Tim Burton will never ever cease doing that thing that he does in nearly every movie which casts Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp being Edward Scissorhands for the nine craptillionith time. And he’s done it again with his animated feature Frankenweenie. The movie tells a tale about a boy and his dog. Awww, right? No. We just told you…Tim Burton. Continue reading
Coming Attractions
27 posts
I AM NOT A HIPSTER (the movie) from Destin Daniel Cretton on Vimeo.
Sundance already known for embracing the best indie films residing deep down in every be-specked, intellectual, film artist who has something new and on the cusp of greatness to say with verve! and simplicity! can now add the deconstruction of the enigmatic, if not wholly, absolutely infuriating, hipster. Continue reading
Well, here we go. This is something. Now, if you’re going to do an ensemble movie and you’re not striving to be Woody Allen, because yawr, King Ensemble, or taking the low road and attempting to be Gary Marshall, he of the abominable movie turd monsters, Valentine’s Day, and its sizable tumor of a sister, New Year’s Eve, than perhaps you want to keep it small and manageable with a movie about six friends, their kids, and some other perfunctory love crap thrown in. Could a monkey make this movie? Maybe. Will it be good? Depends. Continue reading
Remember 2004 when Kate Hudson was that plucky, scowly, little rosy cheeked spawn-of-Hawn cherub? Yes, her movies were a cutesy explosion of sweatpants and Häagen-Dazs girly fluff-porn. Yeah, well, fast forward eight years to a horrible economy, and an Emma Stone and Jessica Chastain world later, and Kate here is still flopping around holding on to that rom-com branch for all she’s worth. Continue reading
Well, that whole Dark Knight Rises thing was fun while it lasted. We’re now back to viewing poop-quakes on film. Continue reading
Well, finally we get to the good stuff. After last week’s slogging through the butthole of forthcoming 2012 movies, it looks like maybe we’re starting to get somewhere. Continue reading
Oh, good heavens. Why fight it? This thing looks insane, but nonetheless, Sylvester Stallone’s Social Security program just keeps happening. It’s literally like playing a game of This is Your Life as it pertains to movies. You’re really just wondering when they’ll roll out Rick Moranis or JoBeth Williams from Poltergeist. Evidently until that happens, Stallone will just keep force feeding us 80’s action stars dressed in combat gear and with whatever is keeping Dolph Lundgren’s face alive. Continue reading
Yeah, so, we’re back with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as they attempt to maintain, or control, or slapstick carouse with the world’s population of aliens and, I guess, animated graffiti drawings? Makes total sense. Continue reading
Last night before bed I realized the 21 Jump Street trailer had debuted. Before I clicked on it, I had the fleeting thought of, “Well, maybe this thing won’t be so bad. Perhaps it’ll be funny and smart! Maybe it’ll be new but still nostalgic.” That’s crazy lady thinking, right? Yes, absolutely.
Well, no one’s going to object to Chris Pine and Tom Hardy parading around being all hot and macho and stuff in a movie talkie about blowing things up and flexing their tattooed biceps will they? Certainly not. Will it matter that the movie premise is the dumbest thing ever? NO WAY! Chris Pine and Tom Hardy will be walking sex sticks wrapped in orgasm butter, which means there’s at least a 75% chance one or both will be naked before this stupid thing ends! Woot! Continue reading