Well, that whole Dark Knight Rises thing was fun while it lasted. We’re now back to viewing poop-quakes on film.
Yeah, seriously? Did anyone see the last one? Hey, Movie Execs! I really want to see a show of hands if you saw Clash of the Titans, starring a blue donkey from Avatar, Liam Neeson, and Ralph Fiennes who have no holy business being in a franchise about CGI DUNG HEAPS exploding on film, while some nobody-persons yammer on about Gods and Krakens, and whatever other, stupid, awful, noxious things some dweeb thought of when he wasn’t putting boobs on a video game character in his spare time! Just what? What are those huge globs careening across the screen? Are they supposed to be Titans, or are they supposed to be huge globs splattered across the screen like a computerized autopsy? Because I’m thinking the latter. Whatever.
Everyone is screaming in this thing, probably because they saw snippets of the film as they were making it; Perseus is wearing Danny McBride’s hair, and then a great big ball of meteor comes to hopefully destroy everyone including the director, writer, and anyone else involved, even the guy who greenlit this riveting piece of film who’s asleep in his bed made of millions. This is the only just endgame for making such horrendous, piteous, crap. Oh, and if you ever do that to the Eurythmics Sweet Dreams again, I’m going to punch someone in the kidneys.
Spirit, out.
