Aren’t we done with these people yet? No? Well then, Snooki found my bathing suit from 1993 and it fits her only slightly worse than it did me. (The Superficial)
Shoes. We all wear them. Although we might prefer to go shoeless much of the time, the realities of city streets, real jobs, and public bathroom cleanliness force us to slide our poor feet into something that forms a protective layer between them and the rest of the world.
What we put on our feet says a lot about us. Our shoes may be utilitarian or wildly impractical. Shoes are a terrific expression of our sartorial style, often serving as the reverse of the proverbial cherry on top of a sundae – a little wink and a smile far away from our faces. But they also tell tales of our purpose and intentions, of where we have been and where we might be heading.
Whether you collect them, covet them or abuse them, we want to see them. Show us your shoes.
(NOTE: just don’t use the word “shoes” in your reply. It trips up in the spam filter. Kthxsmooches.)
Just follow these helpful tips for image sharing, adapted from previous Photo Phriday instructions:
This is the magic computer code you use to make pictures appear: [img src=”PHOTO URL HERE”]. NOTE: Replace the brackets with the carrots < >.
And it’s a URL, not photo file. Crasstalk doesn’t accept files from your hard drive – only from the Internet. You can upload your photo to Facebook, Flickr, TinyPic, or any other online photo hosting site to generate a URL for the photo.
Also, be sure to add a few words of text with your picture so it doesn’t get tripped up in the site’s spam filter.
To pick up an image online, right click (or ctrl-click on a Mac) on an image and select “View Image.” Copy-and-paste the URL and plug it into the img src html code.
To upload the pictureyou found, this is what you type (again, replacing the brackets with the greater than and less than symbols < >):
Why does this lead me to this? (Go Fug Yourself and YouTube)
Do you do covers?
Make it stop. Please, make it stop.The breeding should stop, too.What is the head-to-ass algorithm here?If you were JT, would it take you two years to dump someone?
Good day, my bitches. How are you feeling today? Bitchy? Perfect! Me, too. Let’s commiserate over news about people who screw up the lives we wish we had. Continue reading →
PhotoPhriday started on a whim: while chatting in Crosstalk on TSTSNBN, I suggested we share pictures of our personal living spaces. A few people were game (if memory serves, Matty McBoy’s reply was, “I’m game”) and the photo sharing began.
We had such a good time peeking into the lives of our friends and neighbors that we turned it into a real game. Since then, we’ve shared pictures of ourselves, our shame, our art, our travels. Best of all, it is a great way to get to know the amazing people with whom we share our online time.
The rules are few:
Pictures are for sharing, not for snarking. No judgement, no jerks.
Each week, there is a theme and a host. The host selects the theme.
To host on Crasstalk, you must have an author account and you must write a short post about the theme. This should be done no later than Thursday evening and set to “pending” so the admins can schedule it to be published on Friday.
If you are new to our community and are a commenter, but do not have an author account, be patient. Hang out, comment, and participate in PhotoPhriday and on other threads. Once we know you, you have a better chance of being asked to host.
Hosting duties rotate. The current host selects the following week’s host from among those participating in PhotoPhriday. You aren’t obligated to host, but it is really easy!
If there is no host, one of the admins or I will jump in for a week. If you host and can’t find someone who agrees to do it for the next week, please let me know. You can contact me at [email protected].
If you don’t want to “out” yourself, be sure to remove personal details before taking and uploading a picture. Please don’t out others: don’t post pictures of other people, their children, or anyone who may not want to have their mug on the Internet.
No NSFW photos. Sorry, pervs.
Instructions for how to upload and share a picture should be included in each PhotoPhriday theme post.
Oh, and the spelling? It is one word, no space, because it had to work as a tag on the old site: #photophriday (#pourafortyonthefloor), and it is misspelled because I was trying to be cute. Now we’re stuck with it and every time I see it, I think, “phuck.”
This week’s host is DogsOfWar. He dropped no hints about the theme, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be about clouds.
Sue me. I can’t stop watching Charlie Sheen clips. I can’t help myself from clicking on clip after clip of Sheen’s now-infamous interviews with ABC’s Good Morning America. Like this. And this. And, oh heaven help me, this, from 20/20.
Watching a celebrity self-destruct in real time has become a bit of blood sport in our tabloid-frenzied culture. Even WebMD is in on the action. We are transfixed by the train wreck, by the tragedy of witnessing potential unfulfilled, opportunity squandered, and the pitfalls of privilege.
Sheen’s various interviews to media outlets (ABC, CNN, Radar Online, among others) have generated a lot of buzz, but people have been talking about Charlie Sheen’s bad behavior for a long time. Sheen’s drug, gambling, and sex addictions have been high-larious fodder for more than a decade. Here’s a flashback to a November 2000 episode of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire,” featuring a chubby Drew Carey, a thin Alec Baldwin, and knowing laughter with Reg over Sheen’s troubles.
