that starts with a nuclear war in the first episode.
On sort of a similar note, I am the only person in the entire country who liked this show.
Back off, nerds. I’m not gonna argue about it.
All right, I have bared my soul. Now it’s your turn.
Just when it seemed the reality show genre had hit its peak, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” appeared on the scene two years ago on the Logo Network.
The show’s competitors are so talented and have to be at the top of their creativity game given one week could have them dressing up as both the bride and the groom or impersonating a celebrity on “The Snatch Game.”
Now in its third season, the competition puts top drag queens from around the country against one another where they are put through a number of challenges to show off their “charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.”
One of the most memorable contestants from the second season was Pandora Boxx. Ms. Boxx was a personal favorite because of her sense of humor and her fun looks on the runway. Plus, she does an amazing impersonation of Carol Channing.
Although she didn’t win the top spot during season two, she did walk away with the “Miss Congeniality” honors as determined by fans of the show. She also is a member of the faculty on “RuPaul’s Drag U.”
Ms. Boxx and I recently exchanged e-mails where I asked about her drag career, how she keeps going, and what’s next.
LeftCoastLady:How did you get started in doing drag? Pandora Boxx: I was walking down the street and it was a drive-by lip glossing. My life was never the same.
LCL: How did your family and friends react? PB: My friends thought it was different but loved it. They were all theater geeks like me so they got it. My family took longer to get into it. Once my Mom got the VIP treatment at the club I worked at, she loved it!
LCL:How has that changed over time, especially given your success? PB: Everyone in my life is really happy for my success but they all still treat me the same. Though now when I get recognized they think it’s funny.
LCL:What keeps it fun/interesting for you? PB: I love making people laugh and have a good time so that makes it fun for me.
LCL: One thing that many folks may not realize is the level of effort and dedication that goes into being a drag performer. Can you talk about what you have to do to get ready? PB: There is so much work that no one sees! You’ve got to come up with the concept then you have to create the outfit, and the music mix for it. Hair, makeup. It’s a lot! Like my Bloody Mary dress for my Absolut commercial took about three weeks from planning to completion.
LCL: What made you want to audition for “RuPaul’s Drag Race”? PB: I wanted to take my drag to the next level. Also because RuPaul’s name was attached, I knew it was going to be something special. I really wanted to see if my style of drag resonated with people. Fortunately it did! I’m so grateful for what the show has done for me.
LCL:How did the experience change your performances after the show? PB: I’m still the same performer but it definitely invigorated what I do. I was going to quit drag before Drag Race because I felt it was going anywhere. I put it out into the universe that if drag didn’t change for me I was done. Well, the universe clearly said, “keep those panties on Fake Lady!” It changed in the biggest way possible so I found my passion for drag again.
Pandora Boxx as Carol Channing on "RuPaul's Drag Race"
LCL:Do you keep in touch with your fellow contestants from season 2?
PB: I do! It’s hard because we are all so busy and live all over the country but that’s why I love Facebook and texting! There will always be a sisterhood there because of our shared experience.
LCL:What advice or tips would you give to someone thinking of becoming a drag performer? PB: Run away! Just kidding. Drag is a lot of work. If you do it well. Just know that. My biggest advice is to have fun with it. Be true to yourself and you can never go wrong.
Pandora Boxx has a lot of exciting things on the horizon, which you can learn more about by visiting her website, following her Twitter feed, or liking her Facebook page.
Debuting in 1988, The Wonder Years ran for six seasons; there would have been a 7th, but the actors walked out because you sang out of key. Way to go, buttheads. As it happens, The Wonder Years holds special meanings for the two of us, as Kevin and Winnie, who (spoiler alert!) ultimately ended up apart, were actually two of the first loves of our young lives. Find out what happened to them and the rest of the cast with a little help from your friends! (Your friendship was implied when you signed our yearbooks even though you just wrote “best wishes” and “have a neat summer.”) Continue reading →
Who’s in charge of you? Well, if you were watching TV in the late 80s, it was probably Charles, the last-name-less caretaker of the Powell family on the hit TV show Charles in Charge.
But wait! Are you sitting down? Find a seat, we’ll wait. You are about to have your mind BLOWN. Charles was in charge of a different family before the Powells you know and love! That’s right–the original incarnation of Charles in Charge featured Scott Baio babysitting a whole different family…who presumably wasn’t attractive enough to stick it out on network TV. The “Pembrokes” were “displaced” to Seattle, leaving Charles in charge of a whole new household that now consisted the Powell family–Walter, Ellen, Jamie, Sarah, and Alex. And since we know that attractive people the Powells are the only ones who matter, we thought it worthy to check in and see how they were doing over 20 years later.
