Lauren

650 posts
Lauren "AKA Spirit Fingers" likes to talk about entertainment, politics, the news, the world, you know, the awesome stuff that makes us say, "Holy Crap! That's crazy...but I love it." Got a message, a writing gig, or need a freelancer? Email me at: [email protected] or find me here @CrassLauren.

The Hollywood Caller: “Can We Talk?”

joan_riversThis is my ideal day. Saturday morning: I love to get up to go to a museum. I always take a taxi, and only open the door into the bike lane. Because I love to see how many Citi Bike riders I can pick off. I love to spend mornings at MoMA, where I eat M&Ms and I sneeze on Jackson Pollocks, just to see who can tell. I try to get to a Mets game if they’re in town, because they have a great ticket plan: If you buy one, you get one free; if you buy two, they let you pitch. — Joan Rivers [Vulture]

Joan Rivers was an icon. She was controversial, acerbic, offensive sometimes, spot on often, and the last of the real “take no crap” broads in showbiz. No, not in Hollywood or the movies, or on television…showbiz. Showbiz meaning that she was a consummate performer. Brooklyn born, a Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College educated, and one of the quickest wits to walk the planet even at the age of 81. Rivers could get up on a stage in her twilight years and make the biggest “man’s man” blush as she regaled an audience with raunchy and ribald humor while dressed to the nines, heels in place, hair perfected, and face…a work of dizzying craftsmanship. And that’s all we’re going to say about that. Continue reading →

Please Know, World, Black Lives Do Matter

In the last week, this blogger has often been reduced to stunned silence and anguished utterances as she looked on with the entire world at the happenings in Ferguson, Missouri. To say that the images, information and lack thereof, coming out of this town have been enough to make one feel heartsick, rage-filled, and utterly helpless is an understatement. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: There Once Was a Funny Man…

robin_williams“You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.” This is the scene among many that made me laugh out loud during The Birdcage starring the wonderful Robin Williams. I can still see him doing every single one of those dance steps as he paraded hilariously across the stage. The other great scene had to do with a pot full of shrimp and a dinner not going to plan, and Williams, whom you could tell, ad libbing the entire thing. And that’s what he did. Robin Williams was a genius at improv — one of the best there ever was — but when it was time to get serious, he knew just how to break your heart as he did in Good Will Hunting, earning him the Oscar, and earlier in The World According to Garp among other stand out roles. And that’s just his dramatic work; he was a king at the animated voice, and had the timing of the Gods. Continue reading →

Hey, Remember That Time Rand Paul Ran Away from a Mexican Immigrant?

Everyone will in 2016. This week, never stand up guy, and always an International Man of Plagiarism, Rand Paul, ran away from a Mexican Immigrant DREAMer on the basis that she could potentially ask him a bunch of questions that could lead to his saying something about immigration that could maybe coincide or not with the contradicting statements he’s made about immigration reform. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: You Asked For It, You Got It

Sarah Palin is the Glenn Close of a new generation, she will not be ignored; comic book movies to woo everyone, just everyone; Blake Lively to throw her goop at you now; does “Kiefer” mean douche; magical, delightful, Idris to cast a spell; pirates to scream their way to hell and then back again; bunches of people get acting jobs; and your mom’s favorite book-turned-movie now starring people you’ve barely ever seen before. Continue reading →

What We’ve Learned So Far From FYI’s “Married At First Sight”

Since it’s all the rage to play armchair psychologist when it comes to dating and marriage, we figured we’d give our own instincts a workout as we viewed the much ballyhooed show, Married At First Sight. Haha! We’re going to learn so much! So much about people and relationships, and television, and things that may make us want to stick forks in our eyeballs from second-hand embarrassment!

But before we get into our revelations about the show, let’s briefly discuss what this show is. It’s touted as a “social experiment” wherein so called experts — a sexologist, psychologist, yadda, yadda — decide to use military grade comparison shopping to find and meld together six souls who’ve signed up to throw caution to the wind and marry the first body corpus shot out a cannon and hurled at them like a free t-shirt at an Aerosmith concert. What could go wrong, eh? Spoilers Included! Continue reading →

We’ll All Be to Blame if Kim Kardashian Makes $200 Million

kardashian_money

That’s it America. You need to be officially cut off. No, seriously. You no longer know how to spend money wisely. Haha! Not that you really ever did. Now, though, you’ve taken your ability to spend money on the most ridiculous of things and upped the ante by allowing Kim Kardashian, irredeemable money goblin, to rid you of hard earned dollars through her very own game app. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: AMC’s Better Call Saul Sets the Stage

Saul may never see Jesse again; The Strain gave us shivers and scares; so does Christopher Walken; True Detective to maybe speak Irish; 1970’s to birth a Gosling/Crowe thing with moustaches; Parenthood to make us cry even harder; George R.R. Martin’s favorite bird isn’t a raven; Disney to destroy animation forever; Elisabeth Hasselbeck spit-flecks as a Fox News robo-troll; and JayZ and Beyoncé to march into your living room while you eat noodles. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Yoo-hoo, Yahoo’s Calling…

Community Communes with Yahoo; Michael Bay’s movies make tons of money which is why he won’t be stopped ever; Shia LaBeouf terrorizes the city of New York, he’s Godzilla; Whoopi is the cheese that stands alone; Robot Punch Monster™ until the end of time; Star Trek finally finds a destination; “Get to the Choppah”…again, sigh; and Brett Ratner is Eddie Murphy’s own personal Michael Bay inspired harbinger of doom. Continue reading →