Coming Attractions: I Am Not A Hipster To Pretty Much Make Fun of Itself

I AM NOT A HIPSTER (the movie) from Destin Daniel Cretton on Vimeo.

Sundance already known for embracing the best indie films residing deep down in every be-specked, intellectual, film artist who has something new and on the cusp of greatness to say with verve! and simplicity! can now add the deconstruction of the enigmatic, if not wholly, absolutely infuriating, hipster.

Behold the I Am Not A Hipster teaser. But sir, you most certainly are a hipster. You are wearing all of the hipster identifying markers. Or are you trying to fool us into thinking you are not terribly conflicted about that wet rats fur of a hair choice you have going on there?

Just what? Really? It’s not enough that we see the damnable hipsters chronicled in the pages of magazines, newspapers, and blogs with their kickball games, and music from the Drive soundtrack! You see here, you’re stoking the hipster fires, and sending wafts of ironic and mundane out to lure the swamp-foot NYU monsters walking around in their huge glasses, tights, and enlightened hoodie coverings, from their dark, dank dorm rooms and basement studio apartments. Now they’ll have their own movie complete with guy playing a half-a-turd tuned guitar, or banging wantonly? Erratically? Spastically? Pelvic Thrustingly? on a drum. There’s bike riding in a school yard, breakdancing with glow sticks, and the sad, sad exposition of the melodramatic hipster as he’s touched lovingly by another of his species. You, sirs, are going to make this movie a part of their recruiting manual.

Many of us other humans won’t understand. What is this music he’s listening to? Is it some sort of ear murdering, new wave demonstration of goose honks with door hinge squeals? Exactly! Huh? It will be way too meta for most of us to comprehend. After all, much of the population doesn’t usually lay about on the street smoking a cigarette contemplating our forlorn, lovesick, aimlessly protracted lives.

All these hipsterzzzz will totally feel better once their novels are published, right? Right.

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