television

325 posts

Help McDonald’s Program Their Global Television Empire

Imagine it in HD!

“In one of the most unusual twists in niche programming, the global fast-food chain is launching the McDonald’s Channel, a digital network of exclusive original content targeted at dine-in customers.”—L.A.Times 10/17/11

Let’s program this thing, shall we?

6-10am: Good McMorning! As comforting as an Egg McMuffin, as sweet as a Cinnamon Melt, Good McMorning! is newsfotainment at its best!  Greet your day with uplifting stories, interviews and cooking segments.  That’s not heartburn you feel, that’s heartwarming.  Hosts: Dave Coulier and Jenna Von Oy. Continue reading →

Oprah’s Advice Is Actually Kind of Good Sometimes

I had some down time between watching World Cup gymnastics and the Bears game, so I did some channel surfing. When I got into the 200’s, I found OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network. Now, this is a different network from Oxygen, the “O” network she launched a few years ago. Programming on Oxygen is sort of a rag-tag affair of “Bad Girls” shows, reality / competition shows, and infomercials.

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Say Yes to Knope

Knope Knows Best

She’s blonde. She’s pretty. She’s upbeat. She’s sweet. And she may be the most transgressive fictional character on screen right now, big or small.  Her name is Leslie Knope.  And I love her.

Confession: when Parks and Recreation first hit the airwaves in 2009, I didn’t quite get the show—or its central character played by Amy Poehler.  I wanted to like it more than I did.  It came with great auspices (Greg Daniels and Michael Schur, both of The Office), so I watched it, but something didn’t quite work for me. 

I thought Leslie was a little too broad (starting with her joke of a name) and bordered on the silly.  She was so happy.  She didn’t seem all that smart.  She couldn’t “read a room”.  It felt like the creators were making fun of her, a comic technique that always leaves me cold.  (If you don’t love your protagonist, why should I?)  But as the show found its footing and improved (an oft reported ascension), and as the creators and Poehler refined and deepened the character, I started to see Leslie as something utterly fresh and new on television. Continue reading →

Nerd-Nirvana: There’s a Monster Convention You Probably Don’t Know About!

You know one thing Zombies don’t currently have? Well, they own all of Hollywood, that’s for sure. And, yawr, they’re pretty popular in books too. And, yes, also, some of us may have zombie apocalypse survival kits. What?! It’s not just me. Anyway, now zombies will have their own convention. Like for serious, guys. Continue reading →

Mark of the Beast(ie Boy): Liveblogging Episode 666 of Top Chef Just Desserts

Hey, snickerdoodles. Last week was fun, wasn’t it? The sugar pimps made candy bars, some more successful than others. Then they went to a water park, and all of them pretty much sucked like Dysons when it came to creating frozen treats that would refresh customers on a hot day. Angry Montel made some sort of horrific interpretation of a root beer float that seemed to be nothing at all like a root beer float; his dessert was described as heavy and looked disgusting. Gaygent Smith made some stupid thing that required him to leave his customers waiting for minutes in the nuclear hot sun. This seemed to be a problem for the judges at the time. Later, of course, they faulted whatsherface for making her funnel cakes ahead of time, insisting it would have been better to make people wait. Sure, judges. Johnny Iuzzini talked a bunch about how his mouth was coated in this or how that was stuck in the back of his throat. Johnny, I get it. Call me. In the end, ole whatsherface was sent home. What’s happening this week? Join me after the jump, and I’ll tell you all about it.

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Should You Watch Terra Nova?

Hi! I'm that guy from Avatar! Welcome to Terra Nova!

Fox’s dinosaur time travel family drama premiered this week.

Here’s the basic premise: In the year 2149, Earth is a polluted, overcrowded, dystopian crap-hole. Families are limited to two children. People wear breathing masks. Street urchins watch broken ipads. Everything is dirty. Fortunately, scientists discover a crack in time! What? Yes! A crack in time! And we can ease the burden of the surplus population by letting people go through the crack, to colonize the past. Not just any past, though–it’s the Dinosaur Past! You can become one of the lucky colonists in the Terra Nova settlement by winning a lottery, or by having special skills. Continue reading →