Just putting this up for review. I am putting up something fun later tonight.
So here is the first #Crassyalk educational film from the propaganda ministry. Enjoy.
Community
4068 posts
That’s right readers, writers, ponderers and scribes, we’re going big. BMC gave his blessing and everything.
So here’s the vision: we snark, we make light, we comment crassly. And from the best and most glorious of our witticisms and insights we (meaning I, Stabby) tweet our brilliance to the world.
Crasstalk: we broadcast your pithy genius to the world (anonymously, of course).
ETA: we need a good avatar. Anyone have any ideas? All I can come up with are pretty vintage dresses, so…
Here’s the thing about us all being such incredibly shallow bastards: Uh, we’re incredibly shallow bastards. We like photos, because looks matter, and while those who did post pictures turned out to be largely pleasant surprises, it’s impossible not to wonder what’s hiding behind those who are forgoing pictures in favor of a thousand words. Luckily, your favorite editorial assistant (I mean me, assholes) is here to decipher some choice words and phrases from actual Gawker Dating posts in order to help you understand who’s painting hot pictures and who’s basically spray-painting acne and man-boobs all over the place, using a little game I like to call “This is Where You Lost Me.” Continue reading
Let’s talk about names. Please make sure to use a name we’ll recognize when commenting so that we know who you are. Even if you had to register with a name you didn’t prefer you can always add an alias or screen name so that it displays with what you want.
Everybody Loves Reptilians
Most conspiracy theories rely on the same old tired villains and puppet masters to frighten believers into reading really crappy websites and investing all of their money in survival gardens. The Illuminati, the Free Masons, the Jews, blah, blah, blah, we have heard this all before. Note to conspiracy people: give the Jew thing a rest. They are only .2% of the worlds population, and bitching that Jews control the world does literally make you a fucking Nazi.
However, one group of crazies has made a dedicated effort to keep things 
fresh in paranoid land. These are those who have the insight to see the shadows that surround us. They know that there is more than meets the eye in the day-to-day machinations of the global power structure. These are the believers in the Reptilians (sometimes called Draconians if your not a total poseur). These folks know that many of the most powerful people in the world are not only working against the good of humanity, but that they are not even human. Everybody panic!!!!!!
Essentially, the reptilian conspiracy says that a group of space aliens (or extra-dimensional travelers, depending on your Thorazine dose) have infiltrated the human power structure and are secretly running the world. The reptilians have been around for most of human history, and we all know Jesus, Angelina Jole, and George H.W. Bush are reptilians. You can see a full list here, at this uniquely designed website.
Need proof that that the reptilians walk among us? It’s in their beady little eyes.
They even control the media.
By the way, this is the greatest video ever loaded to YouTube.
So, why should we be afraid of the reptilians, they have been here forever, right? Well, the problem is that the reptilians want to get rid of human beings so that they can have all of the Earth’s delicious resources for themselves. That is why there are so many natural disasters (not climate change) and why our civil liberties are being taken away (not weak political leadership). Fortunately, there is another group of aliens called the Vulturites (really), who are trying to protect humanity from both the reptilians and our own destructive tendencies.
David Icke: Soldier for Truth
The world’s most prominent expert on reptilians is Brit David Icke. Icke’s qualifications included being a mediocre footballer and the British equivalent of a shock jock (sound familiar, Mr. Beck)? Since he started peddling this claptrap, Icke has written a number of books, but makes no money off of them because he was too stupid to secure his own copyright. Nonetheless Icke, has a successful website and does extensive speaking tours so that jackasses like you won’t be made into lizard food. The motto of the website is Exposing the Dreamworld We Believe to be Real, which kind of sums up the whole delusional enterprise. There are of course those who do not tow Icke’s line about the reptilians. The reptilian believer community is full of Judean People’s Front type divisions and since everyone involved is crazy it is hard to sort out who is who. Bonus: Alex Jones and the Prison Planet people actually really hate the reptilian people because it makes the conspiracy community look crazy (lulz). However, they all agree that we are doomed if we don’t continue to watch them on the internet.
Note: This is the worst video ever posted on YouTube.
So stay vigilant Crasstalkers, the final battle is coming. Prepare yourself for war. Soon you will be forced to choose sides, and you never know who is watching.
It was only a matter of time, really. Put together thousands of Internet people who only like talking to other Internet people and eventually everyone was bound to want to sleep with each other. Enter #GawkerDating, a portal to the weird wide world of weird wide people; some of whom sound awesome, some of whom sound terrifying, and all of whom haven’t seen someone naked in a while. Continue reading
Ok, dogs and poodles (shout out to the 2 Live Stews), gather round. If you’re having trouble posting comments or want to start posting comments on Crasstalk, here’s how you do it.
Crasstalk uses a commenting system called IntenseDebate. It’s not necessarily perfect, but it’s very nice. Many, many sites also use the same system. For example, Wonkette has been using ID for the past year or two and it’s believed that their commentariat is decisively winning the internet war against the Paultards, Tea Partiers, PUMAs, RedStaters, SkoalRebel and other crazies.
So how do I get started?
To post comments here you MUST create an IntenseDebate account. Using IntenseDebate is easy once you’re set up with a new account.
Here’s how to create a new IntenseDebate account.
Note: IntenseDebate accounts have absolutely NOTHING to do with WordPress accounts. The WordPress author accounts we use here on the site are NOT the same as WordPress.com accounts. So even if Botswana has approved you as an author, you STILL have to create a brand new IntenseDebate account.
IntenseDebate accounts are used across any site that uses the ID commenting system. This is pretty neat. It means you can go over to, say, Wonkette and post a comment with your same exact profile/avatar. The one downside is that if your name is fairly common or very long, you’ll have to tweak it. Don’t worry if it tells you your desired user name is already taken. Just try putting in an underscore or writing it slightly differently.
If you have any issues using IntenseDebate, please go read their support site.
Also, I made changes to the About page, so if you’re curious about getting an author account, go there.
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome, fellow #crasstalkers. Denton’s latest fiasco has made me reconsider my longstanding desire to leave Gawker permanently. The main pages have become a wasteland and most of my favorite commenters are already over here.
The only thing I’d really miss about Gawker is the liveblogs of Top Chef and Project Runway, so I was thinking (regrets to Mr. Hippity) of starting up our own Liveblogs over here.
Is this something that would interest people? If so please let me know in the comments and I’ll let the brain fluids start gestating some liveblog ideas.
If you still have the default Crasstalk password then you need to change that to something else. Don’t use dictionary words, use upper and lower case and use special characters. And for the love of Jeebus don’t use your Gawker password here.
