politics

378 posts

Sarah Palin Writes Like an 8th Grader and Why This Isn’t as Funny as it Sounds

I’m not poring over all 24,000 Sarah Palin emails. That’s just lunacy. Especially since the political wonder team of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore think it’s a repulsive thing to do, because if you can’t use Kutcher and Moore as a barometer then you’re just doomed. But one thing that caught my eye is what’s been reported about her writing ability. You would think that the same person who wrote speaking notes on her palm and who has a habit of saying the equivalent of monkey-speech after being hit in the head with a log, could barely pick up a pen without becoming confused – But you would be wrong, so very wrong.

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Marie Antoinette Republicans to Low-Income Families, “Let Them Eat Azaleas!”

House Republicans are expected to vote this week for the fiscal year 2012 Agriculture appropriations bill, that has a provision on page 13 requiring the National Arboretum maintain a very specific portion of its azalea collection, because flowers are pretty and smell nice. Why does this matter? While provisions are being made to keep us fully stocked in flora, the bill would cut $832 million from the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) program which provides food assistance to low-income mothers and children nationwide. Continue reading →

There Are Now 10 States Where Abortion is ‘Virtually Illegal’

While Roe v. Wade is still technically the law of the land, there are ten states trying their hardest to make sure an abortion is more difficult to obtain than ever. In some states, women don’t even have reasonable access to abortion. In others, women are being prosecuted for attempting to terminate their pregnancies in non-medical settings, presumably for lack of viable options.  Would it be fair to only have three dentists in the entire state of Kansas?

Sarah Palin Thinks You Have $11.00 You’d Love to Shove in her Pocket

The queen of all media and synergistic brain vomit, Sarah Palin, would like you to come see her at the movies! Yes, I can’t think of a better way to lobotomize myself, so sure, let’s all go to the movies and watch Sarah Palin dance around with a crown of doughnuts on her head while she winks and garbles human language and just basically runs around in a movie about lies and magic hair bumpits. Fantastic!

On with the show!

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Zombie Paul Revere Has a Message for Sarah Palin

After making a serious flub and mangling American history for all to see, you would think that a person would keep quiet, and you know, maybe let the story just fade into the ether without further comment or display of utter, complete asinine commentary. But, well, that wouldn’t be the Sarah Palin that we all know and love. No sirree. The Sarah Palin rule of thumb is to stick to your story no matter how silly, and hope all the magical beans and dumbfuckery that exists on Wikipedia will carry you through the embarrassing irony of speaking wrongly about historic America while you have the Constitution emblazoned on the side of your bus of miraculous stupid.

Paul Revere would like to have a word. Continue reading →