Scott Baio as Charles
Oh, Scott Baio. Charles. Chachi. You were such a wonderful teen idol, and then… well, actually, we’re still a little unclear on what’s happened to you since then. You certainly had a great start—playing the title character of Bugsy Malone in a cult children’s gangster musical which co-starred Jodie Foster when you were sixteen is so, so much better than anything we could possibly make up for you—but then, weird TV movies, including one based on a Danielle Steele novel? Co-hosting a VH1 show about other former teen idols with not careers? Getting into fights with The Ladyblog That Shall Not Be Named? A reality show based on your relationship failures in life? But oh, Scott Baio, we can’t stay mad at you. For Bob Loblaw, all is forgiven.
Willie Aames as Buddence “Buddy” Lembeck
Will.i.Aames was born Albert William Upton in Huntington, CA (sweet name change, brah!) and rapidly became a child star, originating the roles of Leonard Unger on The Odd Couple and Tommy Bradford on Eight is Enough. The only actor to accompany Scott Baio through both phases of the show, Aames took the news that Charles in Charge wouldn’t be trying again with a third, even more attractive family harder than anyone else in the group. He turned toward alcohol and cocaine and away from haircuts. Eventually, he found Jesus (turns out he’d been hiding behind the couch, Peek-a-boo!) and re-invented himself as Bibleman, a Christian superhero who starred in videos and toured the country for nine freaking years (God could have done it in a few days), while also becoming an ordained minister. Recent years hit him hard, and in 2008, he filed for both bankruptcy and divorce from his second wife and attempted to commit suicide. Classy and Aames don’t often go together, but a year later he hosted an estate sale to save his home from foreclosure, a much classier move than Dustin Diamond’s t-shirt and porn sale. Once he’d established himself as a financial mastermind, he became a licensed financial advisor just last year. (We recommend doing the exact opposite of whatever he tells you to do.) Today he now works as a—wait for it—member of the entertainment staff on Oceania Cruise Line, acting as “a social host for daytime and nighttime activities, introducing shows and interacting with guests throughout the day, and he’ll sit with passengers for dinner.”
James T. Callahan as Walter Powell
Sadly, the Powell patriarch passed away from esophageal cancer at the age of 76, but not before appearing in every single movie and TV show known to man, including: Dennis the Menace, Perry Mason, Route 66, Twilight Zone, My Favorite Martian, The Fugitive, MASH, The Rockford Files, Bosom Buddies, Lou Grant, Quincy, M.E., Remington Steele, Little House on the Prairie, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Newhart, Growing Pains, Doogie Howser, M.D., Golden Girls, Picket Fences, Caroline in the City, The Practice, ER, and a billion more.
Sandra Kerns as Ellen Powell
Poor Sandra Kerns, forever in the shadow of big sister Joanna Kerns, the Marsha to her Jan. Joanna had already landed her career-making role as Maggie Seaver, blond-haired mom to three (well, eventually four, but does anybody really count Chrissy?) hijinks-filled children, on Growing Pains leaving Sandra to sit in her dark bedroom, decorated the same way since she was a little girl, brushing her hair obsessively, repeating “one day it will be my turn, one day it will be my turn” over and over. Two years later, her time had finally come in the form of Ellen Powell, a blond-haired mom to three hijinks-filled children on Charles in Charge. D’oh. As soon as Charles in Charge ended, Sandra took the advice of her inner demons, and with hairbrush in hand, took off into the mountains, never to be heard from again.
All right, all right, fine. So none of this is true. She’s not even related to Joanna Kerns. The true story is she retired from acting and lives in California with her stuntman husband and two children. But how boring is that? She did lose the bangs and get veneers, though.
Nicole Eggert as Jamie Powell
A picture’s worth a thousand words, so enjoy our 3,000-word summary of Nicole Eggert. Just in case you’re not reading the right words in our pictures, we’ll elaborate: Nicole Eggert is hot. How hot? So hot that she was Miss Universe in the petite division. (Real thing! Not made up!) So hot that she and her boob job starred on Baywatch. So hot that she was briefly engaged to Corey Haim, may he rest in peace. OK, so maybe her weight gain and subsequent participation in Celebrity Fit Club aren’t hot in the traditional sense, but we admire any woman who can address body snark with a serious sense of humor. She is married and expecting her 2nd child to be delivered in slow motion this summer.