Many celebs, world-weary and drug-wise themselves, take the “he’s an adult, it’s his life” stance, including recovering addict (and Mel Gibson defender) Robert Downey, Jr.
As I was looking at clips of Sheen’s media blitzkrieg, I couldn’t help remembering the early days of Charlie Sheen, when he was the youngest addition to a roster of hot young Hollywood stars including Johnny Depp, Rob Lowe, and the Coreys. Too young to belong to the Brat Pack with his brother, Emilio Estevez, Sheen stepped out of the shadows of his famous acting family in iconic roles in “Lucas,” “Platoon,” and “Wall Street.” My girlhood crush on Charlie Sheen evaporated sometime around 1990, long before his current troubles, but about the time his film career took an unfortunate turn. I’m guessing “Hot Shots” happened when his need for hookers and blow took over as his primary vocation. This little primer on the glory days of Charlie Sheen is for the young readers who’ve only known the cranked up, Hawaiian shirt wearing, wife beating, piece of shite we see before us now.
Early in his career, Sheen racked up a series of strong roles in great films (and if you say 1984’s “Red Dawn” isn’t a great film, we’re fighting).
Here’s how I’d like to remember Sheen (and Corey Haim, for that matter, on the banana seat bike). In 1986’s “Lucas,” he plays a classic clean-cut jock with a soft side. Part of Sheen’s charm in those heady early days was his apparent effortlessness on film.
He won acclaim for his role in Oliver Stone’s“Platoon” (1986) and worked with Stone again in a lead role as Bud Fox, a wanna-be player striving for the finer things in life in “Wall Street” (1987).
Sheen continued work in 80s classics, including “Young Guns,” “Eight Men Out,” and “Navy Seals,” churning out over 20 movies before the end of the decade. The 1990s marked a turn in his career, from dramas to comedies.
So was Sheen ever funny? If you’ve somehow watched his television show (let’s pretend you haven’t), that is a legitimate question. He told CNN’s Piers Morgan that he is able to make Two and a Half Men so damn funny because he lives such a crazed lifestyle. Everyone on it says knows coke makes you funnier. Here’s a clip from “Major League II.” Decide for yourself.
Perhaps you like your comedy a little less subtle, in which case I recommend the 1993 vintage “Hot Shots! Part Deux.”
His appearance in “Loaded Weapon” (also 1993) was mercifully brief.
It only gets worse from there, except for a small cameo in “Being John Malkovich” (1999).
By this time, Sheen’s film career was essentially over as he transitioned to television, starring in Spin City in the early 2000s as a replacement for the ailing Michael J. Fox. For me, his best and most prophetic work was in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” with Jennifer Grey’s old nose.
Good morning to you! What a night! Dancing Queen and Missing Peace are passed out in the corner and confetti is floating in their champagne glasses. Let’s let them sleep it off – they deserve it! Although the ceremony was bad, you made it great by joining us for an epic live blog of the red carpet and the awards. We knew Francaway (the terrible monster cobbled together from the lifeless corpse of James Franco and the manic horse-muppet, Anne Hathaway) would be awful and there were few surprises for the winners this year – all the excitement was on the red carpet.
I’m peeling off the false lashes to take a closer look at last night’s fashion in the semi-sober light of day. Below are some of the most notable looks of the night. Who did you love? Who did you hate (we don’t say “hate” – how about “detest” or “want to stuff into the trunk of a car heading into Missouri meth country”)? Click on the images, below, to get a closer look – all the better to snark with, my dears.
The WTF Award goes to…..Melissa Leo! The Best Supporting Actress winner is my pick for the absolute worst dressed. Everything was wrong with her look – the cut, the fabric, this slit up the center, the appropriateness for the event. You don’t want to go down in Oscars fashion history for wearing a giant homage to what’s left on the table after a country fair bake sale. She was heavily favored to win and should have ramped it up about ten notches. She also could have been less annoying while accepting her award (like she didn’t know she’d win – pssssshhaawww).
WTF, Leo. W.T.F.
The Bad Award goes to…Scarlett Johannson. It was not the worst – see directly above. (Are you still drunk?) It was just bad. Bad color, bad back, bad hair and no boobs. ScarJo, your big tickets are the reason we tune in and we want to see them. You might think Helena Bonham Carter would win this award, but I actually give her a pass because she’s delightfully nutty and my expectations for her are very low. She rarely disappoints because she’s set the bar mere inches off the ground. Also notable horribleness goes to Kathryn Bigelow and her sweater dress.
