Hey, snickerdoodles. Last week was fun, wasn’t it? The sugar pimps made candy bars, some more successful than others. Then they went to a water park, and all of them pretty much sucked like Dysons when it came to creating frozen treats that would refresh customers on a hot day. Angry Montel made some sort of horrific interpretation of a root beer float that seemed to be nothing at all like a root beer float; his dessert was described as heavy and looked disgusting. Gaygent Smith made some stupid thing that required him to leave his customers waiting for minutes in the nuclear hot sun. This seemed to be a problem for the judges at the time. Later, of course, they faulted whatsherface for making her funnel cakes ahead of time, insisting it would have been better to make people wait. Sure, judges. Johnny Iuzzini talked a bunch about how his mouth was coated in this or how that was stuck in the back of his throat. Johnny, I get it. Call me. In the end, ole whatsherface was sent home. What’s happening this week? Join me after the jump, and I’ll tell you all about it.
Ad-Rock is in da hizzy, or whatever the kids were saying five years ago. The challenge will involve making desserts for a street art event using ingredients from Beastie Boys songs. Insert eye roll. Why did you agree to this, Ad-Rock?
Oh well. Maybe it’s better we don’t know. Or maybe he did explain it in that promotional video, but I didn’t hear it because I watched it on mute with my music blasting. Whatev. Anyway, there he is. The dessert divas will become extremely excited upon seeing him enter their kitchen. Sally gets super excited in a cute, fangirl sort of way:
Gaygent Smith also becomes quite excited, but in more of an “I’ve spanked to pictures of Ad-Rock so I can’t control the level of gayface I’m giving off” sort of way:
Srsly, guys, could he look any gayer right there? Maybe if he was holding up a hotdog or… yeah.
So, babes, I hope you brought enough chocolate covered grief bacon to share with the rest of us. I’ll be back once my pants are off and my drink is mixed. Let’s get it on.
