You know what Hollywood thinks happens at weddings? Well, if it’s a small indie film, mostly some drunk and/or high relative will appear to rain Rehab-escaping havoc on just everyone. ::Red Band Trailer:: Yeah, that means cursing and stuff. Continue reading
Coming Attractions
27 posts
So, have you noticed that in all these, “I’m a good guy who does bad things” movies at some point the main character always ends up in the Tough Guy Uniform of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a leather jacket? Yes, okay, so here’s another one of those movies.
I propose that they just make a movie called Reboot, which discusses the process of rebooting a movie. You know, how they decide which marginally successful 1980’s movie hasn’t been touched by the hand of Michael Bay or Brett Ratner (who’s producing this year’s Oscars by the way. We have been forsaken.) and then how they sell its earning potential to a studio. Can’t you just imagine the Weekend at Bernie’s pitch meeting, or the discussion of Killer Klowns from Outer Space over sushi? I’m not really sure how these things happen. Maybe it’s more like spinning a Price Is Right Wheel, but somehow these ideas make it to the big screen mostly to our utter confusion and despair.
Let’s take a look at what Hollywood has on tap for the coming future.
I’m beginning to think Steven Soderbergh and Matt Damon have a very Johnny Depp and Tim Burton type of relationship…this is disturbing. No, seriously, they usually work pretty well together and produce decent films, Matt Damon with his steely angst, his smart man’s smart man acting, and Soderbergh’s penchant for getting most every A-list actor in recent memory to sign on for one of his grand sprawling opuses usually dealing with polarizing topics such as drugs, espionage, government secrets, or making Andy Garcia’s veins protrude from his forehead as he runs a casino. Ensembles that come together for one common cause is kind of Soderbergh’s thing. And Contagion is no exception.
As a vampire lore purist, I could sooo discuss the improbability of vampire-to-human impregnation, but that’s beside the point. Some of you will be squeeing all over yourselves with joy when this latest Stephenie Meyer Scooby-Doo Vampire Movie is released with all its yearning and angst-ridden stares.
Don’t lie. You know it’s true. Continue reading
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMWTcDJGycA&feature=player_embedded
So your best girlfriend Carrie Bradshaw didn’t marry that douchetastical blowhard Mr. Big! No, not at all. She married former Talk Soup host Greg Kinnear. They have 2.4 kids and live in a Manhattan brownstone, plus she’s a high-powered something or other! This is exactly the movie you thought you were going to see two years ago, right? Continue reading
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu8H3BiIPww
Ever wondered what it would be like to be married and have kids with George Clooney? Well, in The Descendants, he trades his flair for the suave and debonair for parental concern and ubiquitous dad shorts. Continue reading