Dolce and Gabbana done wrong.My girl crush.
The Good Award goes to…like five people. Reese Witherspoon and Camila Alves are my favorites of the night, but then I like the classics, the looks that will stand up over the test of time. If Reese is a little tame for you, how about Mila Kunis? At first, I was torn over the purple and the lace and the little boob-cup detail, but the more I looked at it, the more I liked it. Now I love it. The shape of the dress looks fantastic on her, though it would be hard to go wrong on that girl. My other favorite of the night is Jennifer Hudson. Wow. She looked fan-freaking-tastic. Plus, Mila and JHud were on point with the color trends of the night – red (Bullock, Anne Horseface, Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Lawrence) and purple (Portman and the aforementioned ScarJo). Abandoned was the “green with envy” look that we saw at the Golden Globes.
J Hud looking fab.
Simple dress, perfect cut, great hair.
As we noted last night, there was a serious lack of bling. Is it because of the economy? Are the stars not even allowed to borrow jewelry anymore? LiLo ruins everything.
Finally, a word with all the hairstylists in Hollywood. With limited exception, the hair on the ladies looked like it had been through a hurricane. That is NOT CUTE. When wearing a formal gown before millions of people, looking like you just woke up after a rough night is not acceptable and yet, so many women were sporting that look. If they didn’t do the undone Bardot look, then the tight bun was the other option, a look which is very severe on most women. Were they influenced by the ballerina chic in Black Swan? The boring hair and lack of baubles left us feeling more like the morning after than the main event.
"May I show you to your seat?"Portman wearing port wine.This hot bitch can do no wrongThis drew mixed reactions.Speaking of hot bitches...Love the dress, but Mandy Moore?Camila Alves, best dressed and tressed.Living well is the best revenge.One word: Baywatch.You cannot wear that bridesmaid's dress again.Bellatrix is a character, not a lifestyle choice.Patrick Bateman is less scary.Okay, scarier than Patrick Bateman.So over this look. Moving on...When your stylist hates you (wedding dress #68).Older Goop with SleevesMatching boob and hair parts? No.No.No.Yes.
The Oscars are three days away tomorrow and there’s not a carbohydrate in sight in Hollywood. Luckily we don’t have to squeeze into an Armani Prive because, yes, alcohol counts as a carb and we’re already drunk with anticipation. Or maybe we’re drunk with gin. Either way, we’re drunk.
You are invited to get drunk with us on Sunday, February 27th, for a liveblog of Oscar night, starting with the red carpet arrivals on E! (6 ET/3 PT) and switching over to ABC when the Academy Awards ceremony begins (8 ET/5 PT). We’re dying to see what Sandra Bullock wears on the red carpet and whether her hair stylist is smart enough to lose the heavy bangs. We’ll save that discussion for our fashion rundown, coming soon. In the meantime, you know the drill: we’re handicapping the nominees.
Today’s category: Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
Last year, Sandra Bullock won for The Blind Side, which we still cannot believe, because that was some Lifetime Movie bullshit, but whatever. We don’t hold it against her: that girl needed some validation to get her through the complete tabloid clusterfuck that exploded days after the 2010 Oscars.
Nominee: Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right
Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right
Advantage: Wouldn’t she be fun to get drunk with? We love Bening and have been disappointed to see her lose – twice – to Hilary Swank. We have a thing against chipmunk teeth. That’s one of the many reasons why we detest Miley Cyrus so much, but we digress. This is about real actresses. Bening is always terrific and we felt she turned in the best performance in this mediocre movie.
Disadvantage: She has no chance. Zero. This is not an Oscar-worthy performance, nor is it an Oscar-worthy film. We hope she gets drunk at the Vanity Fair party after the ceremony and tells Jack Nicholson to stop mugging for the cameras from his front-row seat.
Nominee: Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole
Nicole Kidman in The Rabbit Hole
Advantage: Kidman’s performance was nuanced: as a grieving mother, she was neither sappily sympathetic nor acidic and abrasive, but moved between emotional extremes with ease. She’s making a gradual career comeback by choosing smaller movies and roles (almost always playing a tormented mother). By laying off the Botox and lip filler and ditching the harsh blonde hair for a more natural red (please write this down, LiLo), Kidman seems poised to once again dazzle us with her abilities instead of distract us with her other “work.”
Disadvantage: This film barely registered on the radar. Kidman is a capable actress, but is sometimes better known for generating Oscar buzz for her couture than her performances. The Academy does love a depressing film and performances fraught with pain and angst, but this movie has little traction and we suspect voters want to wait for a bigger film to reward Kidman with another Oscar.
