Movies

407 posts

Coming Attractions: This Means War; or Two Cute Guys Fight Over Elle Woods Inexplicably!

Well, no one’s going to object to Chris Pine and Tom Hardy parading around being all hot and macho and stuff in a movie talkie about blowing things up and flexing their tattooed biceps will they? Certainly not. Will it matter that the movie premise is the dumbest thing ever? NO WAY! Chris Pine and Tom Hardy will be walking sex sticks wrapped in orgasm butter, which means there’s at least a 75% chance one or both will be naked before this stupid thing ends! Woot! Continue reading

Unhappily Ever After

Today’s A.V. Club AVQ&A is about unhappy endings, and I’m curious to hear what the Crassholes have to say about this topic. Mainstream American films end happily virtually every time. It’s also a safe bet that the happy ending will involve a heterosexual coupling–we can leave that discussion for Crasstalk’s Gay Day. But let’s expand the discussion to television and literature as well. What are some of your favorite unhappy endings? What unhappy endings don’t work for you or feel as contrived and manipulative as a forced happy ending?

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A Review of Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia

Starring Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and Keifer Sutherland, Melancholia is a movie less about the end of the world and more about the relationship between two sisters. However, if you are looking for a chick flick or disaster movie then this is not it.

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In A World Where Time Is Literally Money

Imagine a world where the aging gene has been isolated and deactivated for everyone on the planet. Everyone ages normally until they turn 25, and then aging simply stops… forever.

In order to prevent a situation like Star Trek’s Mark of Gideon episode, a device is implanted in all citizens to control how long they live. Rich people can buy as much life time as they want, years and years if they so choose, and the poor, well, sometimes they wake up and don’t have enough minutes to last the day. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities.

This is the world that Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) finds himself. Everyone is young, and since it’s Hollywood, most everyone is pretty. Will is a poor young man who is given a fortune of time, though too late to prevent his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as ‘time keepers.’ Continue reading