Is it me, or does this season of Jersey Shore feel like a vacation that needs to end sometime soon? Like you’re thisclose to ditching your travel buddies and making one last dash for freedom?
I’m almost afraid to ask what more is there for our favorite ugly Americans to do. Fall/jump/throw one another into the Arno? Don’t know whether it’s stunning or sad that this crew has less than zero interest in the kulchah (and no, hitting up every bar within walking distance of the house doesn’t count). Sigh.
Anyway. I guess tonight we’ll see the fallout from Snook’s darling boyfriend deciding that six hours in Italy is all he needs. Will she take a page from Sammi’s book and retreat to her bed in a hair-twirling fit? Will Pauly and Vinny resume their hilarious roles as the Greek chorus in this tragedy? Who will Ron hulk out against this time? Tune in to find out.
Image via dishnetworkshop.com
Those boots are bigger than Snooki. Wow.
Oh, no. Isn’t getting hammered what started all her problems to begin with? And I’m SO SURE the people in that cafe really gave a fuck, too.
What, is Snooki going to send her dad to kick Jionni’s ass? That would be awesome. Also, um, drunk dialing dad is really not a good idea.
Well, dad can’t kick his ass if boyfriend took off for Rome. How can I get a gig on MTV as a guest in a foreign country?
I cannot WAIT for American Horror Story. That shit’s gonna be good.
Snooki’s lucky all Jenni did was yell at her. Jenni is really a good friend to her. Awwww.
You are really at a low point if Sammi’s talking you down.
Dude, Rome is a two or three hour train ride from Florence. He can see her if he wants. Wow, watching Snooki basically beg this guy is truly ugly.
Uh oh. Jionni, you lied to Jenni. She’s grabbing Ron to go to the train station. Prepare to die.
Snooki. Stop it. You are reeking of desperation. On another note, I see a lot of Ron in Jionni. I think the two of them could be good friends.
I hope no one mistakes Snooki for a Clydsdale in those boots and tries to put a bit in her mouth. I have a feeling it wouldn’t be the first time. The bit, I mean.
IT’S NAKED TIME!!! By the way, is Vinny getting fashion advice from Sitch? They’re both fond of bright-ass colors.
Aaaaannd there goes Snooki, channeling Sammi. Called it!
Yep, cuz choking a total stranger on the dance floor is absolutely normal.
Jenni is like the den mother overseeing these idiot women, in a Miss Garrett Facts-of-Life kind of way (was that her name? I forget.).
Deena’s contrived pregnancy scare = the producers aren’t paying enough attention to me and I’m gonna DO something about it!!!!
Can we wrap up the camera time for Deena? I dunno, she just bugs. Girl tries too damn hard. Kthxbai.
Sure, Snooki showing her hoo-hah at the club was trashy. But did Jianni really just call her a pig? Good on her for calling him out on his controlling behavior.
Did anyone catch the look of surprise on Sammi’s face when Snooki told Jianni to fuck off? She has never taken the high road all classy-like during any of her 37 confrontations with Ron. That’s how it’s done, girl.
That guy in the Dr. Pepper comercial reminded me of the Cousins from Breaking Bad. Creepy.
Is Ron on sedatives? He’s pretty low-key. He has clearly run out of steroids.
Snooki is in fucking Italy and she’s pining for Jersey. Sigh. I’m telling you, culture is wasted on these guys.
But things are picking up cuz they’re getting fresh to death! Huzzah!
Heh. At least they can make fun of themselves. I really can’t hate on these guys, no matter how much I try.
Shut the fuck up, Sitch. We both know you ain’t interested in Nicole. Just stop.
Yowza, Mike. That t-shirt. I need sunglasses to gaze on that.
I don’t want to see Transformers. It looks loud and stupid.
Mike is such a shit-stirrer. And a liar. Stay klassy!
Uh oh, Ronni is DONE. That does not lead to good things.
Worlds are colliding!!! Did Ron tell Snooki to relax? I can’t even.
I would laugh hysterically if someone slapped that hat off Mike’s head.
Why does Vinny sleep with a hood? This intrigues me.
Reeking of desperation award #2 for the night goes to Deena. Why set yourself up for rejection on national television? I just don’t know what to say about that.
I am DONE, just like Ron. Till next week, guys.