Nominee: Jennifer Lawrence for Winter’s Bone
Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone
Advantage: Winter’s Bone is the little meth-fueled engine that could, chugging through awards ceremonies and generating a lot of buzz along the way. Lawrence buried her sexpot body under layers of dirty clothes and backwoods depression, delivering a raw, understated performance in a country film noir that might have won her an Oscar in a non-Swan year. She learned how to fight and skin squirrels for the role – can you see prissy Portman doing that? We raise our glasses to you, Jennifer Lawrence.
Disadvantage: Say it with us, Jennifer: “It is an honor just to be nominated, especially among such talented actors.” We hope Lawrence doesn’t get too commercial, a real worry given that she’s appearing in the next installment of the X-Men series. She’s proven she can handle tougher roles – if she makes good choices, she might be back at the Oscars again.
Nominee: Natalie Portman for Black Swan
Natalie Portman in Black Swan
Advantage: This bitch has it locked down and she knows it. Pregnancy glow? We think not. That’s pure superiority shine, with a touch of gloating gleam. Portman is insufferable and self-aggrandizing, which makes her our idol, but her year of preparation for this role served her well. Her performance was more than physically demanding: Portman was able to maintain the emotional tension and uncertainty of a ballerina struggling with her grasp of reality in this psychological thriller. Bitch deserves it and we’ll have a celebratory drink for her pregnant, tiny ass.
Disadvantage: Portman is insufferable and self-aggrandizing. Did we already mention that? Her Golden Globes acceptance speech gave us a preview of Oscars night and this new equation: self-centered actress + self-satisified pregnant lady + award recognition = awkward celebratory ego masturbation on live television. We don’t want to see that again. But we will watch one of our favorite memes again:
Nominee: Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine
Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine
Advantage: If you ever see Michelle Williams in a zombie-alien-superhero-save-the-earth summer blockbuster, stock up on pork-n-beans because the end days are nigh. Her delicate beauty and easy smile belie the raw emotion she brings to each role. If you’ve ever loved someone passionately, only to have that love erode over time while still clinging to the shell of the relationship and the memories of what was (as in, have you ever been married?), Williams’ performance in Blue Valentine may be hard to watch.
Disadvantage: Williams has made her film career by choosing tough roles in smaller pictures and, as we cautioned for Geoffrey Rush for Best Supporting Actor, being consistently good can be bad at the Oscars. Blue Valentine lost some traction in a prolonged fight with the Motion Picture Association of America over an NC-17 rating. Williams will be back, though probably not for her next role as Marilyn Monroe. We’re not drunk enough to see that working.
Our pick: Natalie Portman for Black Swan. She deserves it for her excellent work. Being both insufferable and in possession of an annoying laugh doesn’t hurt one’s chances at the Oscars. Just ask Julia Roberts.
What do you think? Is Portman for Best Actress the most obvious “lock” this year? Might there be an upset? Would Portman give the naming rights to her child for an Oscar?
A long time ago, on a web site far, far down in page views, a group of rebel commenters won an early victory against the evil Dentonian Empire. Breaking the fourth wall, they began sharing personal photos, first of their homes, then of themselves. As the Death Gawk imploded, crushed under the weight of a giant Trident ad, the rebels fled to far corners of the Internet, finding safe harbor on a host planet, Crasstalk. A new hope was born, and with it, an urge to strengthen the alliance through photo sharing.
That’s right kids, on both counts: I’m a closet nerd and it is PhotoPhriday! Tonight’s theme: geeking out. What makes you a nerd? Something you read? Something you collect? What are you currently geeking out over?
Uploading pictures takes a simple Jedi mind trick, since there is no insert picture option in WordPress.
Just follow these helpful tips, adapted from previous PhotoPhriday instructions:
This is the magic computer code you use to make pictures appear: [img src=”PHOTO URL HERE”]. NOTE: Replace the brackets with the carrots < >.
And it’s a URL, not photo file. Crasstalk doesn’t accept files from your hard drive – only from the Internet. You can upload your photo to Facebook, Flickr, TinyPic, or any other online photo hosting site to generate a URL for the photo.
Also, be sure to add a few words of text with your picture so it doesn’t get tripped up in the site’s spam filter.
To pick up an image online, right click (or ctrl-click on a Mac) on an image of Carrie Fisher When She Was Hot and select “View Image.” Copy-and-paste the URL and plug it into the img src html code.
To upload the picture of Carrie Fisher When She Was Hot you found, this is what you type (again, replacing the brackets with the greater than and less than symbols < >):
Most sites serve up a fresh plate of gossip every morning. They are staffed by people whose job it is to cut and paste links into some sort of bulleted list, proper spelling and punctuation optional. I have a real job, so you get the same bulleted list with slightly fewer typos, much later in the day. And not every day. I have a life to go with that job.
