Ugly Gossip

Good day, my bitches. How are you feeling today? Bitchy? Perfect! Me, too. Let’s commiserate over news about people who screw up the lives we wish we had.

This is ugly if you think stupidity is ugly. How did Britney Spears manage to give the dullest interview to Out since ever? THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE, BRIT. Take the gum outta your mouth, send yer daddy on a snack cake run, and say something interesting.  To their credit, the gays at Out did manage to wrangle a comb through her weave. (Celebrity Beehive)

Here’s a quick, link-free court mandated update on three uglies: Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, and Charlie Sheen.

• No plea on the necklace for LiLo
• Live streaming “no contest” plea for Gibson this Friday
• Continued pleas for help for Sheen

On to baby news.

• Not having a baby is Taylor Momsen.  She does, however, have a beer gut which makes me far happier than a baby bump would. (The Superficial)

• You might think Posh is not having a baby, but surprise! Trapped under three layers of extra small Spanx and sealed in size 0 leather pants, there is a micro human in the Altoids tin Victoria Beckham calls a uterus. This is insane, especially the back view of the boots. (Lainey Gossip)

• Kate Hudson is pregnant by someone ugly. Remember the first pregnancy when she gained 80 pounds? I love when celebrities let go while pregnant – it’s the happiest they’ll ever be.  This time, she’s holding back. (Celebuzz)

• Here are two ugly people fighting over a baby. At least they don’t have to fight over who gets custody of the stylist. Because, clearly, there isn’t one. (Celebitchy)

 

Enough babies.  They suck. Let’s refocus on ugly.

• This has an unfortunate Heather Mills vibe to me. (Socialite Life)

• No real gossip, just sharing: I think he is ugly. Why does no one agree with me?  Ugh. (Celebuzz)

• Looking like old bags themselves, aging former super models Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss walked the Louis Vuitton runway in Paris. Kate smoked a cigarette while doing so because she is just that cool lazy. (Socialite Life)

• Still in Paris, here’s why I love Michael K. (D Listed)

• If I wanted to look like I’d been sucked dry by a zombie vampire immediately after stepping out of the last functioning post-apocalyptical tanning bed, I’d totally sign up for this newsletter.  How many months in a row can one write: “Stay away from solid foods – liquids come up so much more easily. Check out this video from our sponsor, Cuisinart”? (Celebitchy)

• Miley with an ugly attitude. I might detest her, but I don’t blame her here. (D Listed)

• The gorgeous Julianne Moore is slated to play ugly-on-the-inside Sarah Palin in an HBO production. This I do not like. (The Wrap)

• This blind item is a tough one.  I’ll give you a hint: rhymes with Bike Breyers. (Blind Gossip)

• Tell the truth: you applied, didn’t you? (TMZ)

• Some of you are fighting with me over Goopy on Glee, but I think this is ugly and I’m not just talking about her lank, greasy hair.

• After so much ugliness, I feel I ought to leave you with some pretty. Here’s Salma Hayek in The New York Times Style Magazine talking about her Parisian housewife duties.

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