Josie Davis as Sarah Powell
No one really looked twice at bossy, brainy Sarah on Charles in Charge, but then again, no one really expected that she’d turn out to be super hot with a bangin’ body. Fortunately for America, the visionary Aaron Spelling looked past the metaphorical glasses-and-a-ponytail and cast Josie Davis as Camille, the very last foil on the way to David and Donna’s happily ever after in the last season of Beverly Hills, 90210. Ultimately, Davis was no match for being the daughter of the show’s creator the beautiful Donna, but Spelling did cast her in one more show called Titans before dying and leaving Davis to forge a career on her own. When trying to find out what she’s currently up to, we told Josie “Pics or it didn’t happen!” and boy, did she deliver. For a very detailed resume and something to keep you warm at night, head on over to her website and check out a pictorial of her current career.
Alexander Polinsky as Adam Powell
If there is one thing we know for certain about Alexander Polinsky, it’s that his leaning-on-chairs skills did not decline with age. Legend has it that on an unseasonably warm September night in an abandoned McDonald’s on the Lower East Side, he defeated AC Slater in a sit-off. (AC met his demise when Alex exploited his inability to properly sit in a forward-facing position.) Alex was young when he began his work on Charles in Charge so to keep him busy between takes, the director handed him some Elmer’s glue and popsicle sticks. Crew members were floored when he made a perfectly scaled replica of the Great Pyramids. Alex finessed his talents, studying with a masturbator master mold-maker and currently works at a design studio creating movie props while also lending his voice to many cartoons.
Ellen Travolta as Lillian
Ellen Travolta, of the Crazy Travoltas, essentially made a living playing Scott Baio’s/Chachi’s mom wherever possible, so when Baio’s career took a dive, that was the end for Lil. Ellen had a rough childhood, her dreams of having long hair constantly dashed as she was repeatedly forced to chop it off to make human-hair wigs for brother John. She currently performs with her husband, Jack Bannon, in a local theater near their vacation home in Idaho. Their most recent production of Cats beat out the all-Baldwin cast of The Sound of Music for the coveted Thea-ater Tot Award.
DahlELama and The_Obvious were once roadies for a band called Mouserat. Well, they mostly just hung around the van after gigs and bogarted everyone’s Doritos.
This fall I stumbled on a recipe for homemade ricotta. I had no idea that making ricotta was even an option in an apartment kitchen, let alone a kitchen that can barely fit two people standing side-by-side. But there it was – an incredibly easy ricotta recipe on Epicurious. And, in the comments following the recipe, a woman talked about making bread from the whey left over from making the ricotta. Holy shit.
Very slowly bring the milk, cream and salt to a boil on moderate heat and stir occasionally to keep it from burning. Then lower the heat, add the lemon juice, stir it constantly and watch it curdle.
At this point you will think, “Wow, what a mess. This was a tragic waste of time.”
But, continue on anyway. Line a colander with the cheesecloth, and place it over the bowl. Slowly dump the curdled mess into the colander.
Let it sit for an hour. Then you will be in awe of yourself. You will pat yourself on the back while simultaneously calling your friends, co-workers, parents, ex or current lovers, your veterinarian, and your old college roommate.
You just made homemade ricotta!
And not just any homemade ricotta, you will have made the best ricotta that you have ever tasted. Slightly lemony, thick and soft, ricotta. (See top photo.)
Take a bow, and then get back to work – because collected in the bowl is a lot of whey, and you’re going to make 3 loaves of incredible Italian bread with it. (Recipe via Eating Small Potatoes with a few tweaks)
Homemade Italian Bread
5 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp. salt
1 tbl. sugar
4 1/2 tsp. yeast 3/4 hot whey
1 cup warm water
5 tbls. melted butter
Additional ingredients (to your preference) are cornmeal and sesame seeds.
Add dry ingredients to the bowl and stir.
2. Heat the whey and water in a saucepan. Pour butter into the whey/water mixture.
3. Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients. Stir well until combined. (At least 5 minutes.)
4. Divide dough into 3 loaves. Pat the dough into a rectangle and then roll up into a cylinder. Pinch seams and edges, then shape.
5. Place the loaves onto a sheet pan sprinkled with cornmeal. Cover and rise in a warm place for 1 hour.
6. Paint the loaf with egg white and sprinkle with sesame seeds.
7. Bake at 425F for 30 minutes.
Amaze your friends and astound your enemies with your culinary prowess.
And leave your own recipes, because after all, it’s Recipe Sunday where we are all about